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You and your partner have been together for years and have a strong and happy relationship. You go on holiday together, have plans for the future and there is no problem. But then someone comes into your lives and changes everything. Because even though you get to know this person separately, you both feel a strong attraction to this person.
In the beginning it is all innocent and you both talk enthusiastically about the person. But over time it starts to bother both of you. You try to ignore it and not talk about it, but the tension between you continues to grow. Eventually you decide to discuss it with each other and it turns out that you both have feelings for the same person. And not only that: if you discuss it with the person yourself, it turns out that the person also has feelings for both of you. What now?
If you’re like most people, you may not be too familiar with relationships that aren’t monogamous. However, there is a form of relationship in which people are open to romantic and/or sexual relationships with others, as long as there is consent and openness from everyone involved. That is the polyamorous relationship, a form of relationship based on polyamory. We’ll tell you more about it.
What is polyamory?
Polyamory is a form of relationship in which you are open to having more than one sexual or romantic relationship at the same time. However, this does not happen in secret, as is the case with an affair, but with the approval of your partner. Polyamory is about ensuring that all relationships are entered into in an ethical and respectful manner, and that there is honest communication and agreement between you, your partner and others involved.
Unlike monogamy , which focuses exclusively on one partner, people who are polyamorous can share feelings of love, connection, and intimacy with multiple partners. Polyamory can take different forms, from a love triangle to a group of multiple partners, and everything in between.
Polyamory is therefore not the same as adultery , because there is openness and consent. It is also not something that is suitable for everyone as it is too complex for most people. You need to have strong communication skills and be open to complex situations in your relationship.
Polyamory is a term originating from the Greek language. Loosely translated it means ‘many loves’ or ‘multiple love’.
ALSO READ: What is Polygamy? How A Polygamous Relationship Works and Its Forms
It’s not cheating
Contrary to what many people think, there is no cheating in this relationship. Cheating and polyamory are two very different things. Within a polyamorous relationship, consultation is first held with the other partner(s) before entering into a romantic relationship with someone else.
Cheating is when you enter into a romantic and/or sexual relationship outside an existing monogamous relationship, without the consent and knowledge of your partner. This involves cheating and violating your partner’s trust. Polyamory, on the other hand, is a form of relationship in which it is allowed to have multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships at the same time, with the consent of your partner and in complete openness.
The big difference between cheating and polyamory is this consent and openness. Polyamory involves consent and open communication, while cheating is about secrecy and deception.
Benefits of polyamory
If you choose to live a polyamorous life, there are several benefits you can experience.
1. You have more love and connection in your life
Instead of being limited to one person, you have the opportunity to share love and more with multiple partners. This allows you to build a deeper bond with different people, which would not be possible in a monogamous relationship.
ALSO READ: What is A Love Triangle? How It Works and The Challenges
2. You can get to know yourself better
When you have different relationships, you have the opportunity to discover and develop different parts of yourself. It can be complicated and take you outside your comfort zone, where ultimately the most growth lies in developing yourself. Through interactions with different partners, you also learn more about your desires and needs , while also learning to understand and accept yourself better.
3. You have more flexibility and freedom
Instead of having to conform to the expectations of one partner, you have the opportunity to shape your relationships in different ways. This allows you to make your life more flexible and more in line with your own values and desires.
4. You can protect yourself better
In a polyamorous relationship, there is less chance of loneliness or dependence on one partner. If a problem arises in one relationship, you can still get support and love from your other partner(s). This can protect you from one-sided dependence and provides a more secure basis for your relationships.
Of course, these benefits don’t apply to everyone. No two polyamorous relationships are the same and no one person will experience all of these benefits. There are of course also disadvantages that come with this type of relationship.
ALSO READ: 11 Signs You’re Losing Yourself in a Relationship
Disadvantages of polyamory
While polyamory can be an attractive form of relationship for some people , there are also some disadvantages to consider.
1. Complications in communication
In a polyamorous relationship, it is crucial to communicate openly with all parties involved. This is even more the case than in a usual relationship with one person. But since it involves several people, each with their own desires, needs and feelings, this can be quite difficult. So it requires a lot of time and effort to ensure that communication remains good.
2. Emotional challenges
Because polyamory revolves around multiple relationships at the same time, it can be a challenge to keep your emotions under control. Complex emotions are involved. For example, you may become jealous of your partner or the third party involved. You may feel insecure or neglected because you receive less attention than others. Or you may find it difficult to divide your love and attention between multiple people.
3. Social stigmas
Unfortunately, polyamory is still not accepted in all parts of society. As a result, you may encounter prejudice, discrimination and misunderstanding. This comes from people who do not understand or disapprove of this form of relationship due to religious views.
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4. Time and energy
Maintaining more than one relationship takes time. It also takes a lot of energy to keep everyone happy. For example, you need to make sure you devote enough time and attention to each partner, which can lead to stress and fatigue. It can also be difficult to find a good balance between your work, your social life and your relationships.
As with the disadvantages, these disadvantages do not apply to everyone. Everyone deals with it differently and what is an obstacle for someone else may feel good to you.
Are you considering entering into a polyamorous relationship? It is up to you to determine whether the advantages of polyamory outweigh the disadvantages and whether this form of relationship is suitable for you. If you decide polyamory is for you, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and anyone else involved.
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