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Why do people break up in relationships? It’s a question deeply rooted in the complex nature of human relationships and emotions. No two people are the same, so there are countless factors and reasons that can lead to the difficult decision to end a relationship.
Some do it to grow as a person, others to protect themselves, while others end the relationship for the sake of the other. Do you wonder if you have a valid reason for breaking up your relationship? Or do you want to know more about the reasons why people break up their relationships? We’ll tell you more about it.
Break up
Ending a relationship is a complex and emotionally charged decision that people make for a variety of reasons. Because every relationship has a unique story with its own characters, twists and climaxes, the reason for a breakup is never the same. People break up in relationships for different reasons, and these reasons often reflect deeper issues and needs.
Although billions of relationships have failed, every breakup is unique in its own kind. There is no one-size-fits-all reason for ending a relationship . This means that you may have different motives for extorting yourself from the arms of a future ex-partner. Breaking up in a relationship is one of the most difficult decisions you can make, and it is rarely experienced as a walk in the park.
18 reasons to end a relationship
A relationship can be an exciting adventure, complete with highs and lows. But sometimes, like any adventure, you come to a point where you have to decide if it’s time to chart a new course. The path you’ve been following is no longer what it once was, and you feel it’s time to forge a new path. But do you have a valid reason to break up with him? These are eighteen valid reasons why you can break up.
1. You no longer feel anything for your partner
This is the situation where you say ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. No matter how sweet your partner is to you and how much he or she tries, you cannot fully control your feelings. It often happens that one partner no longer feels anything for the other partner. During the relationship you can recognize the signs that the relationship is over .
It is a difficult situation in which you must carefully choose your steps to end the relationship. The best way to end this relationship is to talk about it. This does not have to be done in one conversation, but can also be built up in multiple conversations.
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2. You discover that it just doesn’t work
Instead of daily fights and arguments back and forth, at some point you may come to the realization that the relationship just isn’t working. You are probably not the only one who thinks this way at that moment. It is a situation that is not fun for anyone, but can still end well.
An adult conversation in which you look back together on the past period can lead to a joint choice to end it. The harmonious way of breaking up prevents drama and is potentially even the best way to break up .
3. You’re the only one who puts in the effort
The saying ‘it takes two to tango’ applies to every relationship. If only one person makes an effort for a relationship and the other makes no effort at all, this will undoubtedly lead to division. Sometimes people put in a disproportionate amount of work to make the relationship work, while the other person doesn’t lift a finger. In the beginning you can live with it, but at a certain point it is no longer enough.
If you only give and get nothing in return, this could be a reason to leave the relationship. If you are in this situation, you have probably tried many things to change it. Talk about it to see if improvement is possible. If this is not enough for you, you can still make the decision.
4. You have fundamental values that do not match
If your core values do not match those of your partner, conflict and frustration will arise constantly. In such a situation, it can feel like you are in a constant battle, a relationship war, where you keep having to compromise on things that are important to you.
5. You bring each other down
Some people are not made for each other, especially when both have their own problems that are reinforced by the other. The combination results in a toxic relationship . For example, if you have recovered from alcohol addiction, an alcoholic partner can help you get back on track by giving you the bottle. Two partners who put each other down create a vicious circle for each other.
Moreover, it does not have to be an addiction to drugs or alcohol to end up in this situation. Two partners who demand the utmost from each other can also take a toll on the relationship, or two partners who keep persuading each other to do nothing. If you feel that your relationship is not allowing you to live the life you want, this can be a valid reason to end the relationship.
6. You or your partner are having an affair
Whether it’s you or your partner having an affair, the fact that a third party is involved can be enough reason to end the relationship. If you cheat, then there is something wrong in the relationship. You’re missing something that you can’t get in your own relationship. Otherwise you wouldn’t be secretly cheating or spending hours on SecondLove . What you don’t like in your own relationship could be a reason for you to break up.
If your partner has cheated on you , and you cannot forget and forgive, then this is a valid reason to end the relationship. No one is surprised if someone breaks up with you because your partner cheated. Most would do exactly the same.
7. Your partner treated you badly
In some situations, breaking up is the only real option. You may have stared at it for a while, but eventually you realize there is no other choice. For example, your partner has cheated on you with someone else, you are regularly abused or you are treated like a slave and emotionally destroyed.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in the relationship; Get out of here as quickly as possible and never look back. It doesn’t matter how you do it, you deserve to be happy on your own again. Whether you are a man or a woman, no one should experience abuse in a relationship.
The fact that you are being abused physically, emotionally or sexually is bad enough. It’s even worse when it comes from someone you don’t expect, the person you’re in a relationship with. If you are experiencing abuse of any kind, dumping your partner is the only solution.
8. You feel suffocated or limited by the relationship
A healthy relationship should allow you to grow and flourish, not limit you. If you feel like you can’t be yourself anymore, have to give up your passions, or have to constantly live up to your partner’s expectations, the relationship may be suffocating you.
9. You are in love with someone else
Although you may not have cheated yet, being in love with someone else is something you can’t ignore. It’s not infidelity, but it is the reason why many men and women cheat . Do your thoughts wander to someone else during the day and during s ex? Then ask yourself if it wouldn’t be better to end the relationship. You protect yourself, but also your partner, by preventing your crush from taking action.
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10. You argue too often
One reason why many relationships fail is the daily arguments and disagreements. If this happens once in a while, then there is nothing to worry about; that’s just part of a relationship between two people. However, it becomes a problem if this happens regularly and small details lead to disagreement.
The constant divisions and escalations of simple arguments show that you have different views and opinions than your partner. If you notice that this clashes too often, then this is a valid reason to think about the future together.
11. You don’t feel happy
Sometimes it cannot be pinpointed exactly, but you still feel unhappy. It’s the little things that happen in your relationship that make you feel sad and desperate. Your partner never does anything special for you, the intimacy is not what it used to be or there is a lack of communication; There can be many reasons why you feel unhappy in your relationship .
Maybe you’ve already given up, you’ve come to accept it, but you’ve reached the point where you can’t go on. If you are no longer happy, you can try to work on the relationship together. But if that doesn’t work, breaking up is the only option. Ultimately, what matters in your own life is that you are happy.
12. There is a lack of trust in the relationship
Trust is the backbone of any healthy relationship. If you find yourself constantly doubting your partner’s honesty and trustworthiness, it’s no wonder you’re living in a world of stress. A relationship without trust is like a building without a solid foundation, shaky and insecure.
13. You no longer have common goals
In the beginning of a relationship, you may have shared the same dreams and goals. But over time, these goals can change. If you are no longer moving in the same direction, it can lead to distance from each other. It’s like being in a boat together, but both paddling to different destinations. The result? You are no longer moving forward, the relationship is at a standstill.
Sometimes people grow apart, develop new interests, and develop as individuals. When you and your partner are no longer on the same path, it can feel like you’re on opposite sides of a crossroads, with little common ground.
14. You have discovered that you are fundamentally different than you thought
Sometimes you discover over time that you and your partner are just not as compatible as you initially thought. It can feel like you’re reading a book with an intriguing cover, but over time the content turns out to be completely different than you expected.
15. Your sexual desires are not fulfilled
A healthy sex life is important to most people. If you find that your sexual needs and desires are not being understood or met, you may become frustrated along the way. The result is that you will no longer be satisfied with the relationship unless something changes.
16. You have different dreams and expectations
In the beginning of a relationship, everything is beautiful and falling in love overshadows all the essential aspects of a healthy relationship. Over time, your common interests turn out to be more different than you previously thought. The expectations of the relationship and the dreams for the future are not the same. This is why the saying ‘love is blind’ exists.
At some point both will have to make a choice; whether your own dreams and expectations are fulfilled, or those of your partner. If neither person is willing to settle, this is a valid reason for both to end the relationship.
17. You have no real reason to stay
Instead of looking for reasons to break up, ask yourself what reasons you have to stay in the relationship. Ask yourself why you are still in a relationship with your partner. Don’t want to be single? Are you looking forward to finding your own home? Or is it because you are so used to your current life?
If the answer is yes to these questions, then you have no real reason to stay in the relationship. You have enough reason to move on with your life alone.
18. You look for reasons to break up
The reason why you are reading this article? You probably already know that your relationship is doomed to failure. Do you seek the permission of others to justify your choice? The reality is that you now know many different reasons, but ultimately you have to make the choice yourself. Is the reason to break up strong enough? You decide that yourself.
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How do you break up?
Breaking up is no fun. It means that that special person you shared so many memories with will soon no longer be in your life on a daily basis. But before you pull the plug, you face a few important choices. Will you break up through a candid conversation, quietly disappear from view, or opt for a less orthodox approach? Every choice has its consequences and its impact is sometimes difficult to predict.
Sometimes words are almost redundant and a simple ‘goodbye’ is the only word that needs to be spoken. In other situations, all hell breaks loose and you become embroiled in a years-long battle over all kinds of things that don’t really matter. In practice, breaking up a relationship is rarely uncomplicated. But what is the best approach?
The best way to break up
The way people break up with their partner varies per situation. If you catch your partner cheating, you break up with him in a different way than if you no longer feel love for your partner. Psychologists from the University of Kansas did research and found seven ways to end a relationship. These seven ways were investigated to arrive at the most effective way. In other words: the best way for both parties. These are those seven ways you can end the relationship.
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Evade/retreat
If you want to end the relationship, you can choose to avoid your partner. This means that you distance yourself, withdraw and no longer make an effort for your partner. Conversations become short and superficial.
“I kept our conversations short when we spoke.”
Positive tone / Own fault
Another approach is to end the relationship on a positive note and not place the blame on your partner. You try to prevent your partner from feeling guilty or hurt.
“I tried to keep my partner from feeling bad about the breakup.”
Honest confrontation
Sometimes the best way to break up is to be honest and upfront with your partner. You tell your partner straight up that you don’t want to continue, and you explain why.
“I openly expressed my desire to separate to my partner.”
Increasing conflicts
If you want to show that the relationship is over for you, you can choose to consciously argue more, not cooperate and become demanding.
“I chose an argument with my partner as an excuse to break up.”
Manipulation
Another way is to involve other people in the breakup. You can tell them what you want, ask someone else to deliver the bad news, or even start dating hoping your partner gets the message.
“I gave hints about my desire to separate to people who know my partner.”
Distant communication
Sometimes people choose to distance themselves completely through distant communication. This means that you stay away from your partner and digitally end the relationship.
“I ended the relationship indirectly (via email, text message or other communication method).”
De-escalation
A more gradual approach is to wait until conditions are more favorable for a breakup, slowly wind down the relationship, or even suggest a time-out in the relationship.
“I waited until the circumstances were right for the breakup (for example, until vacation time).”
Based on this scientific research we can say that ‘open confrontation’ is the best choice. This is the way that research has confirmed as the way to break up . That causes the least grief and has the best consequences for both parties. It is also the way that makes it possible to explain your reason in an honest and open way. According to the research, if you end a relationship with ‘open confrontation’, your message will have the least impact.
If an open confrontation is not possible for whatever reason, then the ‘positive tone / own fault’ is the best alternative. According to the research, this is the second best way to break up. In this way you mainly blame yourself and try to avoid hurting your partner.
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