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You have been in a relationship with a man for some time, let’s call him Chris. You are happy together, live together and have already made many wonderful memories. But lately you’ve been feeling the urge to know if he wants to take the next step. We are not talking about children yet, but about marriage. Will he ever want to marry you?
You decide to share your feelings during a quiet evening at home. As you sit together on the couch, you look into his eyes and gently ask, “Do you ever think about getting married, Chris? I mean, we have such a great time together and I can’t imagine a future without you. But what do you think about that?”
His response is as serious as it is malicious, as he takes your hand and says, “Honey, I’m watching some football right now. Shall we talk about it another time?” It’s not the first time Chris has changed the subject. He does it every time it comes to marriage. Doesn’t he want to get married?
Doesn’t he want to get married?
Imagine if life in the past was a bit like an old-fashioned recipe: one cup of love, two tablespoons of romance and a good dash of marriage. The result was often a beautiful dish that was on everyone’s table. But as with any recipe, it evolves with time and is adapted to modern people’s tastes. And so today we have added a modern twist to the recipe, where marriage is no longer the only option.
Just as people love to experiment with new flavors and dishes, we’ve discovered there are more ways to celebrate love. Some people now find that their relationship can be just as satisfying without the formal labels and obligations that come with marriage. It’s about what works for you and what makes you happy – whether that’s part of a marriage or not. At least, that is the opinion shared by more and more people.
Marriage is not the ultimate seal of your love for all men. Some men, like women, have a more unconventional view of love and relationships. They choose not to rush into traditional marriage and instead focus on connecting with their partner. That doesn’t mean they aren’t committed or don’t value their relationship; it just means they do what feels best for them.
19 Signs That Say He Doesn’t Want It
The best way to find out if he wants to marry you (ever) and what he thinks about marriage? Ask him about it. But if you think that’s too direct or he keeps avoiding the subject, look for these signs that he doesn’t want it.
1. He doesn’t see the added value of it
If your boyfriend repeatedly says that a marriage certificate is not necessary to confirm your love, this could be a sign that he is not open to marriage. While he may love you and be committed to the relationship, he may have difficulty with the concept of a formal commitment, such as marriage.
- “Marriage is just a contract that ties you down. I much prefer to be free and untethered.”
- “I don’t see the point in getting married. Why should we tie ourselves together with all that paperwork?”
- “We don’t need a piece of paper to prove our love, right?”
2. He’s looking forward to the wedding
Does he say he finds the idea of a traditional, large-scale wedding intimidating or overwhelming? Don’t count on him changing his mind anytime soon. He may feel stressed thinking about all the planning, costs and expectations that go into a wedding.
Also read: 84+ Tough Questions and Topics for Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
3. He thinks it’s too much effort
Planning a wedding takes a lot of time. Some men simply don’t like hassle and see marriage as a complicated and time-consuming affair. If he sees all the administrative and organizational aspects of getting married as too much of a hassle, he will probably try to avoid it.
4. He laughs at his married friends
Does he respond with laughter to his married friends or make sarcastic comments about their marriage? Then this clearly indicates a negative attitude towards marriage. He probably sees marriage as an awkward and unnecessary step in a relationship.
5. He doesn’t want children
If he clearly states that he does not want children, this could also be a sign that he has no intention of getting married. For some people, getting married and having children go hand in hand, so if he rejects the thought of parenthood, it could mean he’s not interested in getting married either.
6. He says he wants to keep his options open
Can it be any clearer? If he regularly indicates that he wants to keep his options open, then he simply isn’t willing to commit to a lifelong relationship. You can decide for yourself what this means. It could be a sign that he views marriage as restrictive or suffocating, but also that he doesn’t plan to be with you forever.
- “I’m really enjoying our time together, but I don’t want to move too fast and keep my options open.”
- “Let’s just enjoy the moment and see where it takes us, without rushing into anything serious.”
- “I’m not ready to commit to anyone forever, so let’s just see how it goes.”
7. He’s evasive when you bring it up
Every time you bring it up he changes the subject. He walks away or ignores the conversation. If he does this and doesn’t want to talk about the future of your relationship , including marriage, it could indicate a lack of interest. He prefers to avoid the subject so as not to give false hope or a confrontational answer.
8. He doesn’t have the money for it
Getting married can be quite expensive. Especially if you have a grand wedding in mind. If he would rather spend the money on other things, such as travel, investments or personal interests, he can avoid getting married for financial reasons.
9. He has seen bad examples
His parents are divorced, some of his uncles and aunts and he has therefore witnessed unhappy marriages in his environment or family. His experiences with marriages have not been pleasant and this may influence his views on marriage. Knowing this, keep in mind that he will be reluctant. He simply doesn’t want to end up in the same situation.
10. He’s only had short relationships
If all his previous relationships were short-lived, this may be a sign that he is not made for a lifelong relationship – which is what marriage is meant to be. Although he may have had bad luck in choosing a partner in the past, this pattern does say something about his relationship behavior.
Also read: Serious Relationship? What It Is, What It Isn’t and How to Find It
11. He never brings up the subject of marriage
If he never brings up the subject of marriage on his own, this could be a sign that it is not a priority for him. He doesn’t think it’s important. It could be that he just doesn’t think about it or it may not be in his plans for the future.
12. He has a fear of commitment
Getting married sounds pretty serious, right? For him, this may be the reason he never wants to talk about marriage. Think of it as a form of fear of commitment . It may make him avoid the idea of marriage because it requires a big step of commitment. And he’s not ready for that.
13. He has a negative view of marriage
When you talk about marriage, he immediately starts talking about the number of divorces . He doesn’t see the positive sides of it and only sees the negative. This behavior indicates that he is pessimistic about marriage and would rather not get married himself.
- “You know, I’ve heard that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce.”
- “I wonder why people still get married when the chance of divorce is so high.”
- “I know so many people who are divorced. It seems like every marriage fails.”
- “Let’s face it, most marriages end in disaster. I want to avoid that misery.”
14. He sees marriage as a social pressure
For some men, marriage can feel like a social expectation or pressure from others, rather than a conscious choice out of love. Does he feel like he has to get married to meet other people’s expectations? Then this is a sign that he won’t do it.
15. He is afraid of change
Getting married changes the relationship. You are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend, but each other’s husband and wife. Some men may avoid the idea of marriage because it involves major changes. In other words, he may fear the unknown and choose the comfort of the current situation over change.
16. He sees marriage as the beginning of the end
For some people, the idea of marriage can be associated with the beginning of the end. It is a thought that has been confirmed by films, which often mock marriage and its attendant obligations. This may be the reason why he does not want to get married.
Also read: Pitfalls in New Relationships: How to Avoid Them
17. He has a different idea of the ideal relationship
Everyone has their own vision of the ideal relationship. If he has a different view on relationships and commitment than you, he may avoid the idea of marriage. He mainly does this because it does not fit his image of what he wants in a partner and relationship.
18. He doesn’t feel ready for marriage
If he doesn’t feel ready for marriage, he won’t do it. Maybe he wants more time for himself to explore his feelings or maybe he thinks your relationship hasn’t reached the right point yet. If he says any of these things, he doesn’t want to marry you. Not yet, at least.
19. He is satisfied with the current situation
If he is happy with the way things are in your relationship now, he may see marriage as an unnecessary change. Things are going well as they are now, aren’t they? He feels no pressure to formalize the relationship because he is happy with the current dynamic of your relationship.
- “Let’s just enjoy what we have now, without the pressure of marriage. Aren’t we happy like this?”
- “Why change anything when things are already going so well between us?”
- “I love the way we are now and don’t want to ruin anything by getting married.”
Please note that these signs are not always black and white. They don’t necessarily mean that he definitely never wants to get married. However, these are signs that he is reluctant about marriage.
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