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Relationships are sometimes unclear. You realize this when you try to read between the lines of every message received from your sweetheart. You share memes, stories and occasionally you meet up together. But somewhere there’s a question nagging at you: ‘Is this it?’
Your loved one is caring, attentive, and your chemistry is undeniable. But when your friends ask if you two are serious, you shrug your shoulders. That’s why you wonder whether this light-hearted, flirtatious chapter is an introduction to a serious story with depth or a short story that could end at any moment. Let’s talk about what a serious relationship actually entails, what it certainly isn’t, and how you can get into one.
When are you in a serious relationship?
A serious relationship is a relationship between two people that goes beyond superficial interactions and casual dating. It is a relationship in which you both invest genuine emotions, time and effort to build a strong bond. Openness, dedication, respect and communication are central.
In a serious relationship you are no longer just an individual, but you are part of a team. You go through life together, share joy and sorrow, and pay attention to each other’s needs. It is a relationship in which you feel safe to be yourself, without judgment or condemnation. A serious relationship goes beyond superficial love and is about building a deeper connection with your partner.
The most important characteristic of a serious relationship is that you only have eyes for one person. You have little or no interest in other possible relationship candidates or a quick flirt. All you want is this person, someone you want to grow old with. You have only one goal in mind: a lasting relationship with someone you want to go through thick and thin with, until you have gone gray together.
In a serious relationship:
- Are you there for each other, in good and bad times.
- Are you involved in each other’s lives and take each other’s needs into account?
- Are you transparent and open to each other?
- Do you give each other space to grow and develop as individuals?
When you are in a serious relationship, you start to hear terms such as moving in together, the question of children and making plans for the future. This doesn’t just come out of your mouth if it remains a simple crush or a friend with benefits. It happens naturally when you feel like this person means more to you than a passing crush. Then at some point the conversations turn to finding a house for the two of you. Or whether you want children, how many and when. Or what you would like to do together in the future, such as taking beautiful trips or perhaps even living abroad.
In a serious relationship you don’t have to worry about making your romance public. Out together, home together – it’s that simple. ‘We’ and ‘us’ become part of your new vocabulary, where you used to use ‘I’ and ‘my’. Introducing your loved one to your circle of friends and family and then making them part of your inner circle, it all feels natural. And all with a proud smile – after all, you are a team.
Also read: 20 Best Date Night Ideas at Home
How do you recognize a serious relationship?
You can recognize a serious relationship by the depth and level of commitment. It goes beyond superficial flirting and dating. It’s more than that, much more. You feel a strong emotional connection and you can open yourself up completely. Not only do you share fun moments with each other, but you can also have difficult conversations and resolve conflicts in a mature way.
A serious relationship also goes beyond just physical attraction. It’s about a deeper understanding of each other’s personalities, values and goals in life. You feel safe and secure with your partner, and can be yourself without fear of rejection. There is a mutual desire to grow together and invest in the relationship.
Characteristics
- Strong emotional connection
- Trust, respect and openness
- Pursuing goals together
- Willingness to invest in the relationship
- Mature communication and conflict management
If you see these characteristics in your relationship, you can be sure that you are in a serious relationship. But remember, a serious relationship is an ongoing effort and requires both partners to continue working to grow and maintain the relationship.
Non-serious relationships
Of course, there are also those relationships where you say: ‘Nah, not really serious’. But, sometimes you are stuck with the same person for quite a while and then you could say that it is a kind of ‘relationship’. What is it? Let’s look at some typical examples.
Friends with benefits
Take the well-known ‘friends with benefits’ situation, or FWB for short . That’s when two people think, “Let’s ‘support’ each other not only emotionally, but also physically every now and then.” Great deal, as long as you both agree. You both agree that it is not a serious relationship, but a way to fulfill each other’s needs.
The danger of friends with benefits is that one of you will develop feelings that go beyond friendship. This can lead to jealousy if the other person meets someone with whom he or she develops a loving relationship, which changes the friends with benefits concept into ‘just friends’. That is why there are rules that you must adhere to with this form of relationship, otherwise it will not work.
A free range
And then you have that group that really doesn’t want stability. Those people who quickly get the jitters if they hang around the same person for too long, or who feel like they’ll miss the lottery if they settle down. These people are often free-range kings and queens: blanks without much depth, mainly based on physical contact.
Do you see it in your mind? First let loose on the dance floor for an evening and then spend the night together, and then don’t text each other for weeks or only when you want to go out again. And that’s totally fine, as long as you and your friend want to sing the same song. But that is not a serious relationship either.
What if one of you gets serious? Well, then it becomes a bit of a complicated dance. Maybe you will end up being a hotel cheat yourself for the person you actually saw as a free-range person. If that feeling isn’t mutual, then you’re sitting there with a broken heart. That’s a plot twist that you would rather see in films than experience.
The platonic relationship
Then there is the platonic relationship – that is like a unicorn among relationships. Some people just don’t believe that you can be purely friendly with someone you could theoretically like, whether you’re straight or gay. But there really are people who wouldn’t trade their platonic friends for their weight in gold.
Platonic friends can be very valuable because they are often better able to stand the test of time than other types of relationships . If you have a purely platonic relationship with someone, it often doesn’t matter if you don’t see each other for a long time due to circumstances. When you meet again afterwards, you often pick up the thread as if you had seen each other a week ago.
Platonic friends are also often very useful to discuss things with that you do not discuss with your loved one or family. They often have an illuminating view on matters and can therefore help you tackle certain problems.
Also read: What Women Want From Men? That You Do These 65 Things
Building a serious relationship
A serious relationship often starts with a period of getting to know each other and getting to know each other better . This is the first phase of a relationship, also known as the getting-to-know-you phase. Then comes the deepening phase, in which you further develop the relationship and go to a deeper level. Finally, there is the transition to a serious relationship, in which the two of you silently transition to a serious relationship.
First stages of a relationship
The introductory phase is an exciting time in which you get to know each other better. You go on dates, have interesting conversations and discover more and more about each other’s interests, values and goals in life. This is the time when you lay the foundation for a strong bond and a deep connection.
During the deepening phase, your relationship continues to grow. You will spend more time together and get to know each other’s habits, routines and quirks. You share more and more with each other and create beautiful memories. This phase is crucial for building trust and strengthening the bond between the two of you.
Transition to serious relationship
At some point, there may come a point where you decide to take the relationship seriously. This can happen when you feel you are ready for more commitment and dedication . And yes, that can be an exciting step, because you now want to stay together for a longer period of time and build a future together.
The transition to a serious relationship often involves discussing future plans. You talk about what you expect from the relationship and what your goals are on both a personal and collective level. You make agreements about how you want to shape the relationship and how you want to tackle any challenges.
Also read: 84+ Tough Questions and Topics for Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
How do I get into a serious relationship?
Good point. So there are plenty of ways to do that. You might meet the right one while hustling at a festival, working up a sweat at the gym, or when you’re both passionate about a craft hobby. And then those matchmakers in your group of friends, who invite you and your potential love for a drink together. It seems that many love bloomers also find each other in the workplace.
Has Cupid lost his arrows in your area? No stress. The wonderful online world is open to you. Where online dating used to be like dropping your socks in soup, it is now cool to share your digital love story. Aren’t you waiting for unsolicited messages where ‘good morning’ has been replaced by ‘looking forward to…’? Then it is wise to join a dating app that takes a serious tone. There you will find – with a few swipes and clicks – people who want to sing the same song as you: strolling through the park together hand in hand, ‘forever and ever’ and more.
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