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Imagine: butterflies in your stomach, the first loving glances have been exchanged and you are almost walking on clouds. The beginning of a new relationship is like a blank book full of possibilities, but before you open chapter one together, there are important questions to ask yourself and each other. Because let’s be honest, a good foundation is essential for a solid love building.
Just as a carpenter chooses his tools, you select the questions that will determine the foundation of your future relationship. Think about expectations, values, dreams and deal breakers . By gauging where you stand now, you increase the chance of a relationship where both hearts not only beat faster, but also work together in harmony. And isn’t that exactly what you want to achieve?
1. Check your own feelings
Think about what you really feel. Sometimes you confuse the butterflies with a deep connection. Ask yourself if you are really ready for a relationship with this person, or if you still have doubts. It is important to be honest about your own emotions before taking deeper steps together.
- How do I feel about this person?
- Do I see myself staying with this person for a long time?
- Do I really want a relationship with this person?
Also read: Serious Relationship? What It Is, What It Isn’t and How to Find It
2. Talk about exclusivity
Exclusivity is a key word in the world of relationships. Talk about whether you both feel the same way. Do you want the two of you to only date each other or are you open to a more open relationship? It is essential that you are on the same page about this to avoid misunderstandings.
- What does exclusivity mean to you?
- Do you see other relationships as a threat to ours?
- How would we let others know that we are in an exclusive relationship?
3. Discuss future plans
Future plans can be exciting, but also a source of stress if you don’t want to move in the same direction. Talk about your ambitions, your dreams and ask what the other person expects from life. It is important to know whether your vision of the future is consistent or whether there is room for compromise.
4. What does the other person think about relationships?
Each person has their own ideas and experiences with relationships. Ask what your potential partner thinks about things like trust, loyalty and spending time together. Insight into each other’s vision on relationships helps to lay a solid foundation for you together.
5. Share your beliefs
Values ​​and norms are the invisible threads that bind us. Whether it concerns religion, politics or ethics, it is important that you know if you are on the same page. Sharing your beliefs offers a window into how you see the world and can find or respect each other in it.
6. Get to know each other’s family and friends
Family and friends are the mirrors of the soul, they tell you a lot about your future partner. Meeting them will give you a broader picture of the person you might be dating. Go to a family barbecue together or meet up for drinks with friends, and feel yourself moving in their circles.
- How does your partner talk about his or her family and friends?
- What kind of relationships does your partner have with them?
- Are there traditions or customs that are important to your partner?
7. Find out how the other person handles money
Money matters can play a major role in a relationship and it is important to know how your future partner handles finances . Is there openness about income, debts, and expenditure patterns? Talking about your financial values ​​and goals can say a lot about your long-term compatibility.
8. Discover each other’s hobbies and interests
Shared interests often form a good basis, but there must also be differences. What fascinates your partner and what does he or she spend free time on? Find out if there are hobbies you can do together or support each other in individual passions. This way you learn a lot about each other and it strengthens your bond.
Also read: 84+ Tough Questions and Topics for Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
9. Talk about work and career
Work is an important part of someone’s life. They influence where and how you live, so discuss your professional ambitions and requirements. Understanding each other’s work schedules and aspirations helps to avoid disappointments and misunderstandings in the future.
10. Discuss wanting to have children and raising children
The desire for children and ideas about parenting can be real deal breakers. Have you already talked about your vision, and how do you see the division of roles around the family? It is fundamental that you agree on this life-changing aspect or at least find a compromise.
11. Explore each other’s needs in intimacy
Intimacy is the glue that often holds a relationship together, but what does it mean for you and your partner? It is important that you discuss openly how you feel about physical but also emotional intimacy. You can talk about things like hugging , kissing, and joint routines that bring you closer together. Don’t forget to ask for and share what you need to feel safe and loved.
12. Exchange ideas about living and living together
Do you both dream of a house in the city, or perhaps a farmhouse in the countryside? When you talk about living together, throw all the cards on the table. Discuss not only the type of home, but also the division of household tasks and how you want to furnish the living space together. Don’t forget to talk about personal spaces either, because everyone needs time for themselves every now and then.
13. Take stock of how to deal with conflicts
Every relationship has its storms and how you weather them can be decisive. How do you deal with differences of opinion and what do you think is absolutely unacceptable in a conflict? A calm discussion or a serious argument: it is important to explore this at an early stage. Respectful communication must be central, so that if there is a storm, you know that you will come out stronger together.
14. Find out what common values ​​you share
Shared values ​​are the hidden pillars of a relationship . Talk about principles and ideals that you find important, both inside and outside a relationship. These could be things such as honesty, trust, or being socially involved. These common values ​​often form the basis for a deep connection in the long term.
15. Discussion about pets and responsibilities
Pets can be a source of joy, but also a source of stress if not everyone is equally enthusiastic. Discuss whether you love animals, who will care for them and how you see the responsibilities. Also consider future planning and any lifestyle changes that pets may bring.
16. Ask about expectations from the relationship
What do you hope this relationship brings you? It is essential to know what you expect from each other to avoid disappointments. Are they mainly adventures that you want to experience together or are you looking for a partner to settle down with ? Frank conversations about this lay a foundation for a shared future.
17. Discuss how you spend time
Time is our most precious asset. How do you deal with that in a relationship? Do you think it is important to be together a lot or do you value individual freedom and time apart? By talking about this together, you will discover whether your time use is aligned and you can avoid misunderstandings.
- Spending time together
- Individual hobbies and interests
- Balance between together and alone
18. Check each other’s health and lifestyle
Your health and lifestyle have a major impact on your relationship. Are you a sports fanatic or bon vivant? Do you smoke, do you drink, and how important is healthy food to you? These aspects can influence the harmony within your relationship, so it is good to know where the other person stands in this area.
19. Ask about past relationships and lessons
The stories about past loves can tell a lot. What were the learning moments and how do those experiences influence what someone is looking for now? Listen without judging and try to gain insights from these stories about how your potential partner loves and lives.
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