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I remember so well when one of my best friends suffered a burnout. She was 27 and she couldn’t take it anymore, I was crying to her on the phone. And of course I felt very sorry for her, because I could really see that things weren’t going well for her, but I also thought: “You’re 27, you’re way too young for this, let’s just persevere”!
Luckily I only thought it at the time and didn’t actually say it to her. Because persevering and putting her shoulders to the wheel, she had of course done that for far too long and that was the reason she was now burned out.
But if you have never been stressed, depressed or burned out, it is so difficult to imagine how someone else feels at that moment. When I subsequently suffered a burn-out after her burn-out, she was there for me. She was the one who really understood me and who I could call crying when I was at my wits’ end. While other friends didn’t always understand.
For example, some people were sometimes quite annoyed when I canceled another appointment because I simply couldn’t do it anymore. Others found it difficult to understand why it took so long. And I could imagine that well, because I didn’t really understand my girlfriend who had a burnout at the time. But even though I could imagine it, it still hurt me. That’s why I’m now writing down the things I will never say when someone is stressed or has a burnout or depression.
1. “But yes, if I were to sit at home all day and do nothing, I would also get tired.”
So you have a burnout, you have completely pushed your limits for years. You have tackled everything and tried very hard to do everything as best as possible and then you collapse. You are extremely tired, both physically and mentally. And you really need to refuel, sometimes this can take quite a long time (especially if you are so restless that you cannot sleep well at night). So you may sleep a lot in the beginning and be happy when you have walked a lap for 5 minutes. This will pass on its own, but your body apparently needs this rest.
And then you meet someone while you are walking around and they say: “Yes, but yes, if you do nothing all day, we will all become lethargic and tired…”. Then your clog will break, won’t it? You want nothing more than to just do things and then someone gives this ‘advice’, which is not nice.
ALSO READ: 4 Reasons To Indicate Your Limits
2. “It’s taking a long time now, isn’t it? Once you get back into your ‘normal’ rhythm, you’ll be back to your old self in no time.”
Yes, it takes quite a long time to get energy again when you’re completely burned out. And I want nothing more than to get back into my normal rhythm, but I’m feeling burned out. And I have to build up that ‘normal’ rhythm very slowly. Because it is precisely the pitfall of many people who have had a burnout that they start doing things again too quickly because things are going better for a while. And that is precisely why they fall back very hard. One of the most difficult things in recovery is dosing your energy when things finally get a little better.
ALSO READ: My Journey to Recovery: How I Ultimately Overcame Burnout
3. “Just go to bed early for a few days”
Oh thanks for the great tip!!! I would never have thought of that myself. And then that word ‘normal’, at a certain point I really couldn’t hear it anymore. Just go to bed on time for a few days and then all the misery will be over… When someone says this you feel so misunderstood, because if only it were that easy.
4. “I can imagine it very well, I also had trouble sleeping for a while myself”
Another killer. Because someone with a burnout is a huge go-getter and has probably slept poorly for months or years before he or she collapsed. And the sentence often follows: “If I sleep less well, I can also have less, that is just completely normal”.
ALSO READ: Overcoming Burnout: How to Rebuild Confidence in Your Recovery Journey
5. “It’s in your head, just do fun things and it will pass automatically”
Also such a nice tip and a nice observation. A burnout won’t go away if you just start doing fun things. When you have a burnout, you are exhausted, you should not even think about going into town, having a drink, having coffee, shopping, going to a festival or whatever people mean by fun. to do things. You are much too tired for that. If only it were that easy, it would save a lot of hassle.
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