Share This Article
“Amaa, can you…?” “Amaa would you..?” ‘Amaa, you are so good at…’ Naturally! No problem. Come on, I’d love to do it. Nothing is too much, I like to help my fellow man to make things easier and more fun. Okay, the fact that I don’t have to face confrontation and therefore it remains pleasant in the workplace is also a bonus.
At least, I did. For years I put myself at the service of other people because I thought that was the way it should be. If you can help, you will. Until I realized that ‘helping’ was at my own expense. It crept in, that nagging feeling that I didn’t feel appreciated while I was doing my best for others.
I never actually asked for help myself. Once I burned out I had to. Surprisingly often I was told ‘no’, wrapped in beautiful words. Well damn… what do we get now?! After going through the five stages of grief, I came to the conclusion that I did not have to feel this way and I learned (still learning by the way) how to set my boundaries. We have written articles on this subject on gistinger.com. Today I would like to share with you why we do this. The ‘why’ is in what it gives you. These are the most important lessons I learned when I started setting my boundaries.
Also Read: 10 signs that you are heading for a burnout
1. People still like you when you don’t always say yes.
One of my biggest motivations was the need to be liked. Especially people who are highly sensitive can sense when someone likes you less. The tension can be unbearable for you. So it’s not surprising that you go out of your way in survival mode to be liked. Not long after my I-don’t-let-me-get-it attitude, I came to a miraculous conclusion. People still find you just as nice (or unnice) when you say ‘no’.
2. Less stress gives more energy
When you take on less stress, stress also decreases. It is of course important that you know which tasks or situations cause you stress. Choose not to do these anymore and you will no longer have the previous frustrations. To be fair, a person who is just starting to set boundaries will regularly take a stand with curled toes and clenched fists, which in turn is also quite stressful.
Don’t worry; that is slowly decreasing. As with all things we learn, it takes time before we can do anything. Slowly the stress decreases and it gives you a liberating and energetic feeling. The things that were too much for you before are no longer there. This means that you have this time and energy left over. Maybe for a walk in the evening? Bye Bye stress.
3. You can work more effectively
Only take on things to which you know you can make a valuable contribution. I mean, if Pietje from the marketing department can better conclude whether blue cakes are a gap in the market, you better choose to indicate that honestly. Instead, you can put the time and energy into the work that you are good at.
Also Read: My Journey to Recovery: How I Ultimately Overcame Burnout
4. You like your work and colleagues more
Now that you work more effectively with more energy and less stress, you are happier and able to communicate more socially with others. Suddenly you remember what you love about your work and you appreciate the lame jokes of that colleague to your left. The previous criticism that made you so angry and feel undervalued can now be seen as constructive feedback that contributes to improving your work. It makes sense that you enjoy going to work more and that your colleagues also seem to be a lot nicer.
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook and Instagram?
