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Is your marriage not going so well lately? Are you afraid that you are moving more and more towards divorce? It happens to thousands of couples every year who have the same questions. And of course that is never nice, especially when you are not at all ready to put an end to it.
Sometimes it can be very difficult to determine whether you are just in a slump , or whether your marriage is in serious danger. Can it still be saved ? Or has the time come to throw in the towel? These are 9 signs that your marriage is coming to an end.
1. Sex life is on the back burner
It may of course be the case that you never had a wild sex life, but if it becomes significantly less, this is often not a good sign. For most people, sex is an important part of a relationship that allows you to express your feelings to your partner. It’s also an important way to keep your emotional and physical bond strong.
Research has shown that you still have a ‘sexual afterglow’ about two days after the act. In the longer term, this will ensure that you feel satisfied and happy together. But if you don’t have sex, you don’t experience that.
2. Lots of complaining and whining
If your partner complains and whines a lot , the marriage will certainly not become more pleasant. Of course, this can also be the other way around, so you notice that you complain and whine a lot. It is then important to ask yourself where this comes from and whether you are still happy.
Of course, there could really be something going on, but it could also be that you are very negative towards each other. You are then constantly looking for something you don’t like so that you have something to complain about. In addition, this can also lead to annoyances within the relationship .
3. Stop arguing altogether
This is the other extreme: stop arguing . It can be a bad sign, especially when it comes to things that you normally argue about a lot and that you no longer make a fuss about. There is no more strength to fight for the problems. And you’ve actually already given up a bit.
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4. Sleep separately
A classic example of a marriage that is about to collapse: no longer sleeping together. Sleeping together creates intimacy, even if you don’t even have sex often . You choose marriage and therefore also to share your life – and therefore also your bed – with your partner. If this foundation no longer exists, it may indicate a serious problem within your marriage. If you don’t work on that foundation, you can become increasingly distant from each other. And then it won’t be long before the marriage falls apart.
5. Not making joint plans
Even when you are married, it is important that you continue to do something fun together regularly . This way you prevent yourself from getting into a rut. This can be something very small, such as making plans for the weekend, but it can also be bigger things such as making plans for a big trip or a renovation to your home. If you don’t do this at all and therefore no longer make plans for the future together, you are in trouble.
There could be several reasons why this happens. Maybe you don’t feel like bringing it up anymore because your partner doesn’t like all your ideas. Or maybe you just don’t feel like continuing to build your future together. However, these small activities can keep the marriage going.
6. ‘We’ has become ‘I’
Did you always talk in the ‘we’ form at first and do you notice that you suddenly no longer do that? That is not a good sign, as you probably understand. If you used to always make plans together and now suddenly do almost everything separately, it seems as if you have already started living alone. As a kind of advance on the future.
Do you see the other person as a separate person, or do you still see your partner as your other half? This change can be so subtle that you may not even notice it. But the damage of this change can be very great. So pay attention to how you talk about each other.
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7. Constant tension
When you feel constant tension in the relationship, this is of course not a good sign. Maybe you think that things are just not going well for a while and that things will get better on their own? When there is a lot of tension, this does not necessarily mean that you argue a lot. But it is still up in the air.
Sometimes it’s better to just say what you want to say. The tension can get in the way of your happiness and make the bond much less strong. So talk about it with each other if you notice that the tension is causing marital problems .
8. It’s “just” a feeling
Sometimes there doesn’t have to be a deep reason why you think things are not going well in your marriage. It could also just be a feeling. Of course, your marriage will change over the years, but if you suddenly realize that you are not happy with this change or that things are not quite right, it can be quite annoying.
If you have the feeling that your marriage is not going well, then that is often the case. Once again, it is important that you talk about it with your partner and that you look together at how you can improve and solve this , so that you can get the marriage back on track.
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