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In a perfect world, we would all have the best conversations on dating apps. Every message that lands in our inbox is thoughtful, intelligent, and funny. Conversations don’t fizzle out after three messages, they inspire, excite your senses, and give you a glimpse of a happy future. But alas… that’s not how it works.
The reality? Women get the craziest messages in their inbox. Proposals that can’t stand the light of day, tactless compliments and blunt remarks. Luckily, there are also nice men who do have manners, but can’t get past a “hi” or “how are you?” Most men have no idea what to say to a woman on a dating app.
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9 Phrases You Should NEVER Use as an Opening Line
Women long for a man who can get them excited to start a conversation with just one sentence. The reality is that this rarely happens. The messages they receive do not arouse any interest, they arouse disinterest. These are perfect examples of messages that men should not send.
1. “You are delicious”
Any variation of this personal compliment is too personal. How do you think she’ll react to a first message from a guy she’s never met or spoken to? Do you really think she’ll think, “Wow, what a sweet guy”? Women love to be complimented on their appearance and hear how hot they are. But not from a complete stranger. A woman’s real reaction to a message like this? “Wow, hopeless.”
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2. “Nice legs, what time do they open?”
Very funny, but unwanted. All the sexual innuendos and bad pick-up lines you’ve ever heard at a birthday party (with only men) are some of the worst choices you can make. Do you really expect a response like: “They’re opening at 10pm, are you coming over tonight?” In reality, they hate men like you. They even have a word for it: creep.
3. “Hope to hear from you.”
The first message isn’t a polite email you send to a client or a nephew you haven’t spoken to in years. You’re sending it to a woman looking for a man. How do you hope she’ll respond? “I’ll text him soon because he really has hope for us.” What she’s really thinking is, “Great, another desperate man.”
4. “What do you do for work?”
…while she states loud and clear in her profile that she is a nurse in the ICU. Do you really think it helps that you don’t read her profile? According to women, it is an unforgivable turn-off that you didn’t even bother to read her profile.
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5. “Hey, how are you?”
Every day, hundreds of men compete in women’s message lists. Each and every one of them tries to get as many responses as possible. So after much deliberation, thinking long and hard about what to say, and pondering the alternatives, they come up with the irresistible first message: “Hey, how are you?” And then they wonder why they get so few responses to their messages.
Do you really think she’s thinking, “What nice men here, they’re all asking how I’m doing”? For women, this is 21st century spam , even worse than the pop-up. A woman’s real reaction to an “I’m okay” message? “That’s enough for today. I’m going to bed.”
6. “Do you have time tonight?”
Hey, it’s Tinder. Isn’t everyone looking for one-night stands ? Not quite. And even if they were, there are very few women who want to meet up right away . It suggests you want sex. Tonight. There’s a less than 1% chance of getting straight to the point in your very first message and her going along with it. Unless you have the looks of a supermodel, this is almost a guarantee for a match that will suddenly disappear .
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7. “…Why aren’t you responding?”
If she doesn’t respond the first time, she’s not interested enough. Or she’s engaged in a fascinating conversation with a man who makes her heart beat faster. If she still doesn’t respond to your second message, she’s still not interested. But if she receives your third message and doesn’t respond to that either? Throw in the towel.
Of all the messages you can send when you don’t get a response, “Why aren’t you responding?” is probably the worst. She’s not thinking, “How sweet of him to remind me, I might as well respond now.” She’s thinking, “Sh*t, how desperate.”
8. “Why are you still single?”
If there’s one question that single women are sick and tired of , it’s this one. Women don’t want to answer this question at all. Do you really expect a response like, “Because I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.”? In fact, they hate this question. It implies that there’s something wrong with her. At best, you’ll get a sarcastic response.
9. “Why did you swipe right on me?”
We all love an ego boost. We all want to know what other people think of us. But the first message? If you want to come across as a narcissistic man , here’s how to do it. She’s not thinking, “Wow, he’s so interested.” She’s thinking, “Wow, what an egomaniac.” Don’t fish for compliments. It makes you seem narcissistic, or insecure about yourself.
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