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Everyone knows that you shouldn’t play games when dating. At least, that’s what everyone hopes. Because feelings are at stake. But that doesn’t stop anyone from doing it anyway.
It may be something you did when you were younger, like playing hard to get in a last ditch effort to win over a secret crush. But now that you’re a grown man or woman, you may feel that playing dating games isn’t for you. Yet, you may be doing it completely unconsciously.
9 Dating Games You’re Unconsciously Playing
We all do little things that we think will make us cooler or more attractive. For example, you may never respond to texts right away or you may act like you’re always “busy.” Behaviors and actions that you fake, but never think about. It’s important to be aware of this, because it could easily drive your perfect match away. And that’s not what you want. Here are 9 games you probably didn’t even know you were playing.
1. You try to appear disinterested
You wait a few minutes before responding to a text from someone. You don’t answer a call on the first ring. You don’t like every photo they post . There are countless ways you can try to appear disinterested or less interested. While you don’t want to seem obsessed, it’s never a good idea to make someone think you don’t find them interesting.
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2. You want to remain mysterious
Do you find it difficult to share personal things with someone you don’t know well? Or do you have no problem with it, but want to maintain a certain degree of mystery? In the latter case, you are playing a dating game, because you are deliberately not showing the back of your tongue. The danger is that you will scare off singles who want to feel a deeper connection before they agree to a date. And that is difficult if you do not make the other person (that is, you) open and vulnerable.
3. You pretend to love being single
Sure, you’re single and fabulous . But do you really love being single? Of course you are and you should definitely let others know. But if you really want to find a partner, don’t pretend that you love being single . There’s nothing wrong with being single, but pretending to be single gives the wrong impression. People won’t want to be in a relationship with you if you give the impression that you’d rather be alone.
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4. You date multiple people at the same time
You may not think there’s anything wrong with dating multiple people at once. After all, you’re not in a relationship with any of them, so what’s it to them? But if you read between the lines, there’s a deeper meaning to every date. Be honest with yourself: you’re playing games. You’re dating multiple people to see who you like enough to date exclusively. You’re testing them out, and that’s not cool .
5. You investigate instead of asking questions
Remember, you are not a detective. Don’t spend hours researching a potential date or partner online. You should be asking them questions. Are you curious about their past relationships or partners? Ask them. Don’t spend hours scrolling through their Instagram or Facebook profile. By playing this game, you’ll draw the wrong conclusions.
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6. You try to make them jealous
Do you post sexy pictures of yourself on Instagram? Or do you put pictures in your Instagram Stories where you are surrounded by beautiful men or women? You are trying to make your date jealous by making it seem like you are in high demand. Like you are desired. It can work, but you don’t want to start a relationship with manipulation, do you? Because that’s what it is. Besides, someone has to like you for who you are and not just to be able to ‘win’ against other potential dates.
7. You send messages that you didn’t write yourself
Stop sending texts that you copied straight out of an e-book of seduction. Or that your friends wrote. It makes sense to ask your friends for advice on possible dates and to let them advise you. It doesn’t mean that they should write texts for you. The messages you send should be your own words.
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8. You use sex as a reward
It’s your body and it’s your choice who you share it with. But your body is not a reward for good behavior. That said, sex is not a game. So don’t use sex as a prize your date can win if they want to commit to you. When people see a challenge, sometimes that’s all they see. Sex is a beautiful thing you can share with someone, not a stake in a dating game.
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9. You keep them on a string
You are not genuinely interested in someone, but you do give them a little bit of attention. You flirt a little, sometimes you send a hot text. You leave breadcrumbs, but you leave out the tasty bread. And those breadcrumbs are just enough to make the other person hope for more. It keeps your date connected to you and addicted to your attention. You keep them hanging until the day you no longer need a backup. Then they are suddenly redundant and no longer worthy of your attention.
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