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Men… sometimes it seems like they come from another planet. As if they are doing everything they can to not listen to you. That’s why they say that it’s best to tell your biggest secrets to your husband, because he won’t listen anyway. And then he can’t tell anyone else about it.
Men have a mysterious superpower where they can look at you while you’re talking to them without actually listening to you. But it’s a pretty nasty superpower . Because as women we not only want men to hear us, but also to listen.
Why do men listen so poorly?
Men and women, even though their ears are built the same, listen to their partner in different ways. The woman uses both sides of her brain, while the man only actively uses one side when he listens. And that is why, dear women, we keep looking for ways to make a man listen to us when we talk to him.
In addition, there are of course dozens of other reasons why he doesn’t listen when you say something to him. In general, men are more action-oriented listeners. They focus more on things that have just happened and what is related to them. And sometimes they just find it easy to pretend that they don’t hear something, so that they don’t have to do a certain job.
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7 Ways to Make Him Listen
Do you want to be heard and understood? Do you want him to take action after hearing you out? And do you want him to just listen to you? Fortunately, there are a few simple tricks to get a man to listen to you. These are 7 ways to make sure your man listens to you.
1. Tell him you love him first
If you find it annoying that your man doesn’t listen to you, then you need to make sure that he also finds it important to listen to you. For example, before you communicate with him, you can first tell him how much you love and appreciate him. This makes him feel appreciated, which makes him more likely to listen to you.
2. Choose the right time to say something
Tell a whole story while he’s busy doing something else? Not the right time. Because you don’t like that the other way around either. He will probably pretend to listen, so as not to be the unreachable man , but of course that doesn’t help either.
Complaining about that annoying colleague while you are shopping or on a birthday? It’s not the time to bring it up. Just do this when there are two of you. So choose the right time and the right place to tell your man something, and the chance that he will listen attentively is a lot greater.
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3. Be clear with your expectations
Of course, men can’t read minds, just like women can’t, so don’t expect this from him either. Be very clear and descriptive about the problem and more importantly what you expect from him. You can of course say in advance that you would like him to listen to you carefully because you have something important to say.
If you just want to vent or express your frustrations, feel free to say so. Then immediately tell him that he just needs to listen, that’s all. And that you don’t expect him to come up with the solution to your problem. This way he is immediately reassured, he does not have to think about a solution and he can listen carefully to you.
4. Let him decide when he wants to talk
If you want to talk about something important, tell your husband, but let him decide when to talk about it. When he is ready and has time to listen to you, he can come to you quietly. Continuing to whine doesn’t work . Because he chooses the time and knows that you will be talking to each other, he will also pay full attention to you and therefore listen carefully.
5. Stick to the important topic
Keep in mind that your man probably doesn’t have a great attention span. So don’t tell all the details that don’t matter, and then throw in something important. He will listen better if you make it clear what you want to talk about and what the exact topic is. If you start talking about other things in between, he will be less able to keep his thoughts.
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6. Pay attention to his body language
It helps in any conversation to talk to him in a calm manner, while sitting close to him. The chance that he will listen carefully to you is then a lot greater. Also pay attention to his body language. If he’s not looking at you or is turned away from you, he’s probably less likely to listen to you. So wait until you have his full attention, and then start the conversation.
7. Listen to him too
As much as you want your man to listen to you, he also likes it when you listen carefully to him. Then take him seriously when he talks to you. Ask questions, act interested and listen to him the way you would want him to listen to you. If you do this to him, he will be more likely to do this to you.
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