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You love each other and care so much about the other, but the relationship is not going as smoothly as you would expect. Maybe you argue with your partner every day or you can’t agree on anything. The frustrations keep taking over the good moments and eventually it becomes a bit too much. In such situations you may start to wonder whether you are suitable for each other. In other words: are you a good match?
7 signs you’re not right for each other
It can be painful to ask or answer this question, but sometimes looking for the answer is the best choice. For example, if you have the same interests but not the same values, it might be time to ask that scary question: “Are we right for each other?” To help you on your way, we give you seven signs that you are not suitable for each other.
1. You can’t be yourself
Especially with your partner, you should be able to be completely yourself and feel comfortable. This may be the person you will be with for the rest of your life. The last thing you want is to be afraid to show yourself for years. If you feel uncomfortable with your partner when you are completely yourself, it is a sign that you are not compatible.
Hiding your true emotions to avoid discussions is also a sign of this. You need to be open about who you are and how you feel. This is the case with friendships, but also with relationships. If you can only make the other person happy by pretending to be different, you are not a match. And then it is very smart to talk about it with each other.
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2. You have no common interests
When we look at why people fit together, we often look at similarities, such as shared interests. If you both enjoy running or have a passion for dogs, you are more likely to be a match. But if you don’t have common interests, are you a good fit for each other? Of course, you don’t have to have only the same hobbies and passions, but it’s better if some of them match.
If you don’t share any interests with your partner, all the time you spend on them will be spent on yourself or other people. Ultimately, this can leave you with little time to spend with your partner. Or that you encounter misunderstandings from your partner. Space is good, but too much space can cause problems and friction.
3. Neither of you gives in
Two stubborn people in one relationship can quickly cause a clash. If neither of you wants to be the better person, apologize first, or admit when you’re wrong, then this is likely to cause major arguments over time. Look at your own relationship and the arguments you have . Are you both stubborn by nature? Maybe that’s why the relationship is going sour.
Do you want to work on it or is there little chance that this will change? These are all important questions to ask in this case. If this is not resolved, more arguments are bound to happen and it is better to resolve this now rather than wait for it.
4. You wait for the other person to change
When you hope that your partner will change , that is actually a clear sign that you are not suitable for each other. To be a good match, you must be able to accept each other. This also includes the parts of your partner that you do not fully agree with.
Of course you can give someone a push in the right direction. But if you really push each other to change, things go wrong. If a habit of your partner continues to irritate you , then it is time to consider whether you are suitable for each other. It is difficult to be honest about this, but it is important.
ALSO READ: 60 Signs of a Harmful Relationship
5. You don’t have the same sexual needs
You can love each other all you want, but if you are not on the same page when it comes to sexual needs, this is bound to cause a clash in the long term. If one person needs sex more often , but the other does not, that person may feel pressure to go along with the other. This pressure can turn into stress and ultimately cause arguments and tension.
In general, men have a higher sex drive than women. That in itself is not a problem if there is some form of acceptance on both sides. If this isn’t there, the person with the greater need may end up looking for it outside the relationship. It goes without saying that cheating is completely bad for a relationship. In short, does this sound recognizable? Then start a conversation about it with your partner.
6. Your lives are out of sync
Would you like to go to the house as quickly as possible, while your partner still wants to continue partying? Or do you want to commit to a future and your partner would rather live day to day? Or does one of you have a lot of free time and the other has a busy agenda? Then it comes down to the fact that your lives do not match. And sooner or later (sooner) this will cause problems.
Suppose your partner is the one with little free time. It is difficult for that person to make time for you. Ultimately, this can cause you to blame your partner or feel ignored. Understandable, because it may feel to you as if they never want to make time for you. For your partner it can be experienced as extra pressure. They may feel stressed about meeting more with you, while this is difficult due to the busy schedule.
7. The relationship is not given the same priority
It’s important to have a life outside of a relationship. This way you ensure that everyone has enough space and you don’t crowd each other too much. Too much space, on the other hand, is not good. If you notice that someone has completely different priorities and that the relationship is getting lower and lower on that list, then it may be time to find out to what extent the relationship is still wanted.
Yes, that is a painful question to ask, but in such a case it is smart to do so; both parties must be willing to invest time to make a relationship work. When you and your partner want to make the relationship a higher priority again, that’s a good sign. If someone doesn’t want that, it’s a sign that you might not be compatible after all.
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