Share This Article
It doesn’t take long before you discover that your friend is quite possessive and although you could laugh about it at first, the fun has now worn off. That cute, jealous feeling that came off at the beginning has even become a burden: your boyfriend is possessive and that bothers you. After all, you are no one’s property.
Maybe it feels like he is controlling you and worse, your friends and family are starting to notice. They are even asking you to do something about it before it gets worse. Therefore, you need to decide for yourself whether the way your boyfriend is behaving is acceptable and whether it will jeopardize a long-term relationship.
Because if this continues, you may even have to think about very drastic decisions. It is a strong sign of a serious problem . We tell you what the characteristics of a possessive friend are and how to deal with them.
ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive
What is a possessive man?
A possessive boyfriend constantly wants control and even manipulates you into doing the things he wants. He doesn’t take your feelings into account. This is often because he is insecure and wants to control you to compensate. If your boyfriend is possessive, you should be aware that this behavior is really unacceptable.
You are not an object that can be owned by anyone. You are not a child who can be belittled if you don’t do the things he wants. If his possessiveness has crossed a certain line in the form of stalking and even physical or emotional violence , for example, end this relationship immediately. You deserve better.
ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side
7 Signs You Have a Possessive Boyfriend
If for whatever reason it’s not immediately obvious whether you have a possessive boyfriend or not, check out the following 7 signs. This way you can decide for yourself whether there is room for a solution or whether you simply need to put an end to the relationship.
1. He secretly reads your phone messages
You come out of the bathroom and see your boyfriend scrolling through your phone. When you ask him what he’s doing, he feels caught red-handed. Turns out, he was looking for evidence that you’re seeing other men. And while this isn’t an uncommon example, it’s ridiculous. If he doesn’t trust you, that’s a reason for you not to trust him.
What should you do?
You need to start talking about this invasion of your privacy. Tell him to respect your privacy. Trust is crucial in any healthy relationship .
2. He hates it when you spend time with friends
He complains about you spending time with friends, even your female friends. He is jealous of the time you spend away from him and it is driving you crazy. After all, you are an independent woman who has her own social contacts.
ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things
What should you do?
Tell him that if he wants to be with you, he must also allow you to live your own life. Encourage him to spend time with his own friends. Happy couples also spend enough time with their own contacts. Being in love doesn’t have to mean spending every minute together.
3. He goes crazy when you interact with another man
The delivery guy. The coffee shop barista. Even the guy next door. It doesn’t matter who the guy is, your boyfriend will go completely nuts if you talk to another guy for a few minutes. He’s as insecure as can be, because you’re not doing anything wrong.
What should you do?
If you talk very often with your divine neighbor who always stands in the garden with his torso off, then it is not so strange that he is sometimes a bit jealous, but if it is with any random man, then this behavior is really deeply ingrained in him. Maybe you better say goodbye to him. This is unhealthy .
ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’
4. He often ‘coincidentally’ shows up wherever you are
You leave a restaurant with your colleagues, and suddenly there is your friend — who just ‘coincidentally’ was nearby. Or if you’re going to meet an old (male) college friend, your boyfriend is close by all the time. It really has to do with stalking behavior.
What should you do?
Leave him. This is nothing but stalking .
5. He claims all your time
No matter how much time you spend with this man, he always wants more from you. He wants to spend every spare moment with you, while you have your own hobbies, interests, and circle of friends. You simply can’t spend all your free time on him.
What should you do?
It’s cute that he only wants to be with you, but that’s not how reality works. Explain that to him and encourage him to spend more time with his friends and pick up his hobbies again.
6. He makes sure everyone knows you are ‘his’
You are at a party somewhere with your boyfriend, chatting with some (male) friends, when you suddenly feel his hand snake around your waist and he pulls you closer. It feels like he’s marking his territory and you don’t exactly like that.
What should you do?
Tell him that you don’t think this is possible and ask him why he is doing this. Ask him emphatically not to do this again in the future.
ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates
7. He gets angry when things don’t go his way
He explodes if you have to cancel your plans due to force majeure, he also explodes if you are on the phone with someone else and he always wants you to be at his disposal. Do you say ‘no’ to something? Then he experiences that as an insult and he gets furious.
What should you do?
His anger is a precursor to a toxic relationship . Talking may not even work in this situation and it could end badly (think physical violence). Do you feel unsafe? Slam the door and never return.
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?