60 Signs of a Harmful Relationship

In a healthy relationship you feel involved, safe and an equal partner. Of course you may disagree or encounter bumps in the road from time to time, but you will tackle these obstacles together. You genuinely enjoy each other’s company and openly discuss any issues that arise.

The person you are with enriches you or your life. There is mutual respect, emotional intimacy and conflicts are resolved in an honest way. But those core values ​​are not present in every relationship. And then it can happen that a relationship becomes harmful.

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Relationships can be harmful

Relationships consist of behavior. That behavior can be healthy, unhealthy and in the worst case even harmful. Whether you call it a toxic relationship or a toxic relationship , it usually comes down to the same thing: they leave you feeling empty, exhausted, and desperate. Even though you still love your partner, the relationship no longer feels comfortable at all. For some reason you can’t seem to stop arguing about the smallest issues that shouldn’t really be issues.

According to research, these relationships can actually harm your body. One of the examples is a study into the Body Mass Index of women, which shows that unhealthy behavioral patterns in relationships lead to a higher BMI – a higher BMI is unhealthier for the body. And this is just one example of the many studies showing that unhealthy relationships can be harmful both physically and mentally.

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60 signs of a harmful relationship

Over the years, scientists, psychologists and relationship therapists have conducted hundreds of studies and based on them, created scientific models that tell which behavioral patterns are good for a relationship and which are not. Based on these studies, we’ve created a list of 60 signs that it’s a harmful relationship. Many healthy relationships can exhibit one or a number of “toxic” signs, but the more signs you recognize, the more harmful the relationship is.

1. Your partner mocks you publicly – possibly with sarcasm.
2. Your partner ignores your emotions .
3. Your partner belittles the successes you have.
4. You feel unable to confide in your partner.
5. Your partner jokes about breaking up.
6. You wouldn’t know how you positively influence each other.
7. You bring out the worst in each other.
8. You influence each other to engage in harmful habits – for example, drug use, inactivity and excessive alcohol consumption.
9. Your partner criticizes your appearance or body.
10. You have no sense of stability because the relationship has (almost) ended repeatedly.
11. You do things that you are ashamed of afterwards – for example shouting at each other in front of the children.
12. Your partner involves you in unethical or criminal activities.
13. You slowly start to accept what was not acceptable before.
14. You can’t do anything right in your partner’s eyes.
15. You feel worse about yourself than when you started the relationship.
16. You have become less self-confident during the relationship.
17. You see fewer and fewer positive qualities in yourself.
18. You won’t get your partner’s attention if you want to talk about something important.
19. Your partner teases you about the possibility of cheating.
20. Your partner always wants things to go his or her way.
21. Your partner regularly implies that you are stupid.
22. You’re not sure how reliable or supportive your partner would be in a situation where you really need him or her.
23. You never talk about important relationship topics.
24. You don’t think your partner would be a good parent .
25. Sometimes you would rather work late than be at home with your partner.
26. Your lives have become a mess because of everything that has happened.
27. You don’t feel like you’re a team.
28. You catch your partner gaslighting .
29. You turn first to other people for emotional support.
30. Your partner tries to isolate you from your support network of friends and family.
31. Your partner feels superior in the relationship.
32. Your partner tries to stop you from trying something new because “you can’t do it anyway.”
33. You feel guilty about how your partner feels.
34. Your partner doesn’t respect your ‘no’.
35. You no longer trust your partner.
36. You can’t see a way out of the relationship.
37. You feel that there is always a hostile atmosphere in the relationship.
38. Your partner indicates that you are only valued for one thing – for example sex, appearance or money.
39. Your partner is great at negative surprises.
40. You constantly catch your partner in lies.
41. Your partner is always distant.
42. Your partner goes out but doesn’t tell you where, with whom or doesn’t come home.
43. You worry that your partner will use physical violence.
44. You feel like the relationship is suffocating.
45. You blame your partner for the fact that your life is not as fulfilling as you would like – or vice versa.
46. You often blame each other for relationship problems.
47. You feel like you’re always walking on eggshells.
48. Your partner makes you feel like you’re not ‘good enough’.
49. Your partner complains about you to colleagues, friends and family.
50. You are ashamed of your partner’s behavior.
51. You feel lonely when you are together.
52. Your partner is sickly jealous .
53. Your partner shows no affection or you towards your partner.
54. Your partner is coercive when it comes to sex.
55. Your partner often compares you to other people who are ‘better’ than you.
56. Your partner argues with ‘If… then’ expressions.
57. You no longer have a sense of autonomy .
58. You never understand each other’s perspective.
59. You feel like you give everything but never get anything back.
60. You feel emotionally drained by the relationship

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