6 Signs of Relationship Problems That Hint at A Dark Cloud

There are many signs that indicate a bad relationship . Do you try to avoid each other more often or do you prefer to go out with friends? Do you complain about the smallest things and no longer attach much value to intimacy? Such things indicate serious relationship problems. It is important to love someone, but this is not always enough. Relationships change. It may be that when the ‘newness’ of the relationship wears off, it quickly becomes boring or even annoying.

Psychologists have indicated that there are several signals that can indicate future relationship problems. It is important to discover these in time. In this way you can still save your relationship. The small annoyances are about something completely different, the bigger picture. There is dissatisfaction and this must be resolved.

Of all the relationships that fail, most do so after about 15 years. A long time. And afterwards you might think you saw it coming. But… then it is of course important that you know what to pay attention to. We give you 6 signs of relationship problems that hint at a dark cloud.

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Relationships change

In the beginning, a relationship is often exciting. This tension makes you feel attracted to someone else. Scientists often say that it is smart to go to an amusement park on the first date. The tension you experience when you ride roller coasters ensures that this spills over into your date. You get excited by the excitement, which is then transferred to the person you are on a date with. Tension keeps the relationship going.

Yet it is inevitable that a relationship will change at some point. It all becomes a bit ordinary and there is nothing new about it anymore. If you don’t pay attention, you will end up in a rut , where every day is the same. Are you running out of ideas on how to keep your relationship fun? Then this is often a sign that there is no way out. It is very important to ensure that there remains chemistry between the two of you.

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Loving is not always enough

Four well-known words that are often said in a relationship: I love you . These words still mean a lot in the beginning. You don’t just say them to someone. So you actually mean it. There is a good chance that you will say this a lot more often after a few months or years. But, is loving enough?

‘I love you’ is easy to say. We also love our parents and friends. Yet this is on a different level. You can still love your partner, but this is not enough. You love the person and want the best for them. Is that all? Then this means that your relationship is weakening. In addition to loving, you also have to be in love. You want to be around that person and not be happy with anyone else . So loving is not always enough.

6 signs of relationship problems

Now that we understand how relationships can develop, it is important to recognize the signals. There are a number of signals that indicate serious relationship problems. Do you recognize these? Then try to solve them or cut the knot. Is there only one problem or are the cracks beyond repair? These signals can indicate relationship problems in the (near) future.

1. No more intimacy

It is not unusual for couples to want to touch each other day and night. They prefer to sit next to each other on the couch and they can’t get enough of each other. Yet there are also couples who find it sufficient to seek intimacy a few times a week . There is therefore no standard that your intimacy must meet according to sexologists. It often also depends on the phase your relationship is in. In the first years, the intimacy may be even greater than after about 10 years.

If there are other problems in your lives, there is no reason to panic if intimacy diminishes for a while. Stress, for example, is a common problem. You don’t need anyone else for a while and would like to get things in order yourself first. Still, it is important to keep an eye on this signal. For example, intimacy in bed strengthens your bond and connection. Is this no longer present in your relationship? Then there could be overarching problems.

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2. Complaining about little things

According to several researchers, small irritations can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. Do you really love each other? Then it doesn’t matter if the other person leaves the toilet seat up or doesn’t clear his/her plate. You don’t complain about that in the first place. Unless it keeps repeating itself, because then it becomes a problem. At some point these little things start to irritate you.

According to you, it is only a small effort to put the toilet seat down. You believe that the other person does not care about you and therefore leaves the toilet seat up. However, the chance is great that the other person is not consciously thinking about it at all.

So try to talk it out in a calm way and don’t bottle up these annoyances. In the long run, nagging doesn’t work . Do you keep complaining about the little things? Then something is wrong in your relationship and there will be an overarching problem.

3. Silence

You probably recognize the following situation. You’re going out for a nice meal or a day out. There you see a couple sitting somewhere who barely talk to each other. Are they having a bad day today or do they always sit opposite each other without saying anything? Maybe they have nothing more to talk about with each other? It looks awkward. But what if you suddenly became this couple?

It is important to have an emotional connection and more importantly: to maintain it. It is possible that you talk a lot to each other, but these conversations should also go deep sometimes. Everyone can talk about what he or she ate or experienced that day. But that is not the only thing you should talk about. In a relationship it is important to talk intimately with each other.

Does your humor match each other, or are you missing the point here? It quickly gets boring when your thoughts don’t match. This way you can never start a conversation in which you keep talking back and forth. Then you sit opposite each other in silence, because you no longer know how to keep the conversation going.

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4. Arguing

In general, arguing is not a bad sign. It shows that you love each other. Don’t you argue at all? Then this means that you do not care much about the other. However, there are some ways of arguing that do indicate relationship problems.

• An argument that starts very fiercely in the first minutes.
• Giving harsh criticism during an argument, for example: “you never do…”
• Disparaging remarks towards each other during the argument.
• One person puts up a wall and no longer responds to the other.
• Physically hurting each other during a verbal argument.
• Not being able to settle an argument.

5. Annoyances

At the beginning of a relationship, there are many things you like about your partner. For example, the funny comments he or she makes. Are you going to be annoyed by these things at a later stage? For example, do you think that person cannot be serious at all? Then there is a good chance that the relationship will not survive.

For example, you may initially like the fact that someone is jealous when you talk to someone else. Later you may start to see this as possessive. At the beginning of your relationship you probably turned a blind eye to such things. Not anymore later. Are you becoming increasingly annoyed by this? For example, possessive behavior , dishonesty or insecurity? Then you should worry about your relationship.

ALSO READ: 13 Things That Slowly Destroy A Relationship

6. Criticizing

There are different types of criticism . For example, you can criticize someone’s behavior, for example by telling them that they should clean up their mess next time. You can also criticize someone as a person, for example by saying that he or she is always very blunt. These are the little things that put a lot of strain on the relationship.

Criticism is much harder to deal with than positive things. We find positive plus points important and take them for granted, while we are often not served by the naming of bad qualities. When you or your partner only gives criticism and does not name positive things, it is very possible that the relationship is no longer working .

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