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If you have been in a relationship for a long time, at some point you will reach the point where you have to decide whether you are going to live together. It’s a big step: yes, no, or wait a little longer?
On the one hand, you think it’s great to be with your partner 24/7 and you’re certainly ready for this step, but on the other hand, it’s also exciting and scary. It is a completely new situation that you will find yourself in as a couple. It will certainly test the relationship and you as a person in various ways.
Suddenly you have a second person to take into account and that can be quite difficult. The relationship will certainly change, but in what form? That remains to be seen, because living together can break or strengthen a relationship.
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Living together as a relationship test
You have been happy in a relationship for some time. You see each other a few times a week and you decide to take the next big step in your relationship: moving in together . An exciting step, but also a very nice step. You prefer to be together as much as possible and moving back and forth between two apartments can become tiring and frustrating at some point.
Sharing a house, belongings and a life together. It sounds great. But don’t underestimate living together. When you live together you are really together every day. Every day you get up together and go to bed together. This also includes the moments when you are tired, cranky from a long working day and when you are in a bad mood.
5 ways living together tests the relationship
Living together is the ultimate relationship test. If living together goes great, your relationship will be able to withstand many things. Are you encountering too many problems that cannot be discussed or solved? Then the test is not passed and you may continue in life alone. These are 5 ways that living together tests the relationship.
1. You may find that you are happier when you are alone
If you have moved in with your partner and negative feelings dominate, this is not a good sign for the relationship. Living together can feel suffocating. You then discover that maybe you weren’t as happy in the relationship as you initially thought.
Living together is a great opportunity to analyze all the elements in the relationship. Do you find out that the relationship was not as strong as you had thought? Then that’s okay too. Better to find out in time than later. And maybe being alone is just what you need right now.
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2. You can see how much housework you are responsible for
If you live together and both work, it is fair if you opt for a 50/50 division of household tasks. However, this does not always happen. If you both work from home, you will find that one of you takes on the tasks before the other. Tidying up, cooking, shopping, cleaning and a long laundry list of household chores that need to be done. Even if one person is more stressed about work than the other, you have to work together to get the household under control.
3. You will wonder if you are really happy
You probably remember the early stages of your relationship. You were sure that you had found the right one and in your eyes he or she could do no wrong. But now you live together and you can completely freak out if your partner hasn’t done the dishes. When you are with someone for a long time or live together, you also learn about all their bad habits: the rose-colored glasses come off.
When you live together, you are close to each other, so your partner’s bad qualities also come to the surface. But no one is perfect, not even you. Unfortunately, there are no perfect partners like you see in romantic movies. If you compare your partner to that, you will always lose.
The pink cloud you were on at the beginning of the relationship is slowly disappearing. This happens in every relationship, so don’t see this as a problem. But of course you have to check whether the good and bad qualities outweigh each other.
4. You can tell if your partner puts as much energy and effort into the relationship as you do
When you live together you share a life together. If you feel like you are the only one who keeps the house clean, surprises your partner with his or her favorite food and keeps the relationship exciting, then you need to have a good conversation . You may live together, but this does not mean that you should not put time, effort and energy into the relationship. It’s a good time to recognize that the relationship may be purely one-sided.
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5. You see whether or not there is long-term potential
You may now think that you want to be with your partner all the time, but living together is really a different story. Many people underestimate it. You share a house and a life with your partner; every day of the week. You are also together when you are tired, tense or irritated and that can sometimes be quite difficult. By living together you discover whether your lives really go together and whether you like all aspects of each other. Living together tests whether the relationship has a future.
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