43 Hilarious and Wrong Quotes About Love, Relationships and Sex

A good sense of humor is an attractive trait. It’s even scientifically proven that if you’re a man, being funny makes you more attractive as a partner.  Not surprising, because a sense of humor is one of the most important elements of a love relationship.

When you ask some women why they love their partners, they shrug their shoulders and say, “He makes me laugh.” Sometimes, a good sense of humor is all it takes to win a woman’s heart.

When you and your partner share a similar sense of humor, it’s a lot easier to express yourself with it. You know which jokes are popular and which ones are best avoided, no matter how easy they are to make. If you need some inspiration or want to expand your arsenal of jokes, here are 43 funny sayings to try out.

ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive

Quotes about love and relationships

1. Your face makes other people’s ugly.
2. I want to see you happy. And naked.
3. If you ever leave me, I’ll go with you.
4. It’s not easy being me. That’s why I need you.
5. Your smile is proof that the best things in life are free.
6. You have the body type that when others see it, they realize they need to exercise more.
7. You’re exactly my kind of weirdo.
8. When I look at you, I feel the warmth in my heart. Or yesterday’s spicy curry comes up.
9. That delicious body, those soft lips, that luscious buttocks… but enough about me, how are you?
10. From now on I’ll call you asthma. Every time I see you you take my breath away.
11. Can I borrow a kiss from you? I promise I’ll give it back.
12. My love for you is like diarrhea, it just keeps coming.
13. My girlfriend says I have an intimacy problem. But she doesn’t really know me.
14. Fuck Redbull, only you give me wings.
15. I don’t believe in love at first sight, so I think it would be a good idea to see you more often.
16. I love you with all my ass. I wanted to say heart, but my ass is bigger.
17. Now that’s enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?
18. Love is blind . But fortunately marriage is an eye-opener .
19. Sometimes I look at you and realize what a lucky person you are.
20. Love is the only thing that multiplies when you share it.
21. Honesty is the key to a successful relationship . If you can fake that , you’re in.
22. I see stars when I look into your eyes. I think I have a concussion.

ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side

Statements about sex

23. Love runs deep, sex only a few inches.
24. The best exercise for a firm buttocks? Reverse cowgirl .
25. When people say something is “better than sex,” they’re clearly doing it wrong.
26. Sex is not the answer, sex is the question: yes is the answer
27. Women need a reason for sex, men just need a place.
28. He who does not dare, remains a virgin.
29. Sex burns just as many calories as running 5 km, but who runs 5 km in 1 minute?
30. Sex is like cooking: everyone can do it, but only a few make it taste good.
31. The only thing better than an orgasm? A second orgasm.
32. You remind me of my little toe. Sooner or later I’ll slam you into a table.
33. The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette when we were done.
34. Want to come over and watch porn on my flatscreen mirror?
35. The big difference between sex for money and free sex is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
36. My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she’s reading.
37. Someone who is kinky uses a feather, someone who is perverted uses the whole chicken.
38. Sex on TV doesn’t do any harm unless you fall off.
39. Sex: the thing that takes the least time and causes the most problems.
40. Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.
41. I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot alone.
42. Sex is like snow: you never know how many inches you’ll get and how long it will last.
43. I don’t have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination.

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