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In the beginning of a relationship, things are relatively easy – conversations flow effortlessly, there are no arguments, and never a disagreement about which Netflix series to watch. For a while, everything is fine, but then… things get real .
Relationships tend to never follow the straight path. Along the way you will face obstacles to overcome, hills that speed up and slow down the pace, but also opportunities to take a turn. But with good communication, many of these obstacles can be overcome. Without problems, without too much effort. But if the communication is not there, you can easily get lost.
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Phrases that no one wants to hear in a relationship
When it comes to maintaining a relationship , there is a big difference between talking and actually communicating. Because you can talk to each other, but never communicate. And when that happens too often, tensions, resentments and maybe even first ruptures arise.
Moreover, it’s not just outright insults that can damage your relationship. Even the innocent things you (unconsciously) say to each other can cause big problems later. These are 31 things you shouldn’t say to your partner.
1. “I can’t count on you.”
When you say this, you indicate that there is something fundamentally wrong with the relationship. While you may actually only be talking about the situation you are in now.
2. “You… always…”
Accusatory, without feedback. It makes it difficult for your partner to try to do something different, because it won’t be noticed if they do it the way you want.
3. “I don’t love you (anymore).”
It’s tempting to say this during a heated argument. But even if you don’t mean it, it’s a sentence you can never take back.
4. “Why don’t you ever…?
By saying this sentence, regardless of how you finish it, you immediately indicate that the other person is doing something wrong. ‘Never’ in particular is a word you should never use. Asking your partner why they don’t do something you wish they did won’t get them to do it.
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5. “My ex did that so well.”
Comparisons to an ex? Never a good idea. It will only create insecurity in your partner.
6. “Keep quiet.”
There is usually something going on before you say this. If you stop talking, you have stopped communicating.
7. “I wish you earned a little more.”
This simple message can easily be interpreted as, “You are not good enough for me.” Money is a sensitive subject. Especially if one earns more than the other.
8. “I don’t care what you think.”
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Saying “you don’t care” during an argument is therefore the same as not loving. It is both hurtful and rejecting.
9. “Are you on your period?”
Women are also not allowed to have their day, just like men. It does not necessarily mean that they are in the middle of their menstrual cycle.
10. “Do you find [him|her] more attractive than me?”
Questions like these do not allow for an honest answer. They are impossible to answer. If your partner says yes, they are hurting you. When they say ‘no’, you wonder if they are telling the truth.
11. “We need to talk.”
The call for a conversation that only creates fear of the unknown, when you know it’s going to be a serious conversation. “We need to talk” is the phrase no one wants to hear in a relationship because it always means a difficult conversation is coming and it probably won’t go well.
12. “I know I said I would, but…”
Saying you’re going to do something – to cut the conversation short – when you don’t feel like it? Don’t do it. Not doing something you’d like to do is worse than saying you can’t or won’t do it.
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13. “You’re just my…”
Comparing your partner to a mother, father, ex or someone else can be quite painful. That’s because comparisons like these often evoke fear and anger.
14. “You’re acting weird.”
What do you mean, a lack of empathy? If you say your partner is acting weird, it’s weird that you didn’t ask why. And then it probably isn’t that weird anymore.
15. “Stop whining.”
What is often interpreted as ‘ whining ‘ is simply asking for help. For the person asking you a question, it is particularly annoying to hear that they are ‘whining’.
16. “I want a divorce.”
No one in a marriage wants to hear this phrase, even when it’s clearly the best choice ever.
17. “If you don’t like it, there’s the door.”
Unless you are prepared to part ways with your partner on the spot, this is a sentence you should never say. An all-or-nothing attitude does not allow for any form of contradiction. And that is disastrous for a relationship.
18. “You’re a dirty old man.”
It can be frustrating to watch your partner pay less and less attention to their appearance and hygiene. But calling them a pervert, or some variation thereof, is an insult to the person—not the behavior.
19. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
If you don’t want to talk about it, then you’re not willing to solve problems.
20. “You’re making a drama out of it.”
What is an exaggerated reaction for you may be a (real) way for someone else to express themselves.
21. “But [friend’s name] always does this…”
Do you want to make your partner feel like he or she is not a good enough partner? No? Then it is never wise to compare your own partner to that of others.
22. “Would you eat that?”
Just because you would like to see your partner lose a few pounds does not mean that you can criticize your partner with difficult questions. It’s not your job to tell them what they can or can’t put in their mouths.
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23. “You’re too sensitive.”
…or maybe you’re too tactless? People hate hearing that. It makes them insecure and can cause them to doubt themselves, which only makes things worse.
24. “We grew apart.”
Unless you say this during the breakup, it is better to never say this phrase.
25. “What is it?” – “Nothing…”
This direct question to find out what is going on is a reason for many to block. And that’s why they often say: “Nothing…” While there is something wrong. If only you had asked a different question…
26. “I’m sorry you feel hurt.”
It doesn’t help that your apology isn’t sincere, sincere, or fake. There is a big difference between apologizing because the other person feels hurt and regretting that you have hurt that person.
27. “This is your fault.”
Blaming your partner is not the way to solve problems.
28. “Your friend looks good.”
Some thoughts are better kept in mind forever, like telling your partner that you find their boyfriend or girlfriend attractive. Even if everyone else thinks so, it’s better to keep it to yourself.
29. “You have to…”
Does your partner have no opinion of their own? No one has to do anything for anyone else. You don’t have to do anything just because you think they should.
30. “I have an STD.”
What no one wants to hear from a partner is that they recently contracted an STD . Because that often means that cheating has occurred.
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31. “………..”
Silence. Complete silence. While you really want to know what’s going on. The silent treatment is extremely hurtful because you are being punished for something, but you don’t know what.
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