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When you think about online dating, you probably have a few preconceptions that come to mind. Online dating is only for the desperate , you can’t trust what people say online, and online dating is all about looks. While there is some truth to them, they are generalizations that often lead to unfounded conclusions. You may have had some of these thoughts yourself before deciding to give it a try.
Perhaps you thought that every time you matched, the photos were fake, the conversations were superficial and that potential dates were only looking for a one-night stand. These prejudices about online dating are common, but recent research by dating site Lexa shows that these worries are actually unfounded. A whopping 77% of Dutch singles believe in genuine, romantic encounters through online dating.
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Prejudices about online dating
Dating platform Lexa conducted a survey among 296 Dutch users of the app a few months ago. They mainly wanted to know what prejudices exist about online dating and more importantly: whether they are true. Let’s take a look at three prejudices that were investigated.
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‘Matching is all about your looks’
It is a common remark: ‘Dating via dating apps is all about how you look.’ Your looks are the only thing that counts , according to the statement, but is that true? According to the research, we can refute this prejudice. Although appearance obviously plays an important role, Dutch singles are actually looking for someone with whom they are compatible.
Nearly 2 out of 5 singles sign up for a dating app to meet people who meet their criteria and expectations. Not to meet attractive, handsome people. Your dating profile and what you write in it are therefore more important than you think. Of the participants, 36% like to be surprised by an original profile description .
Do you know how to strike the right chord with your opening line (29%) and do you have an interesting, interactive conversation with your matches? Then 32% of Dutch singles are eager to go on a date with you. In other words: your looks may be important, but they are far from the only thing that counts.
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‘Dating profiles are full of lies’
People lie. They twist or embellish the truth and they do this on dating apps too. But it is not the case that dating profiles are full of lies . Almost 4 in 10 singles surveyed (43%) find it important to be themselves. They want to express themselves without worrying about what others think of them.
Authenticity is a recent dating trend where people want to be more themselves on dating apps, which is also reflected in this research. Of the respondents, 3 in 10 think that living in the moment (31%) and giving up control to be surprised (27%) creates genuine connections. Showing vulnerability, accepting your imperfections and daring to show what you are proud of also make the list.
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‘No romance on dating apps’
Despite all the benefits dating apps offer, they remain a complicated experience for many. From catfishing to ghosting , dating can lead to some tough situations. But that doesn’t mean romance isn’t possible on dating apps. 85% of respondents said romance is still very important in a relationship. They also believe dating apps can be the ideal place for spontaneous, romantic encounters. And 77% of respondents are confident that a romantic encounter is possible on a dating app.
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How these prejudices arise
Where do all these prejudices come from? In many cases, people have these prejudices about online dating because they have no personal experience with it. They base their prejudices on the stories of others, media reports and negative stereotypes. The media in particular influence our perceptions and how we look at online dating. And there is a good reason for this, because sensational stories about negative experiences or cases of abuse often get more attention than the many success stories, which creates a distorted image.
In the early years of online dating, there was also the fear of the unknown. The virtual world of love was a new phenomenon compared to traditional dating methods, and people were therefore reluctant to accept it, especially because they were not familiar with it. A stigma was created that still exists today – to a lesser extent.
However, prejudices are not always true, and this is certainly true in online dating . Prejudices are based on generalizations and stereotypes, and do not take into account individual differences and personal experiences of people.
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