29+ Original Opening Lines Created by Artificial Intelligence

Most of the opening lines that get sent are boring, cliché, or offensive. Or a combination of the two. In fact, if you had a dollar for every time you got a “hi,” “hey,” or “how are you” in your inbox, you’d be reading this from the comfort of your own yacht.

So it’s time to give everyone who does this some inspiration, so we can finally be done with all those mind-numbing opening lines. The solution? AI-powered opening lines, or so thought a scientist named Janelle Shane.

The research scientist and author of the new book “ AI, You Look Like a Thing and I Love You ” had previously conducted an experiment with artificial intelligence opening lines. But that was several years ago, and the language model she used was so “small and ignorant” that the opening lines were disjointed and confusing.

Such a language model, which resembles the connections in the human brain, ‘learns’ by matching patterns in speech and language. This is how it can produce text that looks like how a normal human would formulate it, but without any understanding of what the texts mean.

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Artificial intelligence opening lines

Since her first attempt in 2017, GPT-3 language models have improved significantly, trained on large datasets of internet text. In theory, these models should be able to create better opening lines, Shane thought . And to test that, she ran four of these language models on an existing article titled: “These are the best opening lines of 2021!”

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DaVinci’s opening lines

One of the best language models, DaVinci, which Shane describes as the “largest and most competent” of the four variants, came up with these original suggestions:

1. I’m losing my voice from all the screaming your excitement is causing.
2. You have the most beautiful canines I’ve ever seen.
3. I love you. I don’t care if you’re a dog in a trench coat.
4. I have exactly 4 stickers. I want you to be the 5th.
5. Let me briefly summarize the plot of Back to the Future II for you.
6. You have a beautiful face. Can I put it on an air freshener? I want to keep your scent close to me always.
7. You know what I like about you? Your… long… legs…
8. I once worked with a man who looked exactly like you. He was a normal person with a family. Are you a normal person with a family?
9. You look like an assassin from the clouds.
10. Do you like… pancakes?
11. Out of curiosity, did you know you can sip and sniff Pumpkin Spice Lattes ?
12. You look like Jesus if he were a butler in a Russian mansion.
13. “Your hair smells like fresh mint. It reminds me of a nice cracker, or a nice cookie. It also looks a bit like a nice drink. Would you like some?” -> You -> “…..” (accepts drink)

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Curie’s opening lines

Curie, the second language model, is a bit smaller than DaVinci. But according to Shane, this language model is “the closest thing to depressing lists of opening lines.” If you read a few of them, you’ll see what she means:

14. Your eyes are like two rainbows and a rainbow of eyes. I can’t help but stare at them.
15. I picked up some pretty flowers. Would you like to smell them? Here, try to take my hand off.
16. I’m just like ice cream… You can keep me in the freezer for a while, but then I’ll melt!
17. Hi, my name is Natasha Dawson and I’m pretty as hell prettier than a picture of you on aluminum foil.
18. You have the best French Toast I’ve ever had!
19. Hey my name is John Smith are you gonna sit on my lunchbox while I cook or is there a speed limit on that thing?
20. My name is a complicated combination of 45 degrees of forward motion, 25 degrees of leftward drift, 75 degrees of upward acceleration, and infinity and that is where my love for you ends.

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Babbage’s opening lines

Babbage, a smaller version of the GPT-3 algorithm, apparently did not understand the concept of an “opening sentence”. The language model therefore came up with a number of strange suggestions, including:

21. You look good. Want some snacks?
22. How many tattoos do you have?
23. It is urgent that you become a professional athlete.
24. I love you, I love you, I love you. To the borders of death and disease, the legion of the earth rejoices. Woe be to the world!
25. Butterfly (Jump on one leg)
26. (In your best Albert Einstein voice) “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
27. If you see people with short hair, ask them to let you borrow it for five minutes!
28. Did you steal anything today?
29. Will you marry me?

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Ada, the fourth and smallest language model, came up with the worst opening lines. The suggestions from this model are puzzling, such as “ Body Softening Pads ,” “embroidery labels,” and “limited to 1 purchase in stores.” While these opening lines raise questions, perhaps that is exactly what Ada wants to teach people.

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