28 Characteristics of a Good, Healthy and Happy Relationship

The first few months you are completely crazy and you see everything through colored glasses. It even makes you live day by day and think everything is fine. After a while you come back down to earth and the switch starts: you start thinking about the future. And in this case, that is a future that you might want to share with your current partner.

You therefore wonder whether you are really on the right track and whether there is a good, healthy and happy relationship. However, there will also be people for whom that question alone causes a lot of stress. That is why we are happy to help you with the 28 characteristics of a good relationship. Then you will at least know whether you are on the right track… or not.

When do you speak of a good relationship?

A good relationship: what is that actually? People often compare themselves to other people and that makes it difficult to judge whether they themselves are in a good relationship or not. However, advice from other people can raise questions, because that perfect picture that your best friend told you about, you do not recognize at all in your own home situation.

Try not to be guided too much by stories of others or the ideal image. Every relationship is different. What is a happy and healthy relationship for one person, is labeled as a hopeless and boring relationship by another.

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Let’s be clear about one thing: a good start means a good relationship. If you’re at odds from the very beginning, the future looks bleak. Of course, you can argue about everyday things, but if the fundamental norms and values ​​clash, things could get tough. In addition, there are many other characteristics of a good relationship. Because these can manifest themselves in countless ways, we will discuss 28 of them with you:

1. Fun together

It’s a bit obvious, but it’s absolutely true: having fun together means that you enjoy being together. In this case, we’re mainly talking about enjoying the little things in life. That means lots of laughter and lots of fun. People who have fun together, stay together.

2. Focused on the future

At first you let it go for a while, but there comes a time when you start talking about ‘your’ future together . If that is something that comes up regularly and naturally in your conversations, then that is a sign that you want to face the future together.

3. Wanting to look good: for each other

We all know the stories of one or both partners getting into a rut. While your partner used to try so hard to impress, things are now being pushed to the limit. Make sure you don’t get to this point, but that you both want to look as good as you did on the very first date . Right, wanting to impress each other.

4. Own language

One day, your partner says to you, “See you tonight, tiger,” as the door closes. You look up from the moment and then get a big smile on your face. That’s because this kind of sweet language is a sign of intimacy. And as long as that language and the pet names are still used by the two of you, there is still intimacy.

5. Both want to stay fit and healthy

A healthy relationship means staying healthy in every way. An important step in this is to take your own and each other’s health seriously. For example, you both go to the gym, cycle regularly, or go running. You still avoid McDonald’s as often as you did at the beginning of the relationship and you still leave the deep fryer alone.

6. Unconditional trust

Trust in each other is the case of a whole series of actions that show that you can trust each other. You can empathize with each other’s personal situation, encourage your partner when things are not going well, and always offer a listening ear. And vice versa. As a result of that mutual trust, you feel safe. Both physically and emotionally.

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7. You still miss each other

Have you ever spent a week without your partner? If so, when you think back to that week, was there a lot of loss? We often only notice how much we appreciate someone’s company when we are not with them. And when you see your partner again, something sparkles again: it is in moments like this that love surfaces again.

8. Understanding each other’s individuality

In every relationship there are compromises, but that doesn’t mean you have to completely change your life. It is important that you can continue to be yourself and continue to do your things. Respect each other’s individuality and give each other space. You should encourage each other to spend enough time on yourselves and your own interests.

9. And yet shared life goals

However, that does not mean that you cannot strive for common goals. There must be attention and dedication in the relationship to want to achieve goals together. These can be diverse, but in many cases they represent the bigger things in life. Think of traveling together, buying a house, getting married, and maybe even having children.

10. Wanting to do your best for each other

In a healthy relationship, you both know better than anyone else what the other needs. However, that also means that it should not be the case that one of you completely ignores your personal needs and is always working for the other. Selfishness is good for nothing and one-sided relationships have no future. Especially not in a relationship that requires you to do your best for each other.

11. Despite the differences, there are still compromises

If you are honest, you know that you are very different from your partner. If you were to compare the differences one on one, you could go on forever. And despite the differences, you (in a good relationship) are extremely satisfied with each other. Why? Because you make compromises with each other. You know exactly what to do and what not to do.

12. You can forgive each other

This may be a lot easier on paper than in practice, but still: it is important that you can forgive each other. If you’re still full of revenge over something that happened a few weeks ago, then the foundation is off. Talk to each other, talk it out, and find a solution. Make sure that the differences are resolved and forgive.

13. Trying new things

What should you try to avoid as much as possible in your relationship? That it gets into a rut. Fortunately, there is a solution, and that is to keep each other sharp. Try new things and make sure there is enough life in the brewery. You can think of all sorts of things: try out that new bar in the city or a fun city trip to a city that neither of you has visited yet. Also check out our list of fun things to do with your partner .

14. Know each other’s secrets

You have both been through enough in life before this relationship. That will hopefully provide positive memories for the most part, but perhaps things that are less pleasant have also happened. Either way, your personal history cannot be erased. However, that does mean that you have to be open and not keep secrets from each other. If you have certain things you need to express, do so relatively early in the relationship.

15. Thoughtful little things

To understand each other you need a healthy dose of empathy. That means that you know what the other person likes and can appreciate. For example, when your partner comes home after a long day at work, make sure that their favorite drink is already cold. In short, you have already fully understood what the other person likes and are willing to help. Not only when the other person asks, but just from yourself, nice and thoughtful.

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16. Relatively few minor irritations

Logically, it can be quite annoying if your partner has forgotten to make the bed again. Or how shockingly irritating it is to find underwear on the floor every time. But if these little things irritate you all day long, then there is a small problem. In a strong and healthy relationship there are relatively few minor irritations.

17. You also work on a good sex life

Regular sex is very different from jumping into bed together on autopilot. The quality of the sex must also still be good, or at least that should be the aim. Make sure you keep it exciting by trying new things and listening to what the other person likes. Don’t be rude and turn off the lights.

18. Still longing

If the relationship is still early, you don’t have to do much: there is a constant longing for each other. But as the relationship progresses this will look different. It may become a bit monotonous in the bedroom and you are also happy if you spend a weekend with friends. But still, it is precisely at such moments that the desire must surface again.

19. Sleep together regularly

In this case too, we need to ignore the first few months, which conveniently do not count. What about today? Do you still go to bed together often? Or has the frequency of sex already decreased to once a month? Regular sex is important in the relationship, because in few situations does it become as intimate as during lovemaking.

20. You can argue, but not all the time

Actually, it can’t be that bad to have a raging fight every now and then . This way you learn to know each other’s boundaries and there is also a learning process. If it is made up again, you may learn to appreciate each other even more than before the fight. What you do need to avoid, however, is that there are continuous, dragging fights. Otherwise, the healthy relationship in which conflicts are resolved quickly changes into an unhealthy relationship .

21. You keep each other on your toes

Actually, no one hopes to end up in it, but it still happens far too often: both partners do not make each other better. Once again we end up in the proverbial rut, where sitting on the couch in front of the TV with a bag of chips is the daily reality. You are also a worse boyfriend or girlfriend to your own friends, even though you were still in the prime of your life before the relationship. Do you recognize this? Then cut. Keep each other sharp: whether it is work-related, your fitness, or that course you really wanted to take.

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22. Still laughing as much as ever

In a good relationship, positivity predominates. This means that you are just as good company for your partner as he or she is for you. And what goes with a positive mood? A lot of laughter. In other words: laughing at the most trivial things, stupid questions or even at your partner’s bad jokes. It doesn’t matter how, as long as there is laughter.

23. Occasional breaks

Going on holiday without each other once won’t hurt. In fact, it can even be very healthy for the relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to not see each other for a while. Not because you can’t stand each other, but mainly because you need to give each other space. The space to be alone or with your own friends. Being able to give each other a moment of break is a sign of strength and mutual understanding.

24. Planning together

No, forget about that notepad. But planning together means that you are on the same page. By being on the same page and talking about it, you keep the relationship regular. After all, there should always be music for the future in your relationship. Think of that fun trip, that new car, or that far-away holiday destination.

25. In-laws? You know them inside and out

Although, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. But at least you’ve met enough times to judge whether you like each other or not. If he or she has never introduced you to the family, then that is of course a bit strange. You don’t have to become best friends with your mother-in-law, but let’s face it: If you’ve never met your in-laws, you should ask yourself if your partner is serious about you.

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26. You respect each other

Respect works in all kinds of ways and also works very differently per gender. Of course, a man sometimes needs to be told how fiercely attractive and extremely strong he is and of course a woman also wants to be constantly flattered. But what’s really important is that you respect each other as full partners. Respecting each other means that you take each other seriously and recognize how important the other person is in your life. Mutual respect is essential in a happy relationship.

27. Enough rest, enough support

Men sometimes need a woman to keep her mouth shut, while women sometimes want their partner to open their mouth more often. It is important to find a balance here. You have to leave your partner alone when he or she needs it and sense when the time has come to step in. Listen to each other and understand each other.

28. Being able to rally each other

Sure, a man is allowed to iron his own shirt once in a while. And we all know the woman can lug the chair upstairs too. It’s fine for a man to be able to take care of himself and for the woman to be strong and independent. But ultimately you want to be able to call on the man when there are heavy jobs, while the woman can be called in when something creative needs to be done. Because that is also a good and healthy relationship.

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