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No relationship is perfect. No one should therefore expect a relationship to always run smoothly. That is not realistic if you let two people with different perspectives, ideas and opinions live together in the house. Whether you have just moved in together or have already reached the milestone of 12.5 years of marriage, relationship problems are inevitable.
No problem is the same
What makes relationship problems difficult is that they are sometimes very small, but can still cause a major and long-lasting discussion. A seemingly mundane disagreement, such as leaving the toilet seat up, can end up feeling like a lack of respect. The choice of the television channel and holding the remote control? It can feel like a show of power and exerting control over the relationship. For example, problems that originally start small can result in a long-lasting conflict.
In addition, a relationship problem is a permanent problem for one couple, while the exact same relationship problem is quickly resolved for the other couple. The difference between these couples can be found in the way they deal with problems, how upset they get and the willingness to do something about it.
Common causes of relationship problems
Relationship problems are rarely caused by one problem. In most cases, it is complicated combinations of opinions, thoughts, feelings and emotions that are responsible. However, many problems in relationships are caused by these six common causes.
- Lack of communication
Poor or insufficient communication is one of the main causes of relationship problems. - Different expectations and needs
Partners may have different expectations of each other and of their relationship. - Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy, both physical and emotional, is an important part of a healthy relationship. - Stress and external factors
External factors such as financial problems can have a negative impact on the relationship. - Inequality
Partners cannot feel equal in the relationship. - Trust
A lack of trust can lead to relationship problems.
Also read: Time-out for Your Relationship: Does a Temporary Break Work?
26 classic relationship problems?
Relationship problems come and go, ranging from small to large. From communication issues to intimacy issues, from trust issues to power issues, every relationship is unique and so are the issues and challenges it faces. However, there are a number of classic causes that can be responsible for relationship problems. These are 26 of those common causes.
1. Cheating
Whether it’s an emotional or sexual affair , cheating is one of the most damaging and painful reasons for relationship problems. Cheating can create a deep rift between you and your partner, resulting in a loss of trust in each other. After cheating, it is difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.
2. Too many disagreements
If you and your partner regularly argue about different things, such as money, children or tasks at home, this can lead to tension and disappointment. The result is often that both partners distance themselves from each other, disconnect emotionally and cannot find their way back to each other.
3. Withdraw
Regularly ignoring your partner, withdrawing when emotions become too much, and not speaking to your partner for days: not communicating when necessary can lead to relationship problems. If you regularly ignore your partner or cut yourself off from conversations with your partner, this can ultimately create emotional distance.
4. Don’t talk to each other
Not wanting to talk about internal or relationship problems is also a common cause of relationship problems. If you are not willing to communicate openly and honestly about your problems, it can lead to tension and alienation within your relationship.
5. Not working together
One person trying to do everything alone can also be a cause of relationship problems. Not wanting to work with your partner to complete home tasks or other activities can lead to frustration. Both for you and your partner.
6. Taking each other for granted
Taking each other for granted is dangerous for any relationship. That’s the case when you take your partner for granted and don’t appreciate them enough. If you gradually pay less attention to your partner, feelings of dissatisfaction may arise. You become indifferent to what your partner does, your partner gets the feeling that you don’t care about him or her.
7. Don’t work together, do everything alone
One person trying to do all the tasks alone can also be a culprit of relationship problems. If one partner is unwilling to work with the other to complete tasks at home or in other activities, it can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction for both partners.
8. Not meeting sexual needs
Do you regularly ignore your partner’s sexual needs ? Please keep in mind that it may make your partner frustrated. This is especially true if you don’t discuss the reason for the disregard openly and honestly.
9. Not meeting needs for intimacy
Besides sex, all other forms of intimacy are also important in a relationship. A lack of it can lead to distance, and not just physically. Intimacy is an important part of any relationship, but if you want to be less and less intimate with your partner, this can lead to alienation.
10. Keeping secrets from each other
You should be an open book to your partner. At least, that’s what most people strive for. If you have secrets that you don’t share with your partner, especially because they are significant secrets, it can lead to distrust in the relationship .
Also read: If Your Partner Does These 14 Things, You’ll Be Better Off Alone
11. Passive-aggressive behavior
Do you ever show your anger indirectly? Instead of talking openly and honestly about your feelings and working toward solutions, you exhibit subtle behavior that can be interpreted as hostile. Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of behavior that can cause relationship problems. This type of behavior makes it difficult to communicate well.
12. Pent-up feelings
Bottling up your feelings and holding grudges for your partner can also be a cause of relationship problems. If you do not discuss the problems and allow them to stifle, you can expect them to develop into greater tensions. That’s why it’s important to share your feelings with your partner so that you can work together to resolve issues before they get out of hand.
13. Showing no interest
From not feeling like doing anything to showing no interest in what your partner does: they can easily cause relationship problems. If you seem more interested in things other than your relationship, your partner may interpret this as a lack of love and connection.
14. Blaming each other
Finger pointing: no one likes it, but people do it anyway. Blaming each other and not looking for a solution is a common cause of relationship problems. Does your partner always blame you and is unwilling to make compromises? Then it won’t take long before you become frustrated with the way things are going.
15. Prolonged or repeated absence
If your partner is often away, for example due to work, school or other obligations, this can lead to a feeling of isolation. You feel lonely in your relationship . That is why it is important to make time for each other, regardless of the hustle and bustle of daily life.
16. Mood swings
Mood swings can also be a cause of relationship problems, whatever the reason for the change in mood. If your partner suddenly becomes angry or suddenly refuses to say anything, you may start to feel desperate. This is especially true for a recurring pattern of mood swings.
17. Not listening to understand
Uhuh . If your partner always gives the same answer or does not give a clear answer to your questions, this can make you feel misunderstood. You want to communicate with your partner when necessary. If that is not possible because your partner is not emotionally present , this will cause problems.
18. Selfishness
Selfishness is also a common cause of relationship problems. This is what happens when your partner only thinks about themselves and doesn’t listen to your needs. That’s why it’s important you and your partner respect each other’s needs to keep the relationship healthy.
19. Lying regularly
Lying regularly is never fun. If your partner does it, that’s even worse. It creates a feeling of distrust.
20. Jealousy
If your partner is jealous of what you do and who you hang out with, this can make you feel pressured. Or at least it feels that way. You feel that there is tension in the relationship that you cannot deal with.
21. Improper parenting behavior
Incorrect parenting behavior is a reason why parents can clash with each other. You think X is good for the child, your partner thinks Y is better. Such clashes can lead to a fundamental disagreement.
22. Wrong priorities
Wrong priorities can also cause problems in a relationship. Spending a lot of time on hobbies while overlooking your partner can lead to dissatisfaction in your partner. A healthy balance is needed in the relationship between time for yourself and time for each other.
Also read: Doesn’t He Want to Get Married? Watch for These 19 Signs That Say So
23. Addictions
Addictions are difficult for relationships. An addiction can have a significant impact on the relationship as it can change you. It affects your behavior and emotions, making you not the best partner to be with.
24. Lack of responsibility
Failing to take responsibility for your actions can lead to frustration and anger in your partner. Both partners must be willing to take responsibility for their own part, otherwise the balance will be lost.
25. Contempt
If you look down on your partner or view your partner as inferior, you can expect this to lead to problems sooner or later. It’s disrespectful behavior . Because respect and appreciation are essential ingredients for a healthy relationship, it is not possible to show contempt in a relationship.
26. Manipulation
Manipulation and gaslighting are both often the reason why conflicts arise. They can have a damaging impact on the relationship because these behavior patterns are disastrous for self-esteem and self-confidence.
This list of relationship problems is far from complete, but it does give you a good idea of the problems people can face in a relationship. Sometimes the problems are small and can be solved, sometimes the small problems result in a permanent break . For some couples, the daily challenges and obstacles are a never-ending battle.
Moreover, identifying the real problem in the relationship is not the hardest part. It’s only a small part of the puzzle. How you deal with it and how you solve it are the difficult pieces of the puzzle. Now that you know what the causes are, you can recognize many of the typical and classic problems in relationships… and maybe even change them.
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