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Nervous about meeting your in-laws for the first time? Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal. Why? Well, first of all, there’s the pressure to make a good impression. You want them to like you and think you’re a good match for their son or daughter. That’s enough to make your heart beat faster, right?
Then there’s the thought of the unknown. You don’t know exactly what to expect, what topics of conversation are appropriate, or how they’ll react to you. It feels like a leap into the unknown, and that can be quite daunting. Plus, there’s the uncertainty of how your partner will behave during the meeting. You hope that they’ll support you and that everything will go smoothly. Because of that, it feels like a big moment in your relationship, and that naturally brings with it some nerves.
19 Tips for Meeting In-Laws
Meeting the in-laws for the first time can be exciting. But remember, they are probably just as nervous as you are. It’s all about building a positive relationship and eventually the tension will give way to trust and comfort. After all, parents want nothing more than a fun and trustworthy partner for their son or daughter. Here are 19 tips to make that first meeting with the parents unforgettable.
1. Choose your outfit carefully
If the first meeting is at a dinner party, dress appropriately. Choose clothes that are appropriate for the occasion. Don’t go overboard with perfume or makeup, but bring a warm smile.
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2. Be punctual
Let’s face it, no one likes to wait. So make sure you’re on time. Being late can give the impression that you’re not serious or that you’re not taking them seriously. Punctuality shows respect for someone’s time and shows that you’re reliable.
3. Bring a small gift
A small gesture of appreciation can do wonders. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but show that you appreciate the meeting. A bottle of wine for dinner, a side dish that you made yourself or a special beer for dad if he likes that.
4. Do your homework
Don’t go into the conversation with the parents unprepared. Ask in advance what can and can’t be discussed to avoid awkward situations. Avoid sensitive topics that you have strong opinions about. Keep the conversation light and airy. If you already know something about the parents, use that information to make the conversation flow smoothly.
5. Respect their rules and traditions
Every family has its own rules and traditions. No matter how strange they may be, show respect for these customs, even if they are different from your own family.
6. Give a firm handshake
A good handshake immediately gives a positive impression . It shows self-confidence and respect. Not too soft, not too firm, just right.
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7. Ask questions
This meeting is not an interview or a job interview. They want to get to know you, but you don’t have to prove yourself. See it as a chance to meet the people who raised your loved one. It’s also a chance to learn more about the person you want to share your life with. Ask questions of your own and show interest in what they have to say.
8. Avoid political or religious discussions
Some topics can quickly lead to conflict. It is wise to avoid political and religious discussions unless you are sure they are open to discussing them. But better not to start them.
9. Ask about their life stories
People love to talk about their lives. Ask about their experiences, memories, and adventures. This can lead to fascinating conversations and create a nice bond right away. The same goes for passions and interests. Ask about what makes them tick, and if you are genuinely interested, this can lead to interesting conversations .
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10. Give compliments
Everyone loves compliments, even parents. They know their child is great, but it’s always nice to hear it from others. Compliment their son or daughter, but also pay attention to other things. Just be careful not to overdo it, so it doesn’t seem like you’re sucking up to them.
11. Avoid using the phone during the conversation
During the conversation with your in-laws, your phone is not important. Looking at your phone can come across as rude. Focus your attention on the in-laws instead of your digital world.
12. Think positive
The thought of meeting the parents can be a little nerve-wracking at times, but don’t expect them to judge you or be critical. They just want a good partner for their child, nothing more. Expect them to be excited to meet you and curious about the person their son or daughter is so excited about. Expect it to be a positive experience.
13. Be genuine and authentic
It may sound cliché, but just be yourself. Your in-laws want to get to know the real you, not an acted version. Sincerity exudes trust and lays the foundation for a good relationship that will potentially last for many years to come.
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14. Pay attention to your body language
Words only tell part of the story. Your body language often speaks louder. Pay attention to your posture, facial expressions and gestures. Open and friendly body language shows that you are comfortable with who you are and the in-laws like to see that. Don’t let your nerves get the better of you, even if you find it super exciting. A healthy dose of self-confidence radiates positive energy.
15. Be open and listen well
Openness is the key to a successful meeting. Listen actively to what they have to say, ask questions and share your thoughts sincerely. An open conversation promotes connection. Eye contact is a powerful way to show that you are honest. It shows that you are paying full attention to what they are saying and that you are willing to make real contact.
16. Don’t talk too much about yourself
Of course they want to get to know you, but don’t overdo it. The conversation should be a balance between give and take. Also listen to their stories and experiences. So it helps a lot if you ask more questions than you answer.
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17. Show initiative
This is the time to show yourself from your best side. Don’t wait for others to thank you for the meal; be the first to express your appreciation. If there are tables to be cleared, offer to help. A simple but effective gesture. Show that you are attentive and helpful, and not just sitting back.
18. Show appreciation for the food
If there is one thing people are proud of, it is their cooking. Show genuine appreciation for the food they have prepared. It is a sign of respect.
19. Thank you for the hospitality
At the end of the meeting, don’t forget to thank your in-laws for their hospitality. Say that you enjoyed meeting the parents and that you’ve been looking forward to it for a while . Thank them for the time they spent with you.
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