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If you think that feeling unhappy is just a part of life, you are wrong. There is certainly something that can be done about it!
The problem is that you probably do a number of things that unconsciously make you very unhappy. These are one of those things that have crept into your mind along the way, so you don’t realize the devastating effect they have on your mood.
Fortunately, you are not alone. Everyone is so busy with life that they quickly forget to have a little fun.
On this page you can read which seventeen things you should avoid if you no longer want to feel unhappy. Most are much simpler than you think!
1. Worrying = feeling unhappy
We’ll start with a difficult one. One of the things that makes you most unhappy is worrying about yourself. And by that I don’t mean that you shouldn’t worry about things that are going on.
This involves worrying about things that are not yet an issue. Do you know that? That you wonder what on earth to do if X happens and then weeks later it turns out that all those worries were for nothing?
For example, I have sometimes worried about a man I was interested in. I could worry about it for hours if he hadn’t texted me back right away.
I analyzed everything I had said to him and I was convinced that he had turned on me. Now, ten years later, this man and I are still together.
When I once mentioned it to him, he laughed out loud at me. There wasn’t a second he doubted his feelings for me. I had really been worrying unnecessarily and I could have saved myself that feeling of unhappiness.
2. You want to have everything under control
You would prefer everything to go according to plan, but unfortunately that is not how it works. Some things are not under your control.
For example, suppose you have a birthday party planned in the park. Then of course it would be nice if the weather was nice that day.
Unfortunately, the weather is really typical now and something you can’t control. You must then be able to let go of the fact that it will do what it wants again.
So don’t worry about the weather and give yourself time to do something else. You’ll see what that does on your birthday.
The only thing you have control over is how you respond to certain situations. Make it easy for yourself and react in a relaxed manner, then you won’t feel unhappy.
Also Read: Higher Risk of Depression and Other Mental Illnesses
3. Holding a grudge = feeling unhappy
Constantly being angry at someone or feeling like someone owes you something is very tiring.
It’s also of no use to you at all. As long as you remain angry with the other person, it will not make them feel worse. You really only have yourself with it.
Feeling unhappy is certainly a result of holding a grudge. A well-known scholar has said that holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.
So save yourself the energy and let that grudge go. Let the negativity slide away and focus on your own things.
Once you notice how much better you feel after letting go of the grudge, you will be forever grateful!
4. You think everyone is the same as you
You align your expectations of other people with the choices you would make yourself and that is very dangerous. Every person is different.
The sooner you accept this, the sooner your unhappiness will stop. This way you prevent yourself from becoming angry, restless or disappointed when someone hurts you.
For example, consider a situation in which you are helping someone with a move. You spend your entire day carrying stuff and then you don’t get anything in return, even though you expected it.
It’s great that you are a decent person who would handle things differently, but you can’t sit around for too long with someone else not doing so.
Accept that everyone thinks differently about everything and that not everyone has the same values and ideals as you.
5. You want to be the same as everyone else = feeling unhappy
The reverse version is even worse. If you mirror yourself to others all the time, you will certainly feel unhappy.
The grass is always greener on the other side. In your mind, that one colleague always has a better life than yours, without you really having proof of this.
Realize that you only ever see a very small part of the other person’s life. As soon as you hyperfocus on what is so perfect about the other person, you lose sight of what is good in your own life.
Appreciate yourself for who you are, regardless of what others are. Focus on your own strengths and the things that are going well in your life.
Wouldn’t it be nice at all if everyone was the same in the world?
6. You set goals that are too high for yourself
Of course everyone can dream in life, but you can also be happy before all your dreams have come true. That is something you should certainly remember in today’s society.
For example, many people think that feeling unhappy will go away once they have achieved certain material goals. That they will be happy when there is a certain amount in their bank account or when they finally have that dream car on their doorstep.
I can tell you that doesn’t make any sense. Even people who have everything can still feel unhappy. In fact, these are often the people who are the most unhappy.
So leave these goals for what they are and live a little more in the moment. Look at the things you already have, a dear friend, your family around you or a job you like. Get your happiness from that.
7. For you the glass is always half empty = feeling unhappy
Some people are naturally pessimistic. No matter what scenario you present to them, they always see it from the darkest side.
Of course this will make you feel unhappy. Because strangely enough, the way you look at things also influences how everything will turn out.
If you think a situation is going to end badly, there is a much greater chance that it will actually happen.
This is because you unconsciously direct a situation in that direction. Looking at the example from earlier, when you worry about what a man thinks of you, you channel this with your pessimism.
Think carefully, when you think it will end badly, you behave very differently towards him than when you think you have a good chance. However?
Also Read: This Is How High-Functioning Depression Affects Your Romantic Relationship
8. You are alone
Even if you can be alone very well, you still need to have some people around you every now and then. That is nothing more than healthy.
When you are always alone, your world becomes very small. You have to rely on yourself and there is never anyone who can give you a different view of the world.
That will cause you to feel unhappy. Fortunately, this problem is quickly solved, all you have to do is look up some people.
This could be your family or hang out with your colleagues at the coffee machine for a while. Even when you think you are really alone, there is always someone somewhere who would like to have a cup of coffee with you.
Of course, it’s never too late to make new friends. You don’t even have to leave your house, the internet is full of places where you can find like-minded people.
9. You value material things too much = feeling unhappy
Of course it’s great to have a lot of stuff, but you can only get part of your happiness from that. Those new shoes are not going to comfort you when you are sad.
It can also make you very unhappy if those material things break or become unattainable. Your only goal is to repair those things or to get hold of them anyway.
This is a completely useless use of your life. The sooner you realize that material things are not going to make you happy, the sooner you can feel happy again.
So pay attention to the little things that make you happy. That cup of coffee with the newspaper on your free Saturday morning or the first rays of sunshine in spring.
If you can get your happiness from little things like this, you will have many more moments of happiness every day and that will cheer you up!
10. You don’t make time for the right things
You have to go to work about 8 hours a day and you also sleep another 8 hours. With a bit of luck you will still have 8 hours left per day to do something fun for yourself.
Unfortunately, many people lose their focus at that point, so they spend this time on things that do not make them happy at all.
Of course, every now and then you also have to do things that are not fun, such as doing your administration or cleaning up your house, but if all goes well you will still have enough time for things that are fun.
So take a good look at how many minutes of your daily time you really spend doing things that make you happy and add that up for a whole week. There is a good chance that the final total will be very low!
Make a list of the things that make you happy. Keep track of them next week and make sure you do at least four of the things on this list. Then your unhappiness will be over in no time!
11. You hang out with people who are unhappy
Happiness is contagious, but so is unhappiness. If you only hang out with people who are unhappy, sooner or later this will rub off on you.
Just think of that one place you once worked where all your coworkers were complaining all day long. Even though you didn’t have much to complain about, you were part of the complaining in no time.
That is only logical. If the people around you have nothing to say all day other than how unhappy they are, you start to believe that too.
It’s very hard to believe that the sky is still blue when someone tells you all day long that it isn’t. Don’t blame yourself and just hang out with more positive people.
You will soon notice that this will make an irreversible difference in your life. A day with a few positive people can already bring about a change.
12. You have no goals in life
If you stick too tightly to your goals you will feel unhappy, but the opposite is also true. If you have nothing to get out of bed for in the morning, it is difficult to be happy.
Even if you go to work all week with the aim of making it to the weekend, that will not make you happy. This means that you are only happy 5 days a week and only have a little fun 2 days.
So it’s time to set goals for every day. This can be quite difficult in the beginning, so it is best to start small.
Explore some new hobbies, sports and other activities. See what you like and see if you can really become good at it.
A goal can be something as small as cycling to work a little faster every day or making that nice colleague laugh every day.
13. You’re stuck in your past = feeling unhappy
People who are too preoccupied with the past will certainly feel unhappy. As a person you must be able to accept that the past is behind you.
If you spend all the time trying to change things, you won’t get anywhere. What happened has happened and you can only change what is to come.
So there’s no point in thinking ‘What if’ all the time. Firstly, you will never get this answer and secondly, you will never be able to do it any other way.
Try to learn from your past, but not get stuck in it. Focus on the future and the things you can do differently to avoid making the same mistake.
This way you prevent the person of today from being your past and from regretting that you did not spend your time better!
14. You don’t live a healthy life
How you treat your body has a lot of influence on your mind. If you don’t eat healthy, exercise enough or sleep, you will feel unhappy.
You only notice this when you start taking better care of yourself again. If you are kind to yourself and prepare a healthy meal, you will immediately feel much better than if you have just eaten a fatty meal.
Exercise can also have a major influence on how you feel. Even if you only exercise for a little while, you will still feel good about yourself because you have already done something productive for the day.
Healthy living also ensures that you have less stress, which will also make you feel happier. Sports can also be very social.
Choose to get some exercise with a team sport and you kill two birds with one stone!
15. You don’t dare to fail = feeling unhappy
When you are afraid of failure, you will never get the most out of yourself. You’re so afraid of making a mistake that you don’t even try to do anything anymore.
If you don’t do things even though you want to, you will feel unhappy. The whole time you are stopped by some kind of invisible wall that you have built yourself.
So it’s time to ditch this attitude as quickly as possible. Before you know it, you will never develop to your full potential, leaving you unhappy forever.
Failure is not bad at all. Everyone fails sometimes and you can learn from that. After all, how can you know what not to do if you always do everything right the first time?
Don’t be afraid of what others think of you and just go down mercilessly. You will find that breaking your own boundaries will make you very happy.
Also Read: Depression Partner Repulsion: Why Does It Happen?
16. You always need someone else’s approval
People who always seek someone else’s approval are often the most unhappy. It is super inconvenient to let your happiness depend on someone else in this way.
First of all, it doesn’t make sense to let someone else’s approval determine your happiness. What’s important is that you are happy.
You have to approve your own actions and deeds, it has nothing to do with anyone else. If you always let your happiness depend on others, you can only end up disappointed.
In addition, someone else’s approval is worth nothing if you are not even able to approve yourself. What are you going to do if the other person is suddenly no longer there? What will be left of you then?
So always start with yourself and then the others will come later. As long as you are happy, it doesn’t matter what others think about it.
17. You procrastinate = feeling unhappy
Nothing weighs on you as much as the feeling that you still have to do everything. Before you know it, things have piled up and you’ve lost all perspective.
It starts with a pile of laundry that you still have to fold and some overdue administration that you still have to catch up on. Before you know it, you’ll have a whole laundry list of things to do.
You’re so dreading getting started that the list just keeps getting longer. This only makes the problem worse. To the point where you just try to forget everything.
The only solution is to tackle the problem at the root. You have to start somewhere. Schedule a day off to catch up on your overdue chores.
Do you need more time? Then plan a few days or ask your friends for help. Once you cross off more and more to-do’s, you will naturally become less unhappy !
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