15 Tips to Make a Woman Feel Comfortable and Safe

Don’t wear earphones when you walk home alone. Don’t look at your phone when you’re outside in the dark. And if you do, stick to well-lit paths. Better yet, never walk alone at night. Women are bombarded with well-meaning advice about staying safe in public. All of these tips are specifically aimed at reducing the risk for women.

The problem is that all these suggestions are aimed at women. The responsibility lies with them, while it is men who should be responsible for women – just like men – feeling safe everywhere. Making women feel safe and comfortable is a job for men, not women. Have you ever wondered as a man how to make a woman feel safe? We will tell you more about it.

Why is it important for a woman to feel comfortable and safe?

Unfortunately, we live in a society where many women have to be constantly on guard. Things like unwanted sexual harassment , street harassment and stalking are things that almost every woman has experienced. So it makes sense that women are already aware of the safety strategies, because they can quickly feel unsafe and uncomfortable. But that is only one perspective, because these women are not being attacked, hissed at and aggressively approached by ghosts.

It is the men who restrict the freedom of movement of women. Although you as a man may not engage in catcalling at all , you are part of a group that engages in it. And so it can happen that you have no bad intentions, but women do feel unsafe around you. Either because of your suggestions, actions or statements.

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15 Tips to Make Her Feel Safe

When it comes to dating, we’re talking about a meeting between two strangers . Women are always vigilant and cautious in these situations – because of their own experiences and those of others. If you want to make her feel comfortable and safe around you, we’ve put together some ideas to help you do just that.

1. Meet somewhere in public

Put yourself in the shoes of your female date. Where would you rather meet: at a stranger’s house or somewhere in public with people around? The answer is obvious: in public is safer. If you have met in a group or in a private setting before, then this is a different story. But in any other situation, you reassure a woman by meeting in a public place, for example in a café, park or museum. In these places you give a woman an easy exit to leave, if something goes wrong.

Don’t suggest meeting at your place for the first time. She doesn’t know you well yet and by meeting in your private environment, you can make her feel uncomfortable and unsafe. After meeting a few times, she will have built up trust in you, so that at some point you can also meet at other places.

2. Respect her boundaries

It sounds pretty obvious, but there are situations where men don’t respect a woman’s boundaries. For example, if she insists on paying her half of the bill , respect that. And then you don’t want to pay the bill ‘as a surprise’. Do you want to give her a hug on the first date? Then look for signals she has given that show she would welcome physical contact. It is probably meant well, but that doesn’t mean women should just accept it.

Women set certain boundaries and you as a man must respect them. If you do not do this in the beginning as a man, a woman may think that you will cross those same boundaries in the future for more serious matters, such as family ties, children and sexual intimacy. If you respect her boundaries, you show that you respect her.

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3. Give the right compliments

Many men often give compliments based on appearance. Especially with sexually suggestive compliments you have to be careful, so don’t give compliments about her body. If you have already been intimate and you are sure that she likes to talk about her body and sex, then this is of course possible. But especially if you just met a woman, it is important that you give compliments about the things she has made a choice about. This shows that you are attentive and notice how she presents herself to the world.

Do you still want to compliment her on her appearance? Then tell her that the color of her top suits her so well or that she is wearing a beautiful bracelet. These are things that she has made a choice about. If you make a comment about her beautiful curves, this can make her feel uncomfortable. This indicates that you have been staring at her body.

4. Don’t ask private questions

Are you going on a first date or having a first conversation with a female colleague? Be careful not to ask too many personal questions right away . Women can quickly feel unsafe by asking such questions. If you ask a question that strikes the wrong chord, you can immediately say something like: “I’m sorry if that question is too much. Sometimes I forget what’s appropriate.” You can then move on to another topic.

Whatever you do in conversations with women you don’t know, keep your questions light at first. After a few conversations or a few dates, she’ll feel more comfortable and you’ll definitely know when it’s time to take the conversations a bit deeper and more serious .

5. Never get angry

In general, men are physically much stronger than women. This fact makes women feel unsafe more quickly in a situation with a man than the other way around. If the man wants to do something to them physically, they cannot physically do anything about it. If you get frustrated or angry, a woman will quickly recognize this as a dangerous situation. The reaction that follows: flee. And she will not only want to leave, but also not want to see you anymore.

Even if you’re angry at someone else on a date, a woman may sense that you’re not stable enough to keep your emotions in check. And that’s a red flag . Did the waiter forget your drink or did you get a ticket for parking in the wrong place? No matter how frustrated you are, never get angry in front of a woman. Stay calm: getting angry never helps solve a problem.

6. Date plan

Insecurity often goes hand in hand with uncertainty. Are you going on a first date with a woman? Make sure it is well organized. Women feel more at ease if the logistics and planning are arranged in advance. It is of course nice to go on a date spontaneously, but this can make a woman feel uncomfortable. She does not know what is going to happen and this puts her on edge.

7. Let her drive herself

Meeting somewhere public? Don’t pick her up from home, but let her arrange her own transportation. If the date doesn’t go well, she always has a backup plan. Her transportation is a primary way for her to get herself out of a bad situation and also gives her the opportunity to end a date on her terms .

Because of the nasty men in this world, she may not want you to pick her up and drop her off the old-school way. Because that way you know where she lives, which could put her in a vulnerable and dangerous situation. So meet somewhere you can both get to by public transportation or meet somewhere you can both drive to in your own car.

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8. Build a rapport first

When you are dating a woman, it is important to build mutual trust. Through what you say and do, you can make a woman feel safe and comfortable. You build rapport by showing personal interest in her.

• Always ask her how she is doing.
• I mean it sincerely.
• Try to understand her points of view.
• Empathize with her.
• Share a lot of yourself.
• Include her (digitally) in your life.

When a woman feels comfortable with you, she can let her walls down. By working on trust, she doesn’t have to be on edge all the time.

9. Talk positively about friends and family

By talking positively about your friends and family, you gain a woman’s trust. Especially if you have mutual friends, it can put a woman at ease if you talk positively about them. If you talk badly about one of these friends, there is a big chance that you will do the same about her. And that will make her feel uncomfortable.

Also, don’t talk badly about your ex(es). Of course, it’s not wise to talk about your ex during the first few dates, but if you do, don’t talk badly about the other person. Men who always talk about their ‘crazy’ exes often have the biggest share in the breakup.

10. Be consistent and always tell the truth

People are constantly looking for inconsistent behavior. This can make you feel like something is wrong. Women in particular are often more guarded and more attuned to behavior that is not completely in line. It is therefore important to be consistent in what you say. If she detects a lie or a half-truth, she will be more likely to think that everything else you said is a lie too.

Lying and cheating is of course never good, even if they are white lies . Because she doesn’t know you yet, she immediately thinks that she can’t trust you. The result is that she won’t feel safe at all. Of course, this is also not a good basis for the rest of a possible relationship.

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11. Make her life a little easier

Are you in a budding relationship ? Then it’s not over yet. Even then, there are certain things you can do to put a woman at ease. For example, offer to take over a difficult task from her. Or if she doesn’t dare to do something, do it together with her. Or take it off her hands – if she would like that. All these actions show that you are a reliable man.

12. Keep your promises

An easy way to show that you are trustworthy and that she can count on you is to keep your promises. If you give her your word and tell her that you will do this and that, then you better actually do it. It is an easy way to show that she can trust you. And this will put her at ease. Untrustworthy men put women in uncomfortable situations.

13. Let her know you’re thinking of her

If you are going to be apart for a while, it is wise to check in regularly. Send her a text or call her to ask if everything is okay or just to let her know that you are there. This lets her know that you are thinking of her, which takes away any fears she may have. Doing this regularly will make her feel more comfortable when she is with you.

14. Touch her regularly

When you are in a relationship, there are also ways to show that she can feel comfortable and safe with you. This is largely done by showing physical affection . Give her a kiss, a hug or touch her leg, arm or hand regularly. This shows her that you are by her side.

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15. Listen attentively

Many women look for a man who listens attentively. Is she talking about a problem at work or with her friends? Make sure you are actively listening. This means listening to understand, not to respond and come up with a solution. Take in everything she says and pay attention to her body language.

The goal of active listening goes beyond just fully understanding what she is saying. It lets her know that you have her attention, which means you are responding to her needs to make her feel more comfortable.

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