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Have you met someone you would like to start a relationship with? Then most people can say quite quickly what they are looking for in someone else and what qualities they would most like to see in their (future) partner. However, there are also things that people value less in someone else and that make you less suitable for a relationship. Or as is also said, qualities that make you undateable .
When are you ‘undateable’?
Undateable is an English term that expresses that you have characteristics that make you unsuitable as a partner. It comes down to the fact that you are not a popular person to go on a date with and that you have certain characteristics that are not appreciated by others. These also ensure that others do not want to date or meet you.
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14 Traits That Make You Undateable
A group of researchers from several universities in the United States and Australia decided that there was plenty of research on the qualities people want in a partner, but relatively little on what they don’t want. What are the qualities people don’t want in a partner? What are the deal breakers when looking for a partner? And what characteristics make you undateable? The researchers combined six separate studies to answer these questions.
The researchers found that singles (particularly women) identified a range of traits that make someone undateable. On average, there were more than five per person. And these traits outweigh the positive ones, the researchers found. “People have a range of traits that they avoid in partners—deal breakers,” they write in the study, published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin . They also note: “When evaluating a potential partner, negative traits outweigh positive traits.”
If you’re having bad luck in love, it could be due to a number of characteristics that make you undateable. Based on the research of more than 6,500 participants, there are fourteen characteristics that could be the reason why you are less attractive to date.
1. Sloppy or unkempt appearance
If you don’t take care of yourself or don’t care much about your appearance, others will quickly be put off by it. According to the research, it is the number one characteristic that makes you undateable. For 67% of the participants, this is a downright turn-off. Most (potential) partners like to see a well-groomed person who looks nice, makes an effort to look good and smells nice. Take care of yourself and the other person will certainly be impressed.
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2. Being lazy
Being lazy is not an attractive trait for most people. According to the survey, 66% of respondents named this negative trait as one that makes you less suitable as a potential partner. If you bring a date home and there is a huge mess in your house because you are too lazy to clean up? There is a big chance that the other person will be put off.
3. Too much attention needed
When you are in a relationship, it is logical that you give and receive attention. However, there is a limit. When you ask for too much attention, this can be fatal for your chances on the dating market. A high maintenance type is not something people are looking for. For 63% of the respondents, this is a deal breaker that they take into account when choosing a partner.
4. No sense of humor
A proper sense of humor is very important and is highly valued by many people when it comes to qualities a partner should have. Being able to laugh together, making someone else laugh, the necessary self-mockery: it is all important to have. If you do not have all of that, you are less attractive as a partner.
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5. Lives too far away
One thing that doesn’t always help a relationship is where you live. Does your (potential) date or partner live hours away from you? Then this doesn’t make the relationship any easier. Even before the relationship has a chance, it can fall apart. For just under half of the participants (49%), a large distance is a dealbreaker. People want to see each other regularly and if you have to spend hours in the car or on public transport to do so, it doesn’t make things any better.
6. Bad sex
Something that can also kill a budding relationship? That is bad sex. Do you have different sexual preferences or is the intimacy not quite right? Then this can ensure that you are not seen as relationship material by the other. Note: sex is of course not the only thing a relationship is about, but it is an important aspect that people attach a lot of importance to.
7. Little to no self-confidence
When you don’t have much self-confidence, it can cause problems in a relationship. This can lead to you constantly needing confirmation to be able to function. But it can also lead to you often doubting yourself and the relationship. A lack of self-confidence is in seventh place of characteristics that make you undateable.
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8. Watches too much television or plays games
Does your (future) partner always want to watch TV or play games? And doesn’t it look like he or she does something other than sit on the couch with a remote or controller in hand? Then that obviously doesn’t offer an attractive prospect if you’re in a relationship with this person. For 33% of respondents, this is a trait that is absolutely not attractive.
9. Little interest in sex
Sex and intimacy are simply part of a good relationship. Do you have some difficulty with this or do you not need it as much as others? Then this can also become a problem that can even mean the end of a relationship – before it has even started. A low sex drive is a dealbreaker in a new partner for a third of respondents.
10. Being Stubborn
Someone who is very stubborn and likes to push through his own opinion is not always easy to deal with other people. If your partner or future lover experiences you as such, this can lead to major clashes. Especially if the other person is also quite stubborn. Stubbornness is seen as a negative characteristic by 33% of the respondents.
11. Talking too much or too little
A common complaint, voiced by both men and women, is that someone communicates too much or too little. For 23% of people, talking too much is a dealbreaker when choosing a partner. Being too quiet is a dealbreaker for 14%. Some people just have the habit of talking a lot, while others barely say a word. This is something that singles can get annoyed about . At least, for them it is reason enough not to start a relationship with someone.
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12. Be Bot
Being curt, commanding, or a deterrent tone: being blunt is a turn-off for many singles. According to the survey, 14% of respondents cited being blunt as a reason they wouldn’t date someone. Now, being blunt is a broad description of behavior that’s hard to pin down, but if you’re insensitive, judgmental, or overly assertive, this could be one of the reasons you’re undateable to others.
13. Children
Not wanting children or already having children is a dealbreaker for many people. For 14% it is a dealbreaker if someone does not want to have children, while 13% do not want to date someone who already has children. This makes sense, because if your partner wants children and you do not, this can become problematic in the future.
14. Sportsmanship
Someone who plays sports a lot can be attractive to an athletic person, but there are also types who don’t like it at all or who don’t find an athletic body attractive at all . For 9% of the respondents, an athletic person is a turn-off, while 6% wouldn’t want to date someone who isn’t athletic.
Please note that not everyone thinks the same and that not all people attach the same value to certain ‘deal breakers’. What may be seen as an obstacle for one person, does not necessarily have to be an objection for another. This differs per person and certainly remember that there is a lid for every pot. Also for yours.
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