14 Tips for Topics to Converse on Your Date

You are sitting across from your date in a cozy café. Expecting a lot, you try to start a nice conversation. You start with some simple questions about work and interests, but you quickly notice that the answers are curt. There is little depth to the conversation. You start to shift nervously in your chair, while you go through all possible topics of conversation in your head. Maybe you should talk about the news of the day or about your own hobbies, but somehow nothing really seems to work.

You start to feel more and more uncomfortable and desperately try to find a strategy to break the silences. While you are visibly thinking about what to say, you see that your date is also increasingly forced to smile and even rolls his eyes once. You feel awkward and insecure, because the time is ticking. You think: what is a good conversation topic for a date?

The date conversation

Dating conversations can sometimes feel like an acrobatic exercise on a tightrope. It’s a delicate balance between finding common interests and showing your personality, without going overboard or into too much detail. In that sense, finding the right tone in a conversation with someone you’ve never met before is a real art. You’re constantly balancing between talking a lot and a little, between superficial and deep topics. If you’re not careful, you can easily slip and fall into one of the many traps that lie in wait.

You can talk too much about yourself and lose sight of the other person. Or you can talk too little and leave awkward silences. It can also happen that you end up in a boring and predictable conversation, where you ask and answer all the standard questions, without really gaining any new insights. And then we haven’t even mentioned the nervous factor.

The pressure to make a good impression on your date can cause you to shut down and say nothing or to be loose and say everything you didn’t want to say. The uncertainty about what the other person thinks of you can prevent you from really showing yourself. Because what if you’re honest and your date is put off by that? Dating can be tough.

The stages of a date

Date conversations usually consist of several parts that gradually flow into each other. In general, these are the basic components that are present in most date conversations:

• Getting to know each other: the phase in which you meet for the first time and make small talk.
• Interests: You talk about the things you do, such as each other’s interests and hobbies.
• Passions: You talk about things you are passionate and enthusiastic about.
• Funny anecdotes: you share funny stories to lighten the mood and break the ice.
• Future plans: you talk about what your future plans are and what you still want to do in life.
• Deeper topics: You talk about deeper topics such as personal details, views and experiences.

In general, these are the basic elements of a typical date. As the date progresses and you get to know each other better, you can show more of yourself. You can talk enthusiastically about your passions and share funny stories, but sometimes things don’t go as you expected.

The conversation can be a maze

Sometimes a date conversation goes effortlessly and you find your way to a deeper and personal conversation together. But other times it is not so easy and takes a bit more effort.

Finding topics of conversation on a date is like finding the right path in a maze. Sometimes you think you have found the right path, but you still end up at a dead end. You keep searching and trying, while walking different paths, hoping that you will finally find that one route. A date is no different.

It can be frustrating to keep running into a dead end. But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. Sometimes it just takes a little more time to find the way. But if you persevere and are creative in your search, you will eventually find the right path that leads to an exciting conversation.

14 Best Date Conversation Topics

Whether you’re on your first date or have been on a few dates, good conversation is crucial if you want to go beyond the first date. Choosing the right conversation topics can make the difference between a fun, exciting evening and an awkward, uncomfortable situation. So what should you talk about? Here are fourteen topics that can help you have an interesting and engaging conversation on your next date.

1. Family and upbringing

Ask about your date’s family and what their upbringing was like. Do they have a sibling? This will help you get to know each other better and give you more insight into your date’s background. Talking about your childhood can also help you discover what you have in common.

• What’s the funniest memory you have of your family from when you were young?
• If you could have any celebrity as a parent, who would it be?
• What was the craziest or funniest thing that happened to you while on vacation with your family?
• What’s the most embarrassing situation you’ve ever been in with your parents?
• If you were to make a Netflix series about your family, who would be the main character and why?
• Which family tradition do you like most and why?
• What’s the funniest lie you’ve ever told your parents?
• Looking back on your teenage years now, what’s the most embarrassing memory you have?
• Did you ever sneak candy out of the kitchen cupboards when you were younger?
• What was your favorite children’s book or series and why?
• Who is the funniest person in your family and what makes this person so funny?

ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates

2. Career and ambition

Is your date working on a successful career? What are their plans for the future? These questions can help you understand what someone’s motivations and passions are. You can also find out if you have similar visions for the future.

• If you had unlimited money and time, what kind of career would you like to have?
• If you were the boss of the company you work for for one day, what would you change?
• If you could swap jobs with someone close to you for a day, who would you choose and why?
• Which quality about yourself do you think is most valuable for your career?
• If you could learn one new skill relevant to your job, what would it be?
• If you could create a new position in your company, what would it entail?
• If you were to write a book about your career, what would the title be?

3. Travel and adventures

Traveling is often a passion for many people and can be a great topic to talk about. Ask about your date’s favorite trips and their travel bucket list . What are they still dying to see? Do you have similar interests in travel destinations and do you see a possibility of traveling together in the future?

• What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you on a trip?
• If you could travel around the world for a year, where would you go?
• Have you ever eaten anything unusual during your travels?
• Have you ever gotten lost on a trip?
• Do you have a favorite holiday destination?
• Have you ever been on a backpacking trip? And what was it like?
• What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever packed for a trip?
• Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling?

4. Hobby’s an interest

Everyone loves to talk about their hobbies or interests. So ask questions about them. Ask about your date’s hobbies and interests and what drives them to pursue them. Can you spend time together doing the same activities? Or do you understand why your date has that interest?

• What hobbies did you have when you were younger?
• Do you have something you love to do that no one else does?
• What kind of things do you like to do in your spare time?
• What hobby would you like to take up if you had more time?
• What is your favorite hobby and how did you get started?
• If you had to kill an hour doing something, what would you do?
• What is your favorite book/movie/series and why?
• If you won the lottery, what would you do in your free time?
• What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?

5. Funny stories and experiences

Laughter is often the key to a good date. Ask for funny stories or experiences from your date and share your own authentic stories. This way you can laugh and relax together, while the conversation remains light and playful.

• What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?
• Have you ever had a ridiculous haircut that you now wouldn’t wear?
• What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in public?
• Have you ever done something that you thought was really cool as a kid, but now seems really stupid?
• What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you at work?
• Have you ever accidentally broken something very important?
• Have you ever entered a competition where you were totally unqualified to participate?
• What’s the weirdest food combination you’ve tried?

ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’

6. Favorite TV shows and movies

Ask about your date’s favorite TV shows and movies. Do you have similar interests in entertainment? Can you plan a movie night together?

• What is your favorite TV show of all time? And why?
• What was the last movie you saw?
• If you had to choose one series to watch forever, what would it be?
• If you could be any character from a TV show or movie, who would you want to be and why?
• What kind of movies or TV shows do you enjoy watching the most?
• What’s the best movie you’ve ever seen in the cinema?
• What TV show did you watch the most as a child?
• If you could have one superpower from a movie or TV show, what would it be?
• If you had to recommend a series or movie to me that you’ve seen, which one would it be and why?

7. Health

Health is important to many people. Also for your date? You will only find out if you ask about it. For example, ask about healthy habits. You can also talk about your own health and what you do to stay healthy. This can be a good topic to discuss, especially if you both find health important.

• Have you ever tried a detox diet?
• What’s your favorite way to stay active?
• Do you have a favorite healthy recipe that you like to prepare?
• Have you ever been to a yoga class?
• What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day?
• What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to stay healthy?
• What is your best tip for a healthy lifestyle?

8. Pets and animals

Animals can play an important role in a person’s life and it’s a fun topic to talk about. You can also talk about your own experiences with pets and what you like about animals in general.

• Did you have any pets growing up?
• If you could have a pet right now, what would it be and why?
• What’s the funniest thing your pet has ever done?
• Dogs, cats or birds: which do you like best and why?
• Have you ever had an exotic pet or would you like to have one?
• What’s the cutest animal you’ve ever seen?
• If you could communicate with any animal, which animal would you choose and what would you say?

ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things

9. Fun activities to do together

Ask about the activities your date likes to do and if there are any activities you could do together. This will help you find out if you have similar interests and if there is a possibility of doing something fun together in the future .

• Have you ever done an escape room?
• What’s the most fun outdoor activity you’ve ever done?
• Have you ever taken a cooking class?
• What sport do you like to do or watch?
• When was the last time you went to an amusement park?
• Do you like board games? If so, which one is your favorite?
• Have you ever been on a road trip? If so, what was your favorite destination?
• What is the nicest city you have ever visited and what did you like about it?

10. Favorite music and concerts

Music is something that everyone has an opinion about. What role does music play in your date’s life? Whatever the answer, it’s a fun topic to talk about. You can also find out if you have the same taste in music.

• What is your favorite genre of music and why?
• What was the first concert you ever attended?
• Which artist or band have you seen live most often?
• What music did you listen to when you were younger?
• If you had to listen to one artist or band for the rest of your life, who would it be?
• Have you ever met an artist you admired?
• What music do you like to listen to when you’re feeling stressed?
• What was the last concert you attended and what was it like?
• When you go to a festival, does it matter which artists or bands perform?

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11. Politics and society

Politics and social issues can sometimes be sensitive, but can also lead to interesting discussions. Do you dare to discuss this topic during a date? Then ask your date about their political views and their opinions on current issues. Do you see eye to eye on important issues?

• If you had the chance to change one law, what would it be and why?
• If you were in charge, what would you change about our education system?
• What are the key political issues that matter to you?
• If you had power in the Netherlands for one day, what would you change first?
• If you were given the chance to solve one social injustice, which one would you choose and why?
• What do you think is the biggest challenge facing our generation?

12. Religion and spirituality

Religion and spirituality are topics that are sometimes overlooked on a date, but they can be important to someone’s life and identity. What are your date’s religious or spiritual beliefs? And how do they impact their life?

• Which book on religion or spirituality has had a major impact on you and why?
• Which religion or spiritual practice piques your curiosity and why?
• Believing in life after death, what do you think about it?
• Do you think religion or spirituality can help make the world a better place?
• What is your favorite religious or spiritual festival and why?
• Which religion is most interesting to you and why?
• Have you ever experienced something that made you believe in a higher power or something spiritual?
• Are you looking for spiritual growth? If so, how do you go about it?
• What is the most important lesson you have learned from your religion or spiritual quest?

13. Environment and sustainability

Many people are concerned with eco-friendliness and sustainability. Ask your date about their views on the environment and what they are doing to reduce their carbon footprint. Do you share the same values?

• What do you think is the easiest way to live sustainably?
• Which eco-friendly product can you absolutely not do without?
• What was the last thing you did to reduce your carbon footprint?
• If you could make just one change to your daily routine to live more sustainably, what would it be?
• What is the most interesting thing you have learned about the environment or sustainability?
• What do you think is the biggest obstacle to sustainable living? And how do you think we can solve this?
• Do you have a favorite sustainable company or brand?
• What is the last sustainable initiative you participated in?

ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive

14. Human rights and equality

These topics are important in the modern world of 2023 and it is interesting to know what your date’s views are. Ask about their views on equality and human rights and what they think about it.

• What does human rights mean to you?
• If you could create a new human right, what would it be?
• What book, film or song changed your view on human rights?
• Which human rights issue do you consider most important and why?
• What can everyone do to contribute to a more equal society?
• Have you ever done or said something that you later thought was inappropriate with regard to equality?
• What important lessons have you learned about human rights or equality from someone who is different from you?
• Do you think there will ever be a world where everyone has the same rights and opportunities? Why or why not?

As you can see, there are many topics you can discuss on a date. The most important thing to remember is that every date is different. The conversation topic that works on one date may be a complete failure on the next. So don’t worry about finding the perfect conversation topic.

Ultimately, it is important to be the most interesting version of yourself, the cheerful and enthusiastic version of yourself that is curious about the person you are talking to. That way, the conversation will flow more naturally and you will be open to new ideas and perspectives.

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