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You’ve been dating someone for a while and you feel that the relationship is slowly developing. Things are going well. But despite that, you want to get clarity about where you stand and whether you are exclusive. So you want to have a conversation about it and start talking about exclusivity. And yes, that can be quite exciting.
1. Choosing the right time
First of all, it is important to have the conversation at the right time. The timing determines how easy or difficult it is. This means that you are both comfortable with each other and that you have been dating for a while.
2. Clarify personal expectations
Before you start the conversation, it is important to be clear about your personal expectations. Think about what exclusivity means to you and what kind of relationship you are looking for. Talk about this openly with your partner and listen carefully to his or her expectations.
- Ask questions to find out what his or her expectations are.
- Be prepared to make your own expectations clear as well.
3. Prepare for the conversation
To make the conversation about exclusivity go well, it’s important to prepare well. Think about what you want to say and what questions you want to ask. It can also help to think about possible reactions from your partner and how you might respond to them. The goal is to communicate openly and honestly, so be prepared to express your feelings and listen to your lover’s as well.
4. Create a relaxed setting
A relaxed setting is essential during the conversation about exclusivity. Choose a moment when you are both calm and relaxed. This can be during a walk in the park or during a nice dinner. The most important thing is that you both feel comfortable and can talk openly.
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5. Open communication and honesty
Open communication and honesty are key when talking about exclusivity. Be honest about your feelings and expectations . Also, listen carefully to what your partner has to say and take his or her feelings seriously. The goal is to understand where you both stand in your relationship.
6. Listening to the other person
An important part of any conversation is listening. But when it comes to exclusivity, it is even more important. Give the other person space to share thoughts and feelings, without interruption or judgment. Don’t interrupt and try to understand what the other person is saying.
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7. Respect each other’s boundaries
Discuss together what your expectations are and what you find comfortable within the relationship. Respect each other’s boundaries and make agreements that are acceptable to both parties.
- Let the other person know that you respect his or her boundaries.
- Be open and honest about your own boundaries.
8. Dealing with different points of view
It may happen that you and your partner have different views on exclusivity . You think differently about it than your new love. That can become a problem. Nevertheless, it is wise to deal with it in a respectful and mature way. Try to understand each other’s perspective and be open to compromise. Respect each other’s opinion, even if you disagree with it.
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9. Future plans and commitment
The conversation about exclusivity also offers the opportunity to discuss future plans and commitment. What are your expectations for the future? And do you have the same goals? Maybe you really want children, while the other absolutely does not.
10. Discussing reactions and emotions
During the conversation about exclusivity, different emotions can come up. From sadness and fear to odor and excitement. It is important to discuss these reactions and emotions. Give each other space to express feelings and try to understand and accept them. Open communication helps to prevent misunderstandings.
11. Schedule a follow-up conversation
If you have decided to have the conversation about exclusivity and you find that it does not lead to a definitive answer right away, it is wise to schedule a follow-up conversation. Do not continue all the time when it is clear that there is no clarity. A second conversation allows you to talk further and discuss any doubts, concerns or questions that have not been answered.
12. Give space after the conversation
After the conversation about exclusivity, it is important to give the other person some space to think about what you have discussed. The other person may need time. Is exclusivity something they are ready for at this point? Sometimes it just takes a little more time and thought to come to a conclusion. Give that space and do not pressure the other person.
13. Next steps if exclusivity is agreed
Once you’ve both come to an agreement to be exclusive, you can start talking about the next steps in your relationship . This could include becoming an official couple, letting your friends and family know, or making plans for the future.
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