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It is a beautiful spring day. The sun is shining brightly, the sky is blue and the birds are chirping happily in the trees. All around you you see colorful blossoms, buds budding and green grass gently moving in the wind. You take a seat on a bench in the park and while you enjoy the sun on your face, someone comes and sits next to you. After a short chat you find out that you are both divorced and have had a whole life behind you. It clicks .
You decide to meet for coffee later in the week and after meeting a few times you both realize that feelings have arisen. But despite your shared experiences and interests, you’re both reluctant to commit to a traditional relationship. You want to enjoy your own space and freedom, but still have the friendship and company of each other. That’s why you think about it carefully: might a lat relationship be an option?
What is a lat relationship?
Relationships take all kinds of forms, with increasing deviations from the traditional types. Some couples wait until after marriage to move in together. Some couples live together after two months but never marry. And yet other couples are in a relationship, but continue to live apart. Because the latter form of relationship has become so popular, it has been given its own name: living apart together , also known as the lat relationship.
A lat relationship is a relationship in which you and another person have a romantic relationship, but do not live together and maintain your own individual living space. It is therefore a form of relationship in which you and your partner consciously choose to spend part of your life separately, while still having a committed relationship with each other.
In a lat relationship you can maintain your own lifestyle and independence, while also enjoying the benefits of a romantic relationship, such as sharing fun, experiences and support. In a long-term relationship you can choose to see or speak to each other regularly, such as every weekend, but you can also spend time alone together, for example by planning holidays or weekends away.
12 benefits of lat relationship
A lat relationship is not suitable for everyone. However, it can be a good option for some people, especially if you value your individual freedom and independence. The lat relationship avoids many of the traditional relationship problems, while you live together and maintain your own freedom. Being together without living together offers a range of benefits. These are some of those benefits that are unique to the lat relationship.
1. You can isolate yourself
It is common knowledge that in a relationship it is important that both partners get time for themselves. Without time for yourself you lose your own identity and at a certain point independence becomes hard to find. In a lat relationship you have more time for yourself and you can isolate yourself when you want. This gives you the opportunity to process emotions in peace, but also to give more to the relationship.
2. You become less irritated
Living with someone involves a number of practical problems. This is especially the case if you and your partner have different habits. The unequal distribution in the household is an example of this. In a normal relationship this can cause irritation and subsequent disagreements. With a lat relationship you are much less bothered by this, because you only have to deal with it part-time. The impact is therefore much smaller.
3. You remain independent
Some people value their independence very highly . In a lat relationship you can live your own life and have the freedom to do what you want without having to worry about the other person’s opinion or wishes. For example, if you travel a lot for work, you can still be in a relationship.
4. You long for each other more
Repeating the same routines can cause a relationship to fall into a rut. The structure of a normal relationship can also have a negative effect on sex life. After all, you desire your partner less if he or she is on your lips 24 hours a day. In a lat relationship you spend less time together, which means the desire for your partner is greater when you see him again. This advantage of the lat relationship ensures that it remains exciting when you see each other again.
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5. You don’t take each other for granted
Anyone who has been in a committed relationship knows that at some point it is the most normal thing in the world to spend time with your partner. You take your partner for granted . The realization that your partner is always by your side can make you forget to show affection for your partner. The lat relationship can prevent this.
6. You have fewer disagreements
When you spend less time with your partner, there is less to argue about. The advantage of the lat relationship is that you and your partner retain a certain degree of freedom, which leaves more room for your own things. This freedom alone ensures fewer disagreements. Moreover, you demand less from each other when you have a lat relationship.
7. Your finances stay separate
A lat relationship can be financially attractive because you do not have to pay for shared costs. This can be especially beneficial if your partner has a high spending pattern that you do not want to contribute to. Despite the fact that there are double costs for rent or mortgage, keeping your own home can also provide a financial advantage.
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8. You have more time for yourself
In a lat relationship, you and your partner have more time for yourself , which can help prevent stress and burnout. You have the time and space to follow your own interests, spend time with friends and family, or simply stay home and relax.
9. You have more privacy
A slat relationship provides more privacy. You can decide for yourself what you want to share with the other person. This can make you feel more comfortable and allow you to set your own boundaries. If you don’t want to share some parts of your life with others, you can do so with a lat relationship.
10. You pay more attention to other people
In a lat relationship you can pay more attention to other people and maintain relationships without having to worry about jealousy or other relationship problems. For example, if you have a good friend with whom you spend a lot of time, you don’t have to worry about the impact on your relationship.
11. You can travel more
Do you want to retain the freedom and ability to travel? With a lat relationship it is negotiable to be absent for a long period of time. A lat relationship can give you the freedom to travel and have adventures without having to worry about leaving your partner behind. For example, if you go abroad for work for a few months while the other person stays at home, you can continue to see each other during holidays.
12. You have less responsibility
You have fewer responsibilities towards each other. The pressure is less and expectations are lower. This can help reduce stress and make you enjoy the time you spend together more.
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For whom the lat relationship can be beneficial
Lat relations are not the standard. That’s because most people are not interested in this way of life with a partner. The relationship form can be beneficial for some people, such as this:
1. Career people
If you are obsessed with your career and ambitious, you can reap the benefits of a lat relationship. Living separately allows you to fully concentrate on your work. You can focus on achieving your goals without worrying about the responsibilities that come with living together .
2. Independent people
People who are naturally independent and need their own space may prefer a cross-country relationship over a traditional relationship. With a lat relationship you enjoy your autonomy and can make your own decisions. You hardly have to take your partner’s needs and wishes into account in many choices you make.
3. People with other obligations
If you are a parent or caregiver for a family member or have another responsibility that prevents you from living together, a lat relationship may be the best solution. In fact, sometimes a lat relationship is the only option. This way you can fulfill your obligations and maintain a relationship at the same time.
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4. Introverts
Introverts often need me-time to recharge. In a lat relationship you can find the balance between being with your partner and your need for personal time.
5. Divorced parents
As a single parent, you can consider a long-term relationship if you want to focus on raising your children, but also want a relationship. The lat relationship can be a good solution if you do not want to merge the two families or if you want to keep the relationship separate from your children.
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6. Seniors
Elderly people who may have been married before may consider a lat relationship if they do not want to get married or live together. A lat relationship gives them the opportunity to enjoy a relationship without the pressure of living with a partner. The lat relationship is a growing trend among the elderly. More and more elderly people prefer this form of relationship over a more traditional relationship.
In recent decades, social acceptance of lat relationships has increased. This may have contributed to the fact that more people are choosing a lat relationship. They don’t have to worry as much about social pressure or stigma.
While it is true that there is an increase in lat relationships among the elderly, this does not mean that this form of relationship is exclusive to the elderly. Lat relationships are suitable for people in all age groups and for different reasons, as we discussed earlier. But again, it is also a form of relationship that is not for everyone.
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