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You always had the dream of working abroad. When you got the chance to do that for a year, you couldn’t refuse. There’s just one problem: you’re also in a relationship. You are still crazy about your partner and that is why you don’t want to give up the relationship. Your partner doubts whether it can work, but you decide to start a long-distance relationship.
The beginning of the long-distance relationship turns out to be more difficult than expected. You would like to see your sweetheart and you feel a bit lonely abroad. With the help of technology you keep in touch daily and that makes you feel better temporarily. Temporary. Because as time passes, it becomes more and more difficult to maintain the relationship. You think: how can I make sure I don’t ruin the long-distance relationship?
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10 things that can ruin a long distance relationship
While long-distance relationships have many benefits, such as lots of alone time and the opportunity to learn more about yourself, there is also a greater chance that the relationship will not survive. There are many reasons why long-distance relationships don’t work . And this is mainly due to the fact that the physical distance often proves to be too great to bridge digitally, causing you and your partner to grow increasingly apart.
Despite your best efforts to maintain the relationship, the fact is that long-distance relationships are more difficult than “normal” relationships. There are different dynamics and more things that can ruin the relationship. These are ten of those things.
1. No end date
If a clear end date is not set, it can lead to uncertainty and confusion about the future of the relationship. A long-distance relationship is easier to maintain if you know how long you have to wait until you are together again. If that end date isn’t there, you might be holding on to something you’ll never get again. And that thought can ruin a relationship.
2. Emotional neglect
Out of sight out of mind. If you never see your partner again, at least physically, it is difficult to stay emotionally involved . Emotional neglect is one of the main reasons why long-distance relationships fail. If you spend little time together and don’t give your partner enough attention, they can feel misunderstood, alone and abandoned. This can lead to arguments and disagreements that ultimately cannot be resolved.
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3. No quality time
It’s hard to have the same quality time as before when your partner lives hundreds or thousands of miles away from you. However, the lack of quality time can cause the relationship to weaken. Short conversations on the app won’t help the relationship. Instead, you need to invest time and energy in real conversations and making sure your partner knows you’re there.
4. Inadequate communication
One of the most important things in a long distance relationship is communication. You can’t see each other (physically), so talking to each other is more important than ever. If you do not do this or do it insufficiently, it can lead to trust problems in the relationship. Don’t be afraid to be candid about what you think and feel and leave room for discussion.
5. Have high expectations of each other
Do you expect a video call three times a day? Placing high expectations on each other in a long-distance relationship can lead to disappointment and irritation on both sides. Try to remain realistic about what is possible in such a situation and set clear boundaries around what you do and do not find acceptable in the relationship.
6. Lack of trust
Trust is essential for a long distance relationship. Secrecy about what you each do without your partner creates mistrust and that often marks the beginning of the end. Trusting each other requires openness, even though that may not always be nice to hear if you live far away from each other.
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7. Jealous feelings
The physical distance can fuel your feelings of jealousy . This is the case, for example, if you know that your partner is going out without you – and you do not know what will happen and who your partner will meet there. These feelings can make it more difficult to maintain trust.
8. Taking each other for granted
You should appreciate and respect your partner, even if you are physically far apart. Taking your partner for granted will lead to problems in the relationship because there is no room for growth. You no longer give your best to the relationship and that can ruin the relationship.
9. Alternatives
If you don’t see your partner regularly, you can become more open to alternatives . You may get to know someone who does live near you and as a result, even if you did not expect it, you may consider another partner. While you normally ignore the alternatives, the absence of your partner makes you open to the idea.
10. Inability to talk out disagreements
Digital conversations are different from what you are used to. This may mean that disagreements cannot be resolved in the usual manner . It’s normal to have disagreements in a relationship, but it’s important to talk through those differences in a constructive way. That is even more important in a long-distance relationship than in a normal relationship.
Despite all these potential obstacles, it is still possible to have a successful long-distance relationship. Open communication, honest conversations and making time for each other: these are the best ways to keep the relationship going. By staying involved in each other’s lives and taking the time to understand each other better, any long-distance relationship can survive the test of time.
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