10 Signs Your Partner Is Lying (And Not For His Good)

You expect the people around you to be honest with you. For the biggest part. Because a white lie is something everyone actually does. And we all sometimes use an excuse to get ourselves out of a bad situation.

Is it legal to spread these little lies? Everyone decides that for themselves. But when it comes to the real lies, it can be heartbreaking when the truth comes to light. You must be able to rely on and rely on your partner. And if this person then lies flatly to you for a long time, this means a breach in your trust.

If you think that your partner is deliberately hiding things from you or is twisting the truth in an advantageous way, you may start to doubt: “Is he/she lying to me?” A polygraph would be useful, but you can’t just buy a lie detector like that at Praxis. Instead, we will give you the signs and signals of a liar. But first the following:

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Why do they lie?

The fact is that no one always tells the truth. If there’s one thing history has taught us, it’s that some people are cunning and hardened liars.

Think of white-collar criminal Bernie Madoff , who for years misled investors into pumping billions of dollars into his Ponzi scheme for his own gain. Or politicians like Bill Clinton, who lied to the American public on national television about his affair with intern Monica Lewinsky.

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.” – Bill Clinton

Do you think your partner rarely or never lies to you?  Think again . Both your partner and the cunning liars above lie all day long. And honestly, you do that too. We all do that. ¹ It would even be a social problem if no one ever lied. But there is a difference between the lies we tell. ²

Stories that are completely made up? We call that fabrication lies . Are you exaggerating an event or situation? Exaggeration lies . Or you lie by not saying anything: concealment lies . And then there are the white lies , the relatively innocent white lies. In short, partners can lie in many ways and for different reasons .

But lies still remain what they are: lies. These are some reasons why your partner might be lying to you.

• Your partner promises to do something, but hasn’t completed the task.
• Your partner wants you to do something for him or her.
• Your partner wants to get you on his or her side.
• Your partner doesn’t want to disappoint you if he or she has done something wrong.
• Your partner may be afraid of losing you or being rejected.
• Your partner wants to control the situation.
• Your partner is trying to hide infidelity.
• Your partner wants to take advantage of you at your expense.
• Your partner doesn’t want to take responsibility.
• Your partner wants to pretend to be better than he/she actually is.

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5 Ways to Recognize Liar Behavior

As good as we are at lying, and no matter how often we do it, we are bad at recognizing lies. That’s because it is not that easy to decipher the changed behavior. It’s complicated , as research also confirms. In fact, scientists have discovered that your instincts are quite strong at recognizing lies, but your conscious mind fails you. ³

That said, while there may not be a simple sign that someone is lying (like Pinocchio’s growing nose), scientists have found some ways to spot lies. If you want to find out if your partner is lying to you, there are five ways to identify the changed behavior.

1. Non-verbal behavior
2. Verbal behavior
3. Vocal behavior
4. Physiology
5. Brain activity

First, you have to pay attention to how someone behaves, the non-verbal behavior. And then also to what someone actually says, the verbal behavior. The third way is to detect lies on a vocal level, or the use of the voice, such as the pitch, pauses between telling and how long it takes before an answer follows a question.

So far you can do everything yourself, without any tools. But that does not apply to the fourth and fifth methods. The fourth way to detect lying is by using physiology, sweat, blood pressure and heart rhythm. These are the characteristics that are detected by a lie detector. As a fifth method you could monitor brain activity, but because this can only be done with a brain scan, this is not a home-garden-and-kitchen method to try yourself.

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10 Signs You’re Being Lied To

Now that you know that everyone lies, what the reasons can be, and how you might recognize liar behavior, it’s time for some examples. Because if you don’t know what to look for, you’ll never know if you’re actually being lied to. These are some universal signs that indicate that your partner is lying to you.

1. Your partner speaks in a strange way

Have you noticed that your partner takes a really long time to answer? Or does your loved one start to stutter when that normally doesn’t happen? If you notice that your partner is talking to you in a different, strange way, this could be a sign that you are being lied to. ⁴

Why? As mentioned earlier, people who lie change their voice and speech patterns. They change not only the tone of their voice, but also the speed of their speech and the length of the pauses between sentences.

2. Eye contact is avoided

Try it: tell someone a lie to their face. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s very difficult. Do you notice that your partner avoids eye contact while you ask a number of seemingly normal questions? And there’s no reason not to have eye contact ? Then you may wonder why your partner is doing that, because it’s a sign that your partner is hiding something from you. Some more signs that indicate lying:

• Your partner blinks a lot.
• The pupils are dilated.
• Eyes moving back and forth.
• Close your eyes for a long time after an answer.

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3. Blushing when you shouldn’t

If someone says something ‘without batting an eyelid’, we assume that the truth is being spoken. But what if a red blush appears on the cheeks? Then it could be possible that you are being lied to.

Blushing is a natural reflex of the body, which changes the colors on your cheek thanks to the fight-or-flight response. And if you lie, you would want to run away. So you can recognize a lie if someone starts blushing when you ask something. And these are also signals:

• Your partner suddenly starts sweating.
• Dry mouth can be the result of lying.

4. Something is wrong

As the person who knows your partner best, you know better than anyone how your partner normally behaves. So you are the first to notice when something is different about your partner. There is a mismatch between body language, mood, facial expression and words. Something tells you that something is not right: your intuition is an important advisor when it comes to recognizing lies.

5. You start to doubt yourself

Gaslighting: Have you ever heard of it? It is the situation where your partner lies to you in a manipulative way, making you believe that you are wrong. If you feel like the truth is being twisted , while being told that you are wrong, then it is high time to wake up.

6. Your partner tries to distract you

You ask where your partner has been, but you get a half-baked answer that doesn’t really answer your question. Your partner tries to distract you by quickly changing the subject. There is usually a clear reason for this: they don’t want to lie to you . By talking over it, they avoid this. But that too is a form of lying.

• Your partner is vague about it.
• Repeating questions before answering them.

7. Too much is too much

Long answers, too many details: it’s all too much . Liars are artists at making up “reliable” stories. And you can tell by how they tell you. All kinds of meaningless details are added, to make the story stronger and more believable.

If your partner tells you so much that it seems like he or she is defending himself or herself, it’s a sign that someone is lying. It is nothing more or less than a substantiation of a manufactured innocence.

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8. No shortage of mistakes

There is a reason why detectives have suspects tell the same story in different ways during interrogations. They want to find out whether a lie is being made and, if possible, want to trap the suspect in their own lies.

If you have made something up, it is difficult to tell the same story over and over again. Small details differ, stories do not match previous versions. So if you suddenly notice changes in your partner’s story, it is important to be alert.

9. Your partner scratches and fidgets constantly

Some people are bad liars. They are not completely in control of their bodies when they lie, mainly because it makes them nervous. And this is reflected in the behavior, specifically in fidgeting and scratching.

Just as some singles fidget with their hands during a first date , which is often a tense situation, liars fidget when they lie to someone. For example, people are also more likely to fidget with their faces when they lie. ⁵

10. Difficult questions lead to aggression

You ask a normal question, get a portion of aggression in response. What the f*ck ? Is your partner getting unreasonably angry at you, for no real reason? Then it might be an attempt to distract you. Expressing anger is a way to escape your difficult questions. And that often has only one reason: he or she is lying to you.

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