10 Signs That You and Your Partner are Growing Apart

Ups and downs; every relationship has to deal with them. But if you have more and more downs and fewer ups, you can start to wonder; “are we growing apart”? For example, the conversations are difficult, ‘something’ no longer seems right or you gradually realize that you have different needs. And when you think about it, you start to doubt your relationship even more . Should you continue or are the signals strong enough that the end of the relationship is near?

If you feel like you are drifting further and further away from your partner, never to get closer, it is not strange that you take a step back and evaluate the relationship. Most relationships that fail are not due to an incident but more often due to a series of events.

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So, if you know that your relationship is in trouble, it can help you take action to fix the problems, or you can pack your bags and prevent a tough time that is ahead of you. But how can you know for sure that you are growing apart? Here are the 10 signs that indicate that you and your partner are growing apart.

1. You don’t pay attention to each other when you’re together

Are you glued to your smartphone during dinner together? Does your mind always wander when your partner is talking to you? Or does everything your partner says to you go in one ear and out the other?

If you are no longer interested in your partner’s words, or simply don’t feel like giving your attention to your partner, then this is one of the clear signs that you are growing apart.

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2. You don’t want to do anything for each other anymore

Maybe you still do the “obligations”, like visiting your partner’s family, but you don’t want to do much else for your partner. You only clean up your own things, do your own laundry and leave your partner’s. If you are asked to do something, you do it reluctantly, because you simply don’t feel like doing anything for your partner anymore. When you experience this, you can prepare yourself for a breakup, or actually you are already doing it unconsciously.

3. You want something or someone else

Do you notice that you are becoming interested in others? Are you secretly already on a dating app to get your bearings? Or do you suddenly flirt with strangers much more often? These are signs that your heart is no longer in the relationship. They are the signals that you want something different from your partner.

4. You live past each other

Life is busy, free time is sparse. You are busy with your work, the children you share, hobbies and meeting brands. You’re busy with everything except each other. On the couch together for a Netflix evening is no longer an option because you live completely apart from each other. If you don’t make more time for each other, it is inevitable that you will eventually grow apart. And that happens gradually and silently.

5. You are indifferent

You may think that arguments and heated conflicts are disastrous for a relationship, but indifference is even worse. Do you notice that it doesn’t really matter to you anymore? That means you’ve given up hope. The period of fighting is over.

You are not asked anything when your partner makes an appointment, but you don’t care anymore. Your partner calls you names and doesn’t even respond anymore. Talking about relationship problems? You know that it doesn’t matter, no matter what you say. Once you reach this stage, no one can deny that you have grown apart as a couple

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6. You don’t have sex anymore

It is also not a good sign if you and your partner no longer spend time in the bedroom, doing anything other than sleeping. Intimacy is important in every love relationship, and if it is not there, something is wrong. No affection, no intimacy and no sex life; if these three words describe your situation, you can probably assume that your relationship is over, even if it is not yet pronounced.

7. You don’t want to share anything with your partner anymore

Normally you would come home and you couldn’t wait to share your day at the dinner table. But now you eat separately and you don’t even feel like telling how your day was. You are even okay with not being asked about it. Feelings, dreams, desires and thoughts; you don’t care anymore what is going on in your partner’s mind. It is an indication that you and your partner are drifting apart if you no longer want to open up to your partner.

8. You’re stuck in a rut

Eat, sleep, work, repeat; that’s all you do. At the end of the day, you come home from work, eat in front of the TV, and then plop down on the couch with your smartphone in your hand for the rest of the evening. If this is the usual pattern in your relationship, you’re probably stuck in a rut .

Especially if you no longer do fun things , this is one of the signs that you are growing apart. While you know that couples who try new things together are happier together, according to research from Stony Brook University. 

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9. You can’t agree on anything

It’s normal to have disagreements in a relationship. While a single disagreement isn’t a big deal, it’s a different story if you can’t compromise on anything. In fact, if you find yourself yelling at each other every time you have a disagreement, and “normal” conversations turn into heated arguments time and time again, then it’s time to throw in the towel. This is one of the key signs to recognize that you and your partner are drifting apart.

10. You prefer to spend time without your partner

In a happy relationship you look forward to time together; quality time. But if you notice that you are increasingly isolating yourself from your partner, this does not bode well for the relationship. In many cases, wanting to physically separate yourself from him or her is one of the final stages before a breakup.

So if you’re always looking for opportunities to be apart from your partner, whether by hooking up with others or exercising more often, it should come as no surprise that you’re drifting apart.

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Grown apart: what to do?

Relationships are never the same, but these universal signs that the relationship is starting to fade can tell you if you and your partner are growing apart. If you notice that you no longer put feeling into the relationship, are no longer intimate and no longer even say sweet things or show affection , then there is a good chance that your relationship is over . But that doesn’t have to be the case.

It’s tempting to immediately think of the worst-case scenario . You assume the worst when there is no need for that. What you experience in the relationship does not have to mean the end of the relationship.

You can revive the relationship, give it a boost and do everything you can to solve the problems. Recognizing that you are growing apart as a couple is the first step in getting the relationship back on track. So if you experience it, remember that it is not too late.

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