10 Reasons Why Relationships Fail

You have already had a number of relationships in your life, but each time they fizzle out. It starts off tempestuous and passionate and not long after turns into a boring relationship without any form of passion. What are you doing wrong? Or does it really depend on the partners you choose each time? You try to figure it out, but you can’t.

Is there a pattern to all these failed relationships ? What are the reasons why relationships fail? And more importantly: what can you do to ensure that you succeed next time?

Failure is learning

Let’s start with the good news: you can always learn something from a failed relationship. After all, by definition, you can’t learn anything if you never fail. So try to analyze the relationships you’ve had to figure out what to look out for in the future. What exactly goes wrong? When did the relationship start going downhill? What have you said or done yourself? You can’t change anything about it, but you can at least learn something from it.

• Are there times when you could have reacted differently?
• Are there things you accidentally say but regret later?
• Do you make enough time for your partner?
• Are you showing enough how much you love that person?
• Are there certain things you could have seen in advance?
• Do all these exes have something in common?
• Is there a pattern to these failed relationships?

These are things where you can ask yourself whether you want to approach this differently in a future relationship. These are the mistakes you won’t make a second time. Also pay special attention to the red flags so that you don’t fall into the same pit again next time.

ALSO READ: Why Relationships Fail? 10 Reasons That No One Can Deny

10 reasons why relationships fail

Relationships come and go. However, every broken relationship is an opportunity to learn. So it’s not about how often you fail in your relationships, but what you learn from them. Failure is part of the game of love. These are 10 reasons why relationships fail.

1. You guys are constantly arguing

A sign that you are not meant to be together is if you spend more time arguing than having fun together. Every couple has discussions, irritations and frustrations. But if you bring out the worst in each other, that’s not good. Arguments are usually the result of poor communication. If you don’t discuss things with each other and therefore accumulate everything, this can lead to major explosions.

What you can do about it:

Work on your communication skills. Try to have more open conversations together. If you really can’t reach an agreement, see a relationship therapist .

2. Lack of trust

Mutual trust is one of the most important pillars of a healthy relationship. If there is a shortage of it, or not at all, then what often happens is that the relationship fails. Distrust in a partner can be due to a history of cheating on an ex, or a lack of self-confidence, which makes it difficult to trust others. Or the mistrust could of course be caused by something that happened in the current relationship.

What you can do about it:

Find out who has the trust problems. Where exactly does this come from? What is the cause? And can it still be repaired?

ALSO READ: The 10 Pros and 10 Cons of A Long Distance Relationship

3. You’re too clingy

You don’t have to depend on your partner to be happy. Besides love, a career, friendships, family and other hobbies are also very important. In a healthy relationship, both parties have their own lives from which they find happiness. If you are not happy yourself, you will not be happy in a relationship.

What you can do about it:

Unfortunately, this is a reason that you cannot do much about. Ask yourself whether you only get your happiness from this relationship or from other aspects of life.

4. Expecting perfection

Everyone has the image of the perfect partner in his or her head. A list of qualities that the person must meet. Unfortunately, that perfect partner does not exist. Also, no one has a perfect relationship. We all have high expectations when it comes to love and we can feel disappointed when these expectations are not met.

What you can do about it:

Let go of your high expectations. No relationship is perfect. Learn to love someone with all their good and bad sides. Everyone has certain flaws, including you, and that’s not a bad thing at all.

5. You don’t want the same things

It is often difficult in the initial phase of the relationship to really ask your partner what he wants and what he expects from the relationship. Does the other person really want a serious relationship , marriage or children? People often think that they can be the one who can change the other. So even if this person doesn’t want a serious relationship at the moment, they think that can be changed. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

What you can do about it:

Try to have a good conversation at the beginning of the relationship about what you are both looking for in a relationship. What do you expect? What do you and the other want to achieve? This way you will not be faced with any surprises later.

6. Different priorities

Having different priorities is going to break up the relationship in the long run. Do you want to buy a camper and travel the world? But the other person wants to buy a house and have children as soon as possible ? If you have completely different priorities in life, things aren’t going to work between you.

ALSO READ: Does She Feel Unloved in The Relationship? 18 Ways to Change That

What you can do about it:

You will never have exactly the same priorities, but at least make sure that you are on the same page in a number of areas. Such as career, relationship and family.

7. You get into a permanent rut

In the beginning of a relationship everything is new and exciting, but once a couple has been together for a number of years, you cannot escape a rut. Instead of having a romantic dinner together, you talk about the expenses of the month. A rut is normal, but if you really can’t figure it out together, this is not a good sign for the relationship .

What you can do about it:

Try to get out of that rut. Plan something new, go on a date together, keep it exciting. You should always put effort into the relationship.

8. You’re not a good fit

There are basically four ways you can fit together: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. If you are completely mismatched in each of these areas, your personalities will not match and the relationship will not work .

What you can do about it:

In the early stages of the relationship, try to determine whether this person checks each of these boxes. You may be a very good match intellectually, but if the physical attraction is not there, the relationship will not work in the long term.

9. Lack of communication

Lack of communication is one of the main reasons why relationships fail. This can manifest itself in different forms. You both unconsciously cannot share enough with each other or small irritations are not expressed enough, causing frustrations to arise. A person may not be able to handle criticism or admit his or her own mistakes. All these small parts can start to pile up and eventually erupt like a volcano.

What you can do about it:

In a healthy relationship you must be able to communicate openly and honestly with each other. You need to feel safe and comfortable with your partner to be able to say certain things. Also note that the communication is not just verbal. Also show that you love each other in certain actions.

10. You’re growing apart

Imagine you met in high school and have been together ever since. But now, 10 years later, you seem to have little in common. Life is so different compared to puberty. This way you can grow further apart and discover that you are not a good fit for each other.

What you can do about it:

Unfortunately, this is a reason that you cannot do anything about. It’s no one’s fault. Unfortunately it was not to be.

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