10 ‘Must Have’ and ‘Deal Breaker’ Qualities in a Partner

Singles looking for a relationship don’t have it easy. You’re looking for that coveted click: someone with whom the spark will fly. But in the meantime, you don’t leave your relationship status to fate. With every encounter, you tick off the good and bad qualities of someone, without realizing that love consists of more than ticking off a checklist.

This checklist is an internal list of qualities we want and don’t want in a future partner. Loyal, reliable, honest: these are the fundamental qualities that are at the top of the list for all singles. Other features are up for debate and are a plus for some, a turn-off for others.

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What are the must-haves and dealbreakers?

To find out what qualities the average man and woman really want, British dating website eHarmony conducted research. They analyzed eight years of data from their users aged 18 to 34. Which character traits are must-haves and what are the dealbreakers ?

eHarmony’s research produced a definitive list of features, which was published online by MetroUK . These are the top 10 ‘must-have’ and ‘dealbreaker’ qualities in a partner.

Top 10 ‘Must Have’ Qualities in a Partner

1. Sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life (77%)
2. Comfortable receiving and showing affection (61%)
3. Someone I can count on to always support me (54%)
4. Someone I am in love with and attracted to (53%)
5. Can speak and listen well (51%)
6. Kind and gentle (50%)
7. Emotionally healthy and able to share a stable life with someone else (41%)
8. Willing to explore sexual desires with passion and understanding (35%)
9. Honest and strong enough to do the right thing (34%)
10. Can handle life’s frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, stable attitude (33%)

According to the data, we want someone who is sharp, who likes to laugh and joke. This is someone who enjoys life and doesn’t take it too seriously. We also want this person to know how to give and receive affection: someone who says nice things to you and appreciates it when it happens in return. And if possible, this is also someone who is a good communicator, a good listener and can offer support when you need it.

On the other hand, there are qualities we would rather not see in a future partner. These are the deal breakers and turn offs; the qualities we absolutely do not want to see in a partner. What we especially don’t want is someone who lies, shows parasitic behavior and is mean-spirited to others. And of course it is more than a turn-off if this partner has sex with others, because monogamy is the standard. These are the top 10 qualities we don’t want to see in a future partner.

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Top 10 ‘dealbreaker’ qualities in a partner

1. Lies to everyone – especially me (74%)
2. Takes advantage of other people (69%)
3. Someone who belittles others, is impatient or hateful towards other people (57%)
4. Is not clean (50%)
5. Has sex with others outside the relationship (42%)
6. Has a devious nature and is mean to others (40%)
7. Uses illegal recreational drugs (38%)
8. Can’t manage anger or bottle it all up (38%)
9. Spends a lot of time sleeping, resting or cannot get off the couch (33%)
10. Someone who is intolerant of others (31%)

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