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If you’re in a new relationship, you probably assume you ‘ll be together forever . At least, that’s the goal. You are deeply in love and that is why you have the feeling that this relationship will stand the test of time. Yet it often happens that such a promising relationship ultimately ends up on the rocks.
In the beginning of the relationship, almost everything seems like sunshine and roses. You are getting to know each other better and better, you are madly in love and can almost only see the positive things in your partner. It’s not surprising that you think that you will stay together forever. Yet there is no denying that relationships come and go; the number of divorces confirms this every year.
While the reason for a relationship break-up is sometimes very clear, it is sometimes a lot more difficult to find out exactly where things went wrong. We discuss the most common causes of a relationship breakdown. Who knows, it could help you save or revive your relationship .
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Why do relationships fail?
Relationships fail more often than they reach the finish line. Sometimes a relationship ends before it can officially be called a relationship, other relationships remain intact for years until one or both of them wants out. They grow apart or bigger problems come their way that cause them to part ways.
Sometimes it is an accumulation of small things that explode the bomb, but more often there is an identifiable cause. There are a number of reasons that have caused many couples to no longer be together. What are these things that cause many relationships to fail? These are 10 reasons why happy relationships and beautiful marriages end up on the rocks.
1. Financial issues
One of the main reasons why relationships break up is because of financial reasons. These financial issues can be about anything related to money. For example, there may be discussions about the way in which the (joint) money is spent, about a partner who never wants to spend anything or who spends an alarming amount, or about unequal financial contributions to the household. These discussions can cause people to become more irritated and eventually break the relationship.
2. Not a good sex life
A healthy sex life and physical intimacy are important in any relationship. Sex is of great importance to many people. If sexual needs are far apart or people have ended up in a huge rut after all these years, this can be bad for the relationship.
3. Lack of attention and affection
In a relationship it is important to continue to appreciate and love each other. Being friendly, showing affection, giving a compliment and being attentive ensure that the relationship is maintained. Is this affection and attention missing in a relationship? Then this can be a cause for a relationship to fail.
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4. Poor communication
In a strong and good relationship there is clear communication. Both are open and honest with each other and discuss important matters with each other from time to time. If they don’t do this and communicate honestly with each other, it will cause bigger problems in the long run – possibly even a relationship breakdown.
5. Not wanting to make compromises
In a relationship it is important to make compromises. No one can always do everything their own way, sometimes adjustments have to be made. If one partner is unwilling to compromise, the relationship no longer has a chance of success . What was once a nice relationship quickly ends in a relationship with arguments.
6. Cheating
One of the common reasons for a relationship breakup is cheating. After a long-term relationship, it can happen that people get into a rut and one of them falls in love with another . Sometimes couples choose to stay together afterwards and work things out, but in many cases it causes a permanent break. Apparently the relationship had not been in order for some time, but this was necessary to end it.
7. Not enough common interests
While in the beginning they had a lot of common hobbies and interests, this is no longer the case. Perhaps certain hobbies were fun in the beginning, but after a few years it starts to irritate. It may also be the case that people have grown apart over the years. Whatever the reason; if there are few or no common interests left, it is not easy to stay together.
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8. Tragic events
Sometimes something happens in life that is so intense that there is too much sadness to maintain the relationship. Perhaps it is an illness, the loss of a loved one or some other reason that makes it no longer possible to stay together. Sometimes life just doesn’t go the way you want it to, and that can lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
9. Poor balance
In a good relationship there must be a certain balance. A relationship is a give and take. If this balance is not there, and for example one partner does much more work than the other, then this will most likely cause the relationship to no longer work . The one who does all the housework, while the partner watches TV and never does anything around the house? It inevitably leads to irritations.
10. Staying together for the kids
Many people stay together for the children. They do not want to divorce their children and therefore stay together. However, this does not necessarily have to be the best for the children, as they often sense when something is not quite right. Will there eventually come a time when the children have left home and the nest is empty ? Then there is a good chance that they will now no longer have a reason to stay together and will break up.
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One of the most common reasons
In addition to the above causes, there is also another reason that very often causes relationships to fail. According to Dr. John Gottman, a relationship therapist from America, contempt for a partner is one of the most common causes of couples breaking up. He notes that one of the first signs that a relationship is going wrong is when one partner begins to disrespect and make the other person feel worthless.
According to him, this is one of the most destructive behaviors in a relationship , next to, for example, criticizing each other or passive-aggressive behavior . You can recognize contempt in a conversation through respect, mocking the partner, using incorrect body language and swearing.
When the contempt starts to dominate, you forget almost all the positive qualities of your partner. Do you recognize this? Then it is important to break this negative pattern by rebuilding respect and admiration for each other. Think about positive memories together and think of positive qualities in each other to breathe new life into your relationship.
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