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The number of people who fall into the trap of narcissists is constantly increasing. As well as the number of people who develop narcissistic victim syndrome. But what exactly is this and how do you know if it bothers you?
When you meet a narcissist, chances are you initially have no idea how bad he is for you. People with this disorder do not show their true colors and pretend to be kind, friendly, loving and confident.
In reality, they lack empathy, have low self-esteem, and thrive on controlling others. They cannot survive without this supply, which is why they are always looking to gain someone’s trust and then slowly ruin them.
I’m sure this explanation sounds cruel, but ultimately it’s how narcissists treat you. They don’t care if they see you suffer. The only thing that matters to them is the feeling that they are in charge.
Now you can only imagine how horrible it feels to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from this disorder. Even if that person manages to escape, she will still feel the long-lasting effects of the abuse she experienced.
Which brings us to the narcissistic victim syndrome. A series of consequences that a victim of narcissistic abuse will experience even after escaping the clutches of a narcissist.
7 signs of narcissistic victim syndrome
Overall, narcissistic victim syndrome represents a number of mental, emotional, and social consequences that a person develops after experiencing narcissistic abuse . Unfortunately, this condition is not widely recognized, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk about it.
Having to deal with a narcissist and experiencing all these different types of manipulation must damage a person. Once you’re out of the toxic cycle, you’ll feel like a whole new person. And often you don’t know how to behave in the real world.
A narcissist makes you live in this little bubble that he has created for you. He makes you rely on him, he controls your actions and gaslights you to the point where you feel like you’re losing your mind.
If you escape that, you will be completely alone, and unable to explain to people what you have experienced. And what’s worse, you don’t know how to proceed.
There are clear signs that you are experiencing narcissistic victim syndrome. If you keep reading, you will be able to recognize the signals and respond accordingly.
1. You feel isolated from the rest of the world
During your relationship with a narcissist you have completely relied on him. He isolated you from your friends and family and made you feel dependent on him. After a while you got used to it and stopped complaining.
You accepted that way of life, thinking that he behaved that way because he wanted to protect you. In reality, he just wanted you to feel this way so he could control you more easily.
He knew your friends and family would see through his actions, so to make it easier for him, he made you think he’s the only one who cares about you.
Now that you’re out of the relationship, you’re still feeling the consequences of his actions. You feel isolated as if you don’t belong in this world. And honestly, you don’t know what to do to get rid of this feeling.
Also Read: How can you learn to love yourself?
2. You have issues with trust
All your emotions are all over the place. You have been manipulated and tested to your limits and somehow you have come through.
But now that you’ve escaped a narcissist, you no longer know who to trust. You see danger in everyone you meet. And even though you’re aware that you can’t live your life like this, you don’t know what to do to change the way you feel.
You have developed serious trust issues and sometimes you feel like you cannot trust even your best friends. That’s what a narcissist did to you.
3. You have trouble making decisions
A narcissist has made all the decisions for you. You always had to consult him before doing anything, so you got used to that feeling of having someone to rely on.
Now that you are free from his shackles, you don’t know how to exist on your own. You have difficulty making decisions, whether it has to do with your work or even simple everyday things. You find yourself struggling to figure out what to do.
Sometimes you catch yourself analyzing what to eat for breakfast because you’re so used to having to consider a narcissist’s opinion. That’s how far his abuse has taken you.
4. Narcissistic victim syndrome: you feel like you have lost yourself
You no longer recognize the person in the mirror. And you wake up every morning with an empty feeling and you go through life almost unconsciously.
You don’t know who you are, what makes you happy and what makes you sad. You just exist!
This is another consequence of the narcissistic abuse you have experienced. A narcissist made you lose your identity because that was the only way he could gain complete control over you. He destroyed your self-confidence because he needed you to need him.
Now that he’s gone, you have no idea who you are anymore. You felt like an extension of him for a while. And it feels impossible to escape this feeling.
5. You always blame yourself for everything
No matter what happens, you always feel like you’re to blame. You say “sorry” all the time because you’re used to being the one to blame. A narcissist always makes sure to shift the blame onto you. And even though he is out of your life now, you don’t know how to get yourself out of this state.
For example, if your friends say something hurtful to you, you make sure to apologize because you will convince yourself that you did something to make them behave that way.
You’re blaming yourself and if you don’t stop, chances are you’ll end up back in a relationship with someone who isn’t good for you.
6. You have difficulty setting boundaries
When you were involved with a narcissist, you subconsciously made the decision to ignore all your boundaries. This man pushed you to your limits, tested your loyalty and made you do things the way he said to do them.
Because of him you no longer know what it means to stand up for yourself and do what makes you happy. You don’t know how to distance yourself from people who are not good for you.
This is a serious consequence of narcissistic abuse, one that requires a lot of commitment to resolve.
Also Read: Why loving yourself is so important and how to do it
7. The narcissistic victim syndrome: you develop anxiety or depression
This is when things really get serious. Of course, any previous effects a narcissist has left on you are also something that needs to be talked about. They will change your life and the way you see yourself.
But you can also develop anxiety or depression after narcissistic abuse. Both conditions can affect your daily life.
If you find yourself struggling to get out of bed in the morning, unable to control your thoughts, and feeling restless, see a professional. Anxiety and depression can be treated, but it is always easier to control them if you respond in time.
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