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Are you currently in a relationship where you don’t come first? Do you feel like you are not being prioritized? Or that you are treated like everyone else, while you should be worth more? It is often easy to recognize that you are not your partner’s priority by a number of signs.
It is very annoying to realize that you do not come first, especially if you treat the other person with the highest priority. It’s normal to try to ignore or rationalize these signals at first, because you may be seeing things wrong. But if it has been going on for a long time, then you have the right to doubt your partner’s priorities.
Does your partner only make you feel special on important occasions, like Valentine’s Day and your birthday? And does that person make you feel miserable for the rest of the year? Then you’re probably not a priority. We will tell you more about the signals that tell you that you are not coming first.
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6 signs you’re not coming first
If your partner doesn’t see you as a priority, you can question the other person’s feelings. Of course, your partner can’t always put you first. That is an established fact. But if you consistently feel like you’re not a priority in your relationship, it might be time to take a step back. Because if that person really cares about you, they wouldn’t treat you like that. These are 6 signs that tell you more about that.
1. You feel like you’re not important
They never take you as an extra to an important event or even to hang out with their friends. If you were a priority, you would be the go-to date for all events; from a night out with friends to their best friend ‘s wedding .
Or do they always cancel things that mean a lot to you? After they say they’re going with you to an important event, like a family weekend, they cancel the night before without an apology. You only find out later that they just went out to chill with friends that day.
Finally, they always forget dates and events that are important to you. Only you remember your anniversary, birthdays or other important milestones in your life. Your partner never does the same for you.
2. You put in all the effort
From the first step, the first date and making the relationship official: you are always the one who puts in all the effort. If your partner takes forever to answer your texts, never makes plans for the two of you and is never the first to call or text, then alarm bells may be ringing for you.
A recognizable situation for many is that a partner only responds or contacts you when they want something from you. Conversely, they don’t care. Normally, for example, they are always “too busy” to respond to your message within a normal time frame, but as soon as you do not immediately respond to a call or text from them… then it immediately becomes a major problem.
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3. All plans are subject to their terms and conditions
If you are going to see each other, arrangements are usually made at the last minute. This may mean that your partner has looked at all other options before confirming any plans with you. For this person, meeting with you is an option if there is no better alternative. As a result, you probably spend a lot of your time together indoors.
At the same time, they always want to know what your plans are, but rarely propose anything once you tell them. This is a way for them to know they have a safety net if their other appointments fall through.
4. There is mainly interest in your body
Do you suddenly become a priority if this person wants sex? If they come over and jump straight into bed, it may be because they only see you as a sexual object – as a booty call . After the sex is over, they spend the rest of the evening on their phones or watching TV. Any meaningful conversation with you is avoided as much as possible.
Your “partner” doesn’t seem interested in you beyond your body. If your partner only compliments you based on your appearance, then you are probably nothing more than just a pretty picture to them and this person is not genuinely interested in you as a person.
5. You feel unhappy and abused
Do you no longer feel the same joy or excitement when you see your partner as you did before? Do you generally feel unhappy and insecure ? Then this is of course a huge red flag. If your partner doesn’t see you as a priority, you can feel extremely tired and abused.
Trust your intuition and if you feel like you are always sacrificing your life and dreams for your partner, then it is time to evaluate the relationship. Relationships are meant to make both people feel happy and secure, not just one of them. The occasional disagreement or argument is completely normal, but constantly feeling down is of course not healthy.
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6. Your partner treats you badly
Do you constantly have to make excuses to your family and friends about the way your partner treats you? Canceling at the last minute, not going to your family and so on. If this person does not make you a priority, you will see it in this avoidant behavior. And it’s even worse if you justify the actions to others, because that means you accept the behavior.
Are you told to ‘stop acting like that’ when you stand up for yourself? And there is no room to express your feelings about your problems. This type of emotional manipulation is a clear indication that your partner does not respect you or your feelings.
A partner who makes you a priority will take the time to understand where those feelings come from. Doesn’t that happen? Then your feelings are not a priority.
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