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Of course, no one wants to have relationship problems. You would prefer to solve these issues as quickly as possible and put an end to the unhappy feeling. However, it can be quite difficult to solve relationship problems ‘just like that’.
There are often specific problems for which a suitable solution must be found. But unfortunately there is no course or special school where you learn to properly deal with all these problems, so you often have to learn by trial and error.
Do you need relationship advice? Do you want more information about common relationship problems and what solutions there are? Or do you want more information about relationship therapy?
Relationship in a hopeless situation
Sometimes the problems in your relationship seem so big that it seems almost hopeless. You feel like you are losing each other and your bond is not as strong as it once was. You have relationship problems, which can make you feel very desperate. You don’t really know what to do to solve it and that makes you feel like you need help.
The chances are that the problems are avoided or expressed through arguments. How do you proceed now? How do you get a stable and happy relationship? Is there even a future in the relationship or is it hopeless? Fortunately, there are many options to improve your relationship, so that a breakup can be prevented.
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What can you do when you have relationship problems?
If there is a relationship problem, it is very important that you both first acknowledge that there is indeed a problem. It is important to know that you want to solve it together. It is a hopeless task if you want to do it alone. Therefore, talk about it with each other. After you both know what the problem is, you can start working on a solution.
You will have to choose each other and be willing to invest in your relationship. This is also one of the most important tips. Spend time together, communicate well and undertake activities. But before you know how to solve your problems, it is very important to know what exactly is wrong. Below we provide the most common causes of relationship problems, as well as advice and possible solutions.
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1. Miscommunication
The most important thing in a relationship is communication. If you communicate too little or in the wrong way, there is a good chance that things will go wrong. There are a number of questions you can ask yourself to find out whether your communication is good. Think about these questions carefully and discuss them with someone else if necessary.
- Do you show that you are listening?
- Do you make sure you really understand what is being said?
- Do you tell your story with emotions?
- Are you honest with each other?
- Do you think it’s important to take the time to talk about feelings?
To learn to communicate better, there are a number of tips that can help you. First of all, set a time to really talk to each other. Really take the time to understand each other, tell your story, share your emotions and listen carefully to each other. Make sure you stay calm and that the conversation doesn’t end in an argument.
Also understand that your relationship problems will not be solved all at once. It takes time to get used to a new way of communicating.
2. Cheating and trusting each other
Another major cause of relationship problems comes from one partner cheating. This can lead to a loss of trust and can also mean the end of the relationship . If you still want to fight for your relationship, it is important to be honest.
Find out the reasons for the cheating and both of you think carefully about whether it is still wise to continue the relationship. Ask yourself if mutual trust can be restored and if a healthy relationship is still possible.
3. Growing apart
If you have been in a relationship for a long time, it is logical that the relationship is a lot less exciting than in the first months. You will get more into a routine. Of course, this does not have to be bad, but there is also a chance that you will grow apart .
If you both have busy jobs and social lives, you will have little time for each other. There is less talk about the relationship, what bothers you and your emotions. You may notice that you are growing apart.
One of the most important ways to fix this is to make more time for each other. Good advice here is to plan an evening once a week, especially for you. During this time you can go out for dinner, have conversations or, for example, undertake new activities.
By sharing new passions and interests together, you will have shared memories and experiences. This will bring you closer together. In addition, making time for each other is very important for a good relationship. Show that you are there for your partner, help each other with small things and show affection .
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Relationship therapy: when is it necessary?
So communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship. It is important to talk to each other about the problems at hand. If you cannot reach an agreement, you can try to talk to others about the relationship problems that are going on. Maybe someone from your inner circle has good advice for you, such as a good friend or family member.
If this doesn’t help, relationship therapy is always a good option. A relationship therapist can help you find the cause of your problems and help you work together towards solving them.
This is how relationship therapy works
Not every form of relationship therapy is the same. Just as every couple is different, so is therapy. The approach depends on your problems and what is needed. There will be various sessions in which you learn to communicate better and listen to each other. You rediscover yourself, your partner and your relationship.
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Relationship advice from well-known books
Do you need relationship advice, but want to try something else before you go to a relationship therapist? Then there are also a number of books where you can learn more about improving your relationship. There are a large number of books written on this subject, which can help you better understand your relationship and the problems.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
Since its publication, this book has sold millions of copies: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus . It has now become a popular statement. This book is about the differences between men and women, which is also clearly reflected in the metaphor.
The author of the book is John Gray and in this book he flawlessly explains the differences between men and women with regard to relationships. He explains differences in mindset, how men and women feel things and how they communicate. By understanding that you are very different, you can solve a lot of relationship problems.
John Gray is an expert in personal development, relationships and communication. The aim of his books is for men and women to understand each other better by also understanding the differences.
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The Five Love Languages
Gary Chapman gives several ‘love languages’ in this book; the ways in which people can express their love. According to Chapman, these languages are: giving of time, words of encouragement, gifts, helpfulness and physical touch. By reading the book The Five Love Languages, a lot can become clear about your love language and that of your partner. You may discover that you differ greatly in this regard. By applying the knowledge in practice, you can prevent a lot of annoyance and misunderstanding.
Hold me
According to Dr. Sue Johnson, everyone needs love, support and connection. The book Hold Me Tight is written for relationship therapists and couples who want to work on their relationship. Dr. Sue Johnson is the developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, a form of relationship therapy, which you can read more about in this book. It is a groundbreaking way to create successful, close relationships. In this form of therapy, love is central, instead of the rules of communication.
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