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Dear environment,
Yes, I have a burnout. “Oh, how annoying, just a week of rest and then you’ll be back. Oh how annoying, but we all get tired sometimes, right? Oh how annoying, when are we going to do something fun again, then you’ll be back on track in no time?” Just a selection of the reactions that you, my dear environment, gave me when you heard that I had a burnout.
But it didn’t last a week, not a month, no, it lasted longer than a year. And yes, that is very annoying. Because in the beginning there is of course still understanding, but after a while this whining should be over. Isn’t that what you actually wanted to say, dear environment?
Because yes, it is completely true, dear environment, that I was no longer the pleasant friend that I used to be. And of course that takes some getting used to, yes, I understand that too. Not only does it take some getting used to, it is even a bit irritating at times. Because I no longer come over in the evening, I hardly go for a drink or a walk anymore. No, I’m at home because I have to recover from work.
Because lovely environment I’m working again!!! How nice and nice is that! So that is super nice and something I would never have dreamed of a while ago. Because I was tired, very tired. I was sad, very sad. And I was scared, so scared that I didn’t dare go to the supermarket anymore.
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And look what I can do now! I go to the supermarket every day (I don’t even think about it anymore!), I exercise, I work and I have hobbies! Wow, sometimes I can’t imagine how far I’ve come lately! I’m sleeping at night again, do you know how good that is? And sometimes I even come for a drink or a cup of coffee.
But that is not always enough for you and I actually think that is a shame. I think it’s a shame that you don’t always see how far I’ve come. How proud I am of myself, but that you don’t think it’s going fast enough. Because dear environment, you think I should go to the doctor because I’m still so tired (but I’m not nearly as tired as I was!). You think I should go to the psychologist because I still get overstimulated sometimes (but that happens very occasionally now and it used to be constant!). Because I think I can be very proud of myself, even if my pace is not your pace.
ALSO READ: My Journey to Recovery: How I Ultimately Overcame Burnout
Fortunately, dear environment, you are more than that. Fortunately, you are also my sweet and patient parents who are always there for me. Who have comforted me, given endless Reiki sessions and who have given me advice. Fortunately, you are also my dear friend, who completely accepts me as I am and who does not mind that I am often unable to do much in the evenings. Fortunately, you are also my dear friends, who did not ask questions but accepted when I withdrew. Who have never blamed me, who have all the patience in the world. And who just pick up the thread again even if I haven’t seen you for three months. Dear sweet sweet environment, I am so grateful to you, I love you!
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