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Love relationships are challenging, confusing and exciting – sometimes all at the same time. Thanks to this complexity, scientists are not yet completely clear on what exactly makes people happy in a relationship. And they will probably never find the exact answer, no matter how much research they do and how many surveys they take, because relationships are as unique as the people who have them.
Over the years, scientists have come closer to the answer. Based on what they learned about relationship satisfaction among couples , they now zoom in further on the factors that make couples happy. In the meantime, researchers also keep one thing in mind: how happy people are with their relationships is not stable.
How happy you are in a relationship changes over the duration of the relationship and your age also plays a role. And that was precisely the topic in a recent study conducted by psychologists at the University of Bern.
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This is the ‘unhappiest’ age to be in a relationship
When we argue with our partner, we may be temporarily unhappy in the relationship. The negative experience leads to an unhappy feeling. But after a night’s sleep we usually think very differently about it and the unhappy feeling has disappeared. In addition to these daily ups and downs, satisfaction can also change over a longer period of time, for example when you grow closer during the relationship or start to pursue different life goals.
Based on data from 165,039 people (20 to 76 years old), the researchers found out at what age people are least happy with their relationships. They found that people are most unhappy with their relationships when they are 40 years old. The low point at age 40 does not suddenly appear, because it decreases from the moment you become a young adult. Until you turn 40, then you will become happier with your relationship again.
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A midlife crisis for relationships
Lead researcher Janina Larissa Bühler says : “In the literature, the period around the age of 40 is often described as the ‘ midlife crisis ‘ – a time when people conduct a personal audit of their lives. The results of the study now show that this crisis is also taking place in the context of relationships: romantic partners conduct their personal audits, they calculate what they were able to achieve with their partner and they subtract the plans that did not go through.”
If you’re about to celebrate your 40th birthday , the good news is that the relationship crisis is only temporary. How happy you are with your relationship increases again once you reach the age of 40 and stabilizes as you get older.
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