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It is sometimes said that the success of living together depends on the number of square meters of the home. The space you have to live together is just as important as the space to avoid each other (for a while). But what about completely separate homes? In a LAT relationship, that is exactly the case: Living Apart Together , being together but not living together.
While some singles want nothing more than a ‘cohabitation relationship’, also known as the house-tree-animal, others do not want that at all. They prefer to be together, but still keep their own home.
According to the latest figures from Statistics Netherlands, around 7 percent of Dutch adults have such a long-distance relationship – a share that has remained the same over the past ten years. But in contrast to the average, one dating app has a much higher percentage of ‘latters’. Dating app e-Matching reports that a whopping 44% of its members prefer a long-distance relationship.
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The long distance relationship dating app?
According to the internal research of the dating app among almost three hundred singles, almost half of the participants (44%) prefer a long-distance relationship. It is striking that the preference for a long-distance relationship is higher among women (46%) than among men (39%). The research does not make it clear why the members of e-Matching prefer a long-distance relationship. Anne Boelaars-Kooman of e-Matching does have a possible explanation.
“Many of our members have had one or more long-term (cohabitation) relationships,” she says. “It could be that – because those relationships did not end well – they now prefer a different form of relationship, in this case a live-along relationship.”
Another reason she gives is that some members have been able to be alone for a while and have built their own lives. As a result, they are used to their own way of doing things. “They have their own lives and enjoy the freedom that life brings,” Boelaars-Kooman explains. “The only thing they miss is a nice partner, but that person should not stand in the way of their freedom.”
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House-tree-pet
Is there absolutely no one on the dating app who wants the full package? Yes, because on average 40 percent of e-Matching singles still want the complete package. They prefer to live together, get married, have children and end up in a house, tree and pet. The research shows that more men (40%) than women (32%) have that wish.
Does this also mean that singles in general are more likely to be looking for a long distance relationship ? Not entirely, because the average age of singles on e-Matching is probably higher than the average on an app like Tinder. And because e-Matching is only for higher educated people , we cannot say that a majority of all singles have a long distance relationship wish.
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Difference in age
Research shows that there are differences between older and younger singles who want to live in a LAT relationship. Older adults choose LAT relationships as a lifestyle option, for example, because they do not want to care for another person, want to protect their autonomy and independence, or have a general disinterest in living together after a previous relationship. Younger adults are more likely to end up in LAT relationships as a result of circumstances, such as not being able to find a suitable home, having different educations, or financial constraints.
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