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At first glance, Tinder seems easy. Within three minutes, you’ve signed up and your profile is live. Two minutes later, you’ve already checked 30 profiles and half an hour later, that number has already reached 200. This is easy , you think, and also quite addictive.
Because you don’t want to seem hopeless, you ignore the first match. Because you’re not desperate, right? The second and third matches appear on your screen, but you don’t really understand how you managed to like them. You close the app to take stock later that evening. But when you do, you see that the counter is still at three. Huh ?
You close the Tinder app, restart your phone and open the app again. Still three. Since you are lying on the couch bored, you decide to send the three doubtful people a first message. But while you are waiting for the messages to come in, you do not get a single response. You go to sleep, because tomorrow morning there will be more ‘action’ in your inbox.
When you wake up, you immediately open Tinder. To your great dismay, you still haven’t received any messages. Not one. And two out of three matches have disappeared . In the week that follows, things don’t get any better. A week later, the counter is at 23 matches, and still no response. You are now seriously starting to doubt yourself. What are you doing wrong?
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No reactions?
There’s nothing that can destroy your self-confidence like a series of disappointing Tinder experiences. Singles who don’t like you back and messages that are never answered: Tinder can sometimes feel more like emotional torture. What seemed easy turns out to be not so easy. You feel betrayed. And after 23 conversations that lingered on one message – yours – Tinder has become a sham.
Now, it’s easy to think that the problem lies with Tinder. The app just doesn’t work right , you think. The algorithm has locked you out or you’re less popular because you’re not paying for premium features. But in reality, it’s not Tinder. It’s you. And specifically, the messages you send.
If you’re able to score matches but get little to no responses, the problem is with your opening line. What you’re saying to open the conversation isn’t working. How you’re trying to break the ice isn’t effective. And we’ll tell you more about that.
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7 Tinder Opening Lines to Avoid
Tinder is a numbers game. It’s massive and can get pretty chaotic if you have multiple matches at once. That’s why dating app users have become more selective about who they choose to talk to. Which match do you pay attention to and which don’t? Which message do you respond to and which don’t? The opening line – and how interesting it is – makes all the difference.
The sheer numbers have made boring, run-of-the-mill opening lines unworkable. All conversations start to sound the same when everyone uses the same opening line. The faces may change, but the conversation starters don’t. They’re not unique.
So when dating app users are asked “Hi, how are you?” for the 326th time, they have only one choice: skip it. Because there are plenty of alternatives that do make an effort – men and women who do give them a reason to reply to the first message.
The bottom line is that plain, run-of-the-mill opening lines don’t work anymore. They only get your messages ignored. What do you need to think about? These are the messages that get ignored and drastically reduce your chances of a conversation.
1. “Hey”
Never start a conversation with your Tinder match with a “Hey,” “Hi,” or “Hello.” It works well if you want to blend in, but not if you want to elicit a response. It’s so lame that the average inbox is filled with these first messages. And as you might expect, these are the ones that don’t even get a second glance.
2. “Everything okay?”
Like the standard greeting, asking how you are is corny. Sure, asking how someone is doing is polite, but not on Tinder. In fact, it’s probably the most boring question you can ask your match. If you want to quickly put your match to sleep, combine “Hey” with “How are you?” Starting with a question can work well, but not with this one.
3. “You are hot”
Telling in the first message how hot, beautiful or sexy someone looks? That is inappropriate. By matching you already indicate that you find the other person attractive, more than that is not necessary. Men in particular are guilty of these messages. Don’t do it and prevent yourself from being one of the many creeps who do not look beyond the appearance.
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4. Meaningless Emoji
With a full virtual keyboard at your disposal, you choose a meaningless emoji? A kissy emoji, a heart or a thumbs up; what do you expect in response? If you only send an emoji, it seems like you don’t want to take the time to come up with an original first message.
5. “Do you want to meet up later?”
The ultimate goal of your Tinder matches is probably to meet in person. But it’s not a question you ask to start a conversation. Tinder may be a bit superficial, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat everyone like a sex object. Don’t get ahead of yourself.
6. “I want you…”
As strange as it may sound to some, Tinder is not a sex dating app . It is not the place to openly and blatantly throw sexual comments at everyone you “want to do.” In fact, it is never a good idea to send an explicit message on Tinder. The only thing you will achieve is making the other person uncomfortable. Save your sexting messages for later, like when you are off Tinder.
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7. “Here I am. What are your other two wishes?”
When it comes to Tinder icebreakers, there’s no shortage of funny and bad opening lines . They’re fun to tell friends, but they don’t really get you very far. In most cases, you’re not unique in that. It might help to make your match laugh, but that doesn’t guarantee a response.
All of these opening lines used on Tinder are a surefire way to fail. In a dating world that revolves around numbers, all singles build a virtual wall around themselves. This is how they protect themselves from time wasters, energy suckers, and vulgar messages. Send the wrong message and the wall will only get higher. So what should you send as a first message?
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18 Tinder Messages to Respond To
Anyone who tries a dating app like Tinder will quickly discover that sending a “hi” doesn’t get them anywhere. It may seem like a bold attempt to open the Tinder conversation for yourself. But in reality, it’s a meaningless message, hidden in a cluttered inbox of a single app. Who knows how many more messages the other person will receive and how much attention the other apps demand?
For a popular Tinder user, chatting with a single match is no longer relaxed. It’s more like juggling four balls in the air on a bicycle. The messages are pouring in as if the dam has burst. Try to get in there with an inconspicuous message. Whatever you send, make it stand out so that your new Tinder match has no choice but to open the message and respond. How do you do that?
Use these opening lines and messages as your first message on the dating app. Set yourself apart from the crowd with these unique messages.
1. “Before we start, you should know that I follow the 45 rule”
Want to provoke a reaction? The best way to do this is to create some confusion. Nobody knows the 45 rule, because it doesn’t exist. If you use this opening for Tinder, the other person will wonder out of curiosity what this rule is. You can fill in the answer yourself. For example: “I’m not going on a date until I’ve received at least 45 messages” or “I want to know within 45 hours whether we’re going to meet up. The time starts now”.
2. “Wow, my first match! And I’m glad it’s you”
Everyone is interested in the newbie who is not yet familiar with how it all works. It shows that you are not desperate and at the same time you are complimenting your match.
3. “Nice clothing style! What would you do if the tag on my shirt was hanging out on our first date?”
A compliment followed by a real-life situation; who hasn’t had a label sticking out of their clothes? If it’s a little funny and weird, you can be sure it’ll grab attention.
4. “Describe your life in four emojis”
A deep question wrapped in colorful wrappings to elicit an easy answer. Sometimes it’s easier to use emojis to illustrate something than to say it with words. A variation on this is: “Describe yourself in four GIFs.”
5. “Oh I’m also one of those geeks who loves cosplay”
With this simple sentence you let them know that you have looked at the profile well. But you also show that there is an immediate match on an important part. The easy thing about this sentence is that you can adjust it to almost anything you read or see in a profile. Did you match with a sushi lover? Then you can adjust it to “Ooh I’m also a sushi fanatic who is on a roll way too often.”
6. “Don’t you have a left ear? All your photos are taken from your right side ”
Don’t think you’re dealing with a modern-day version of Vincent van Gogh 1 ; everyone has a favorite side for photos. See something striking in your match’s photos? Come up with a witty comment and a response is almost guaranteed.
7. “I don’t know if you know this yet but…”
You can guarantee a response to your Tinder message by incorporating clickbait into your message. Who wouldn’t want to know the end of this sentence? Just like with the rule of 45, you can fill in the rest of the sentence yourself. Of course, use some humor when the inevitable ‘But what?’ question follows.
8. What you see in that photo […] is so […], what… [question about topic]
This example is perfect to personalize with a different topic each time, depending on what you see in the profile pictures. This makes it personal, shows that you took the time to look beyond the rest, and gives the opportunity to respond. Also, don’t forget to use a suitable GIF to reinforce your opening line and break the ice a little further.
Even More Tinder Opening Lines
- Hey [Name], if you had to choose between […] and […]. What would you choose?
- Why do you look so innocent, yet so seductive at the same time?”
- Does this mean we’re a couple?
- [Name], do you know what really makes you interesting?
- How did you know I was into […] with […]?
- Hello fellow[…]lover. Impress me: what do you think is the best […]?
- The perfect Sunday: an extensive breakfast followed by exercise or in bed until 12?
- I want to tell you something, but I don’t know how
- How do I know for sure that you and I […]?
- [Name], I would like your opinion on something important
6 Tinder Icebreaker and Opening Line Tips
Good Tinder openers are like oases in the desert: they’re rare. It takes time to find one. But once you do, you can enjoy it for a long time. Tinder openers and icebreakers are no different.
The right icebreaker shows that you mean business. That you’re different from everyone else. Here are some strategies you can apply to your Tinder icebreakers.
1. Show your humor
The saying goes, “nice guys finish last.” But when it comes to the Tinder icebreaker, it’s “funny guys finish first.” The goal of the perfect Tinder icebreaker is to elicit a response, preferably based on emotion. If you fail to do that, your match will quickly move on to the next one.
Humans are naturally drawn to good humor. Your icebreaker can capitalize on that . Combine a funny GIF with a clever comment to get more responses.
“Hey bookworm, thank goodness I’m not the only geek here on Tinder. What are you reading right now?”
2. Make it personal
If you had the choice of either receiving a handwritten, personalized letter from your significant other or a run-of-the-mill card bought at the gas station. What would you rather receive? Tinder is no different.
Personalized icebreakers and opening lines get the most attention . It shows that you took the time to read the profile, instead of just skimming through the photos. You are genuine, which many others are not. A message with personal details in it is most likely to get a response.
“Hey, finally found someone who can’t live without coffee either. Maybe we should discuss where the coffee tastes best.”
This simple opening line is not the type of line you often encounter on other websites. It is not wrong, based on a joke or some trick to seduce someone. With these types of lines you show interest in what the other person cares about, you confirm a common interest but it is also a hint to the future.
3. Make yourself intriguing
There is a fine line between being intriguing and being arrogant. As you get more experienced with Tinder opening lines, you will learn where that line lies. Putting yourself on a pedestal shows that you are worth pursuing. A little ego is a good thing, as long as you keep it in check.
“Finally, the type that meets almost all my requirements.”
4. Tease and tease
It is human nature to tease someone when they are interested in that person. ‘Teasing girls, asking for kisses’ is a well-known saying on the schoolyard for a reason. Playful and light-hearted teasing is an effective way to break the ice on Tinder.
“A policewoman? Just know that I am innocent until proven guilty ”
5. Ask any question
Who doesn’t love a surprise? We’re not talking about the unexpected dick pic, but about an original message that’s clearly not copy-pasted. A random question helps you achieve that goal. Whether it’s a what if question or a would you rather question , you can go in any direction with it.
“Hey dog lover! What if you could choose; a chihuahua or a chow chow?”
6. Take the direct approach
Most Tinder users play it safe. This is evident from the number of ‘Hi, how are you?’ opening lines. Although it seems like the best approach for them, a more direct approach is much more effective. Most singles are afraid of coming across as aggressive, for fear of scaring the other person away. The direct approach, on the other hand, is synonymous with showing courage.
“I want to know everything about you.”
The best icebreakers and opening lines for Tinder are not something you read about anywhere. They are not on any website you visit and you do not hear them in any video. The icebreakers you do find have long since been chewed up, spat out and then recycled by the next person. They are not unique enough. That is why there is no one-size-fits-all formula for the best Tinder icebreaker. Be the do-it-yourselfer and come up with your own opening line based on these three elements:
- It’s easy to respond
- It’s funny and/or creative
- It has a positive vibe
The Tinder icebreakers that guarantee success adapt to the situation. This means that you never send the exact same message, but apply a new strategy for each match. Only then is it possible to convince a match to respond. Give them a reason to respond.
Consider the unique characteristics of an individual match, analyze their profile and photos, take in all the details, and base your icebreaker on that. Finally, remember that not every icebreaker is able to break the ice; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose .
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