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Imagine this: after the first date, someone showers you with attention, gifts, and declarations of love that seem like they came straight out of a romantic movie. It seems too good to be true, and guess what? It often is. What you are experiencing may be “ love bombing ,” an overwhelming tactic used to make you feel connected quickly and deeply.
The outpouring of romance may seem flattering at first, but it could be an early sign of an unhealthy dynamic. As you walk this path of intense infatuation, you’ll want to be vigilant for the subtle lines between passionate infatuation and emotional manipulation . How do you recognize the warning bells? With these signs.
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1. Abundance of compliments from day one
You see your phone light up and there’s another message: “You’re so amazing.” It feels like a fairy tale at first, but a flood of compliments from day one can be overwhelming. Be careful, if it seems too good to be true, it often is.
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2. Constant texts and phone calls
It may seem like someone is just very interested in you, but constant texting and calling can be a sign of love bombing. It is a tactic to demand your attention and force intimacy, without any real emotional depth.
- An app every free moment.
- Phone calls, even when you have indicated that you are busy.
3. Make serious plans for the future quickly
Not to be confused with real future wishes, because these plans often come much too early. It can feel like you are in a movie where everything happens at high speed . “Live together? Children? Sure, and as soon as possible!” True love needs time to grow. Beware of hasty promises.
4. Pressure to be exclusive quickly
“Should we delete our Tinder profiles ?” your new flame asks, even though you’ve only just matched. The pressure to be exclusive quickly and put other relationships aside can be stifling. This isn’t about true connection, it’s about control.
5. Saying “I love you” unnaturally fast
When the words “I love you” are spoken too quickly, it often lacks the depth that these words deserve. Love needs to develop and mature, but a love bomber throws these words into the fray as a weapon for instant access to your heart.
6. Lavish gifts and surprises
If you find that the rain of gifts and surprises doesn’t stop, even when you’ve only just gotten together, this could be a sign of love bombing. It may seem very romantic, but it could also be a strategy to win your heart quickly and make you feel guilty if you don’t give back in kind.
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7. Extremely jealous and possessive behavior
Jealousy may seem flattering at first, but when it becomes extreme, it is suffocating . A partner who constantly checks on where you are and who you are talking to is not only showing love, but a possessive and unhealthy interest in your life.
- Be alert if you notice your freedom being restricted by jealous comments.
- Beware when loving gestures turn into demands for your time and attention.
8. Isolation from friends and family
If your new love tries to pull you away from your social circle and family, often with subtle excuses or obligations, then this is a serious red flag . It is a sign that they want to take control of your life which can slowly isolate you from the people around you.
9. Making unfounded promises and guarantees
Promised golden mountains and dreams of the future that seem too good to be true can be treacherous. There is often a difference between what is promised and the reality, and these false promises can be used to tie you to the relationship.
10. Make them feel like you owe them something
If you often feel like you have to “return the favor” because of all the attention and gifts you receive, be careful. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and love, not guilt or an unbalanced exchange of favors.
11. Mood swings and manipulative behavior
Imagine everything seems to be going well, but suddenly the mood changes and you don’t know where you stand. These are the unpredictable mood swings that keep throwing you off track. Manipulative behavior can be part of this, where your lover seems to be out to turn the situation so that you constantly adapt.
12. Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
Giving feedback is normal and often meant to help each other grow, but if any form of feedback or criticism is taken as a personal attack, it could be a sign of love bombing. Your partner may react with exaggerated hurt, making you feel uncomfortable and inclined to take back your words or apologize.
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13. Apologies for bad behavior
After an outburst, you might suddenly be inundated with apologies and declarations of love. Love bombing then serves as a smokescreen to cover up bad behavior . “I’m sorry, I did it because I love you so much,” you hear, making it almost seem as if their intense love is the cause of the negative behavior.
14. Contrast between public and private personality
In public, your partner may be the picture of perfection: attentive, loving, and a one-in-a-million partner. But behind closed doors, you and perhaps a few confidants see a very different side. Be on the lookout for this contradictory behavior, as it could be a sign that you’re dealing with a love bomber who’s keeping up a facade.
- Unexplained mood swings that cause confusion.
- A fragile ego that can’t take a beating.
- Using romance as a cover for inappropriate behavior.
- Affection as a chess piece in the game of power and control.
- A chameleon-like personality who cannot reconcile public and private life.
15. Unexpected withdrawal of affection as a means of power
You know where you stand, right? Wrong. Suddenly your partner withdraws all the warmth and love you are used to. This can be a tactic to exert power , manipulate you and make you feel uncertain about where you stand in the relationship. It is a game of coming and going where the rules of the game are constantly changing.
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