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While you’re longing for a refreshing distraction, you’re wondering if you’re still interested in a relationship that’s not too serious. Even if you don’t want to keep seeing the same person, the whole “hanging out” thing can get a little monotonous after a while. It’s like wearing a pair of shoes that just don’t feel right.
The sense of freedom that comes with one-night stands and short-lived flings can pass as quickly as a summer rain shower. Before you know it, the butterflies in your stomach have disappeared and you’re left wondering what you really want. Do I really want to hook up or not? Why do you wonder? Because people change, and their wants and needs are constantly evolving.
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To scratch or not to scratch?
That’s today’s question, but who knows what you’ll think about it in a month. So it’s smart to first ask yourself what mood you’re in for these days. If you’re in doubt whether a fling is still the best choice, there are a few clues that can help you get clarity.
1. You are jealous of other relationships
While you’re not exactly smitten with your fling, you see people around you who are madly in love . You think to yourself, “Why don’t I have that?” If you recognize that feeling, it might be time to consider whether a fling is really what you’re looking for right now.
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2. You feel guilty
Do you wake up next to your fling and sometimes feel guilty? This feeling of guilt arises when you are not happy with the situation, for example when your fling wants to build a future with you, while you are not ready for that yet.
3. You run out of time
Your regular fling is waiting for you every Friday night to hang out, but you increasingly have to cancel because your schedule is overflowing. You simply don’t have time for an evening of Netflix and chill anymore . If you’d rather do other things than make time for your fling, it’s probably time to call it quits.
4. You sigh when you text your fling
As if you didn’t have enough people vying for your attention, you start getting messages from your fling. You sigh. That cute single you were planning on meeting up with earlier is starting to get a little annoying, and you’re dreading your dates. If you recognize this feeling, you know deep down that it’s time to call it quits.
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5. You don’t feel ‘it’
You can like someone as a fling, but if you don’t feel that special spark, there’s probably no future in the relationship. Do you only think about them when you’re bored? If you miss that special feeling after a night in bed together, you may want more than a superficial friends-with-benefits relationship—or nothing at all.
6. You want more than just sex
With a fling, you often don’t get any further than the living room and bedroom, but at some point you start expecting more. A dinner out, a day out, or doing a fun activity together ; you wonder if your fling also wants something more. If you feel that you need more than just superficiality, it’s time to stop flinging.
7. You are looking for more depth
A fling is usually not the person with whom you have deep conversations. This man or woman is mainly there for fun and sex. Deep conversations are often left behind. This can be refreshing at first if you do not want a complicated relationship, but if you need depth, the lack of deep conversations can become frustrating. If you notice this, you may want more than just a fling at this point.
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Not a permanent situation
What most people forget is that a fling is usually not a lasting relationship. It is a temporary relationship to enjoy or to prepare you for what comes next. Whether that is another fling, a serious relationship, or something else. This has to do with your needs, which change over time.
If you ’ve been single for a long time , you might try to fill a void with a fling. At first, it’s exciting and satisfying, and it makes you feel loved again. But over time, as your self-confidence is restored, you won’t need the fling anymore and will be ready for more than just a fling. So if you’re on the fence about whether to take your fling any further, look for these signs.
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