5 Ways to Distance Yourself Emotionally

Relationships can enrich your life. They can give meaning to your life and be the reason why you want to be the best you can be. But they can also ruin your life and bring out the worst in you. Some relationships are not enjoyable: they are both mentally and physically exhausting.

While relationships can help you live a healthier life, sometimes letting go is the best way to care for your mental health and well-being. Sometimes distancing is the best choice.

Do you constantly have arguments and conflicts that are unresolvable? Is your partner pulling you further and further down? And might that person also abuse your kindness? These are just a few of the many reasons why you might consider emotionally distancing yourself. We’ll tell you more about it.

What is emotional distance?

Emotional distancing, or emotional detachment, means that you no longer want to be emotionally involved with someone. That is why you distance yourself from that person in that area. Emotional distancing can be temporary, in response to a stressful or unpleasant situation, or persistent, for example when you want to gradually leave a relationship.

For some people, emotional distance grows over time in a relationship. For others, it is a conscious choice to distance themselves emotionally and thus let go of things, experiences, or even people. This requires a switch to be made. The degree of distancing also varies per person, because every emotional connection is different.

ALSO READ: 60 Signs of a Harmful Relationship

Why would you distance yourself?

Emotional distancing is primarily done to protect yourself. It doesn’t mean that you want to abandon someone else or that you no longer care about them. It means taking a step back from the relationship to reflect on how the relationship is affecting you and your mental health. Emotional distancing can be considered in these situations, for example:

• You are trying to ‘save’ your partner.
• You spend all day with your partner.
• You are obsessive about checking.
• Your partner has too much influence on your choices.
• You are being treated badly .

Emotional distancing can give you the space you need to take care of yourself. You may need the space to maintain your own identity or to protect yourself from the negative influence that the other person has on you.

Creating some space between yourself and your partner does not always mean that you never want to talk to them again. Sometimes you may simply need some time to think or reassess a situation. Whatever your reason for wanting to distance yourself emotionally, we’re going to talk about some effective ways to give each other some more space. Although that is quite a challenge.

5 ways to distance yourself emotionally

Emotional distancing is not easy, because it concerns emotions and not rationality. Emotions are an automatic process for most people, although there is such a thing as ‘controlling the emotions’. That is also the case now. Because you have to be able to control your emotions in order to be able to distance yourself emotionally.

1. Recognize what makes you feel attached

As with all useful changes in life, this first step is primarily about getting to know yourself. Take a moment to recognize all the things that make you feel attached to your partner. Then compare how this relates to your urge to sever the emotional connection with the other person. What do you need to change? What can you do to not maintain the emotional bond? In other words, how do you make you care less about it?

When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, especially one that requires us to take drastic action, it usually helps to simply remember what got us there in the first place. The reason why you care so much about that person is also the thing you should think about first when you want to distance yourself. Do you feel so attached to your partner because you are in each other’s presence 24/7? Then that is the first thing you could reduce.

ALSO READ: 26 Classic Causes of Common Relationship Problems

2. Understand how much space you need

Sometimes we just need a little more time and space to emotionally detach and make rational decisions. If this is the case for you, you probably don’t want to cut the person out of your life completely just yet. You should therefore carefully consider the boundaries you set when distancing yourself. How much distance do you actually want?

Maybe you want to distance yourself emotionally from someone you haven’t known for very long. In that case, unfollowing social media accounts is of course a lot less drastic than canceling a joint bank account. Anyway, it depends on each relationship, per situation, how much space you need, and what the consequences are.

3. Be practical

Don’t we all wish that sometimes we had some kind of switch inside us that turned off our emotions? Unfortunately, you have to make sure that you think practically rather than emotionally as much as possible. Part of dealing with our feelings as practically as possible is understanding that these things take time, depending on how attached you were to them. So be realistic about your expectations and the actions associated with them.

Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself thinking about someone or reminiscing even though you’ve convinced yourself not to. It’s normal, because you’re only human. However, try to slowly work towards the practical consequences and limit your emotional thoughts.

ALSO READ: Is It Difficult to Share Feelings? These are 11 Tips to Express Your Emotions

4. Set boundaries

Emotional distancing means that boundaries must be set. Boundaries allow you to redefine your relationship while emotionally detaching from them . Don’t let the other person take too much of your emotions. And if you notice that the other person is getting too close again, you can distance yourself more or indicate your boundaries to the other person again.

For example, if you make agreements not to see each other for a certain period of time, stick to it. Or if you’ve set the boundary not to talk about each other’s lives, stick to it. This takes a lot of self-discipline, but it’s worth it in the end. You will notice that it is gradually easier to distance yourself, precisely by setting these types of boundaries.

5. Cut off communication

Constant communication with someone is how bonds are created. This happens as small children with childhood friends and later in life with fellow students or colleagues with whom you build a bond. The same thing happens in a relationship. At some point you learn so much about the other person and his or her daily life that it becomes almost impossible to go a day without hearing from them.

Not communicating ensures that you effectively distance yourself. This is a very difficult and quite abrupt decision, because you suddenly stop communicating completely. Think of it as quitting cigarettes cold turkey. Whether you persevere or have a relapse depends largely on your determination.

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