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The decision to divorce your partner is a tough, difficult and exciting decision. You are used to living with your partner and the fear of being alone is strong. You also do not know what the future will bring and you will have to start over again.
That’s why many people choose to stay with their partner, even though they are not happy in their marriage anymore. However, it is not a good choice, because staying in a bad marriage can have consequences for your mental health. For example, you can develop depression or anxiety disorders, just because you are staying in a marriage that makes you unhappy.
It is therefore good to check with yourself whether you are still really happy in your marriage. But how do you find out whether your marriage is still healthy? Or that you are actually dealing with an unhappy marriage?
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Being unhappy is a feeling
A marriage is perhaps one of the most complex things to maintain. While you want to keep the spark alive and continue to trust each other, you don’t want to get into a rut . Especially after a certain time, it can become more difficult to be completely happy with your partner.
One of the clearest signs that you are in an unhappy marriage is when the only positive memories are from the distant past. You remember what your relationship was like in the beginning; all the beautiful, loving and romantic moments . If you compare this with the current situation you will notice that it is a completely different story; you are no longer happy in your relationship.
Unhappiness is a feeling, and feelings can be hard to decipher. You may be unhappy right now, but in the grand scheme of things, you may be incredibly happy with your partner. It is therefore important to look at the bigger picture when determining whether you are unhappy in your marriage.
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5 Signs You’re Unhappy in Your Marriage
By comparing the past with the present, you may discover that you are no longer happy in your marriage at the moment. Yet at the same time this can be a difficult way, as it is often a gradual process. We have therefore listed a number of important signs of an unhappy marriage for you.
1. There is no more intimacy between you
One of the strongest signals that quickly emerges when the relationship is not going well is a lack of intimacy. And that is especially true when there is no other form of physical attraction.
Not only does your sex life deteriorate rapidly, you also kiss and cuddle a lot less. Many people who are dealing with an unhappy marriage often don’t even realize this. This is because it gradually decreases and lack of intimacy eventually becomes the ‘new normal’
It is therefore important to understand the situation well and compare it with the beginning of your marriage. It is normal in every marriage that the sex life becomes a bit less exciting, but there should still be enough attention, love and warmth. Do you notice that there is a lack of this now? Then this is often a very clear signal that you are no longer in a healthy and happy marriage relationship.
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2. You no longer have anything to say to each other
When something important happens in your life, for example at work or with your family, your partner should be the first person you would want to share it with. Do you notice that you no longer want to share these things with your partner? Or that you no longer have much to say to each other anyway? Then this is an important signal that something is not right between you.
Communication is extremely important in a happy marriage and if you no longer communicate with each other in a healthy way, then there is work to be done to save your relationship . Can’t you remember the last time you looked deep into each other’s eyes and had an honest, open conversation? Then you have a problem and you will have to work on it.
3. You no longer enjoy doing things together
Where you used to go on lots of dates at the beginning of your relationship, you hardly do anything together anymore. You don’t go out for dinner anymore, you don’t do fun things together anymore and you notice that you don’t feel like doing this with your partner anymore. No quality time , nothing anymore. Joint activities don’t seem to exist anymore and when you do do something together, you don’t enjoy it anymore. Do you spend a lot of your time alone and do you live past each other? That actually says enough.
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4. You keep criticizing each other
In every marriage there will be arguments. It is almost impossible for you to agree on everything. Arguments can also be good for the relationship, as it means you discuss your feelings and irritations with each other. However, arguments and criticism of each other should not take over in your relationship. If the conflict and criticizing becomes commonplace, it means there is more negative than positive energy between the two of you.
The criticism arises from great dissatisfaction with the marriage, irritations with your partner and an unhappy feeling . So do you notice that you argue very regularly and that you can remember more negative moments than positive moments? Then there is a very good chance that you are dealing with an unhappy marriage.
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” – D. Love
5. You fantasize about life without your partner
Do you often find yourself fantasizing about a happy, carefree future without your partner? Then this is a huge signal that something is wrong between you. Fantasizing is often a way to escape reality and the problems in your marriage. You are no longer happy in the current situation, which causes your subconscious to start looking for alternatives to make you feel better.
If you are happy with your partner, you will of course want to grow old with him or her and you will not quickly think about a future without each other. So do you fantasize about a future without your partner? Then you will really have to ask yourself whether you are still happy in your current situation or whether it is smarter to break up.
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Other signs of an unhappy marriage
In addition to the above signs, there are many other signals that can tell you that you are dealing with an unhappy marriage. For example, you will often feel alone, lonely and hurt. In addition, a lack of trust and communication can be a crucial signal that things are no longer going well between you. For example, do you suspect your partner of cheating ? Then this suspicion is often based on a lack of trust.
Do you feel like you are no longer being listened to? Are you more likely to go to your friends than to your partner to talk and do fun things? Do you no longer have romantic date nights together? And are you no longer each other’s priority these days? These are all important signs that you are in an unhappy marriage. It’s time to have a good conversation : do you still want to fight for each other or is it time to throw in the towel?
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